Dradventure
Don Juan
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What has your experience been with doing no contact with an ex? Did you end up getting back together ? Grow more as an individual?
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
What has your experience been with doing no contact with an ex?
- Thread starter Dradventure
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"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Dradventure
Don Juan
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In which ways?
RickTheToad
Moderator
Mixed. I know a few reached out, but I never responded. I did chase after one once, but that one was done. When no contact with my ex-wife 9 years ago or so, never heard from her again (good riddance - big mistake on my part).
For the ones that had, I never bring the trash back into the house once it's put outside for waste. Nothing good ever comes of it. Always best to get someone new if a relationship ends. A relationship ends for a reason..
For the ones that had, I never bring the trash back into the house once it's put outside for waste. Nothing good ever comes of it. Always best to get someone new if a relationship ends. A relationship ends for a reason..
DEEZEDBRAH
Master Don Juan
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The nuclear option is block/delete. I've never understood why getting back with a girl after when in all likelihood the breakup was an excuse for an eiffel tower.
Doctor Europeo
Moderator
My ex broke up with me last summer. I went no contact and now I have a new gf, and I like this new gf way more than I liked my ex
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
_sideways_
Master Don Juan
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But....doesnt anyone think that they are crazy and ,"love" you.
I'm speaking from venezuela.
It is different from california girls.
_sideways_
Master Don Juan
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Maybe sometimes....you should bow your head...say...sorry love.
And keep a beautiful woman next yo you for the next 20 years
And keep a beautiful woman next yo you for the next 20 years
_sideways_
Master Don Juan
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I'm not saying I'm doing that...but. maybe some women need a little help....in knowing how to love.
They all don't know.
They all don't know.
Kdw8
Don Juan
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Broke it. The waiting got to me overtime, felt like I was waiting for something that wouldn't happened unless I initiated it, and that seemed to be the dynamic throughout a lot of the relationship. She kept it cordial when we talked, which kinda upset me. Acting like we weren't in a relationship a few months prior. I moved on, stopped checking on her, blocked her and her sister numbers and social media, started meditating, starting working out more, went on other dates but still nothing really came out of them at all.
Atom Smasher
Master Don Juan
It’s gratifying because it is proof positive that we overcame emotion. We fought an inner, battle, won that battle, and now enjoy the sense of mastery this generated.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
RangerMIke
Master Don Juan
100% You either leave a situation that isn't working for you, or the woman you are dating adjusts to your needs. Win-Win always.
Now if you are doing this with the 'intent' to get her back... well... that is low. A vast majority of women I walk away from are gone for good.... which is fine.
Now if you are doing this with the 'intent' to get her back... well... that is low. A vast majority of women I walk away from are gone for good.... which is fine.
My "no contact" strategy is to never contact them again. It wasn't a ploy to get back together or pique their interest. I was done with them and ready to move on. If you are using it to play games or send any message other than "I'm done with you" then you are doing it wrong.
Dash Riprock
Master Don Juan
As my trips around the sun have added up, no contact has become my default setting for any relationship in which I'm treated poorly, the person is disrespectful, or it's not mutually beneficial where we both invest and get something out of it. This is especially true for women and dating but goes for business, family, and male friends too.
Jake_Gyllenhaal69
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why the fvck would you want to get back with your ex. You're not a woman.
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Woujo
Don Juan
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The best thing you can do with an ex is move on and don't look back. Here is why:
If she dumped you, that means she does not really like you, and trying to get back with her just makes you look more and more weak and beta. When a woman is in a relationship, she tries to make it last as long as she can but once she cannot take it anymore and dumps you she almost never looks back, so you coming back to her does not work.
If you dumped her, you have done the worst possible thing you can do a to a woman from an evolutionary perspective because women evolved to need the acceptance and protection of the tribe. The phrase "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned' is true because, from an evolutionary perspective, you have basically sentenced her to death. So even if you come back and apologize and try to take her back she will never really trust you again.
If she dumped you, that means she does not really like you, and trying to get back with her just makes you look more and more weak and beta. When a woman is in a relationship, she tries to make it last as long as she can but once she cannot take it anymore and dumps you she almost never looks back, so you coming back to her does not work.
If you dumped her, you have done the worst possible thing you can do a to a woman from an evolutionary perspective because women evolved to need the acceptance and protection of the tribe. The phrase "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned' is true because, from an evolutionary perspective, you have basically sentenced her to death. So even if you come back and apologize and try to take her back she will never really trust you again.