"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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What happened here and how did i handle it?

ronniel

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To cut the long story short, she is a hb 8.5, 11 years younger than me.
She is living about 380 miles away. We saw each other every weekend, for about 2 1/2 months.

Initially very attracted to me, then she started to fade away. The whole time i didn't try to smother her with text messages, just one-two per week and then i used to propose to meet.

Last time we talked, i proposed to meet again. She said that we should not meet and see how things would work out. I asked for clarification and she responded with, i don't know. do you see this thing working?

I responded with yes, i agree this thing doesn't work. lets end it. bye.

What happened here?
It's been 5 days and had no news from her.
 
Last edited:

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

betheman

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Its an LTR, the odds of those things working are hugely stacked against it.
who travelled to see who?
 

st_99

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LDR + Young girl = dont bother analyzing.

enjoy the memories, move on, nothing here to see. :D
 

Greasy Pig

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Young chicks are very insecure and have a fairytale view of romance and relationships.
The 22yo chick I was seeing last year ended it when I had to move 100km (60 miles) away for work.
All my LTRs before her were 60 miles away and it worked well but they were older women. The did sometimes complain by saying shyt like: "If I just need a hug or I'm feeling spontaneous and want to do something, you're an hour away."
Don't take it personally, just respect her decision and move on.
Still, I have to say that 380 miles is a long way to go for some poon.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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ronniel

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Well, we didn't even talk about having a relationship though. Guess this is what she felt that the thing was.

Anyway, i think that handled all this the right way, maintaining my respect and self control.

Thanks guys.
 

ronniel

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I still wonder, is it because she lost attraction for me or is it just the distance itself?

Also, did i act right saying to end the whole thing. I did it because i sensed that she was not so interested anymore, so i bailed out first.
 

Boilermaker

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Good call.

Who knows why she lost attraction, as the old Scara would say?... Another lollipop finished, brother, you handled it perfectly.

Pre-emptive strikes like this have shock and awe effect and you'll surely be remembered as "one of those different ones" throughout her life.

Good Luck!
 

ronniel

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Cool, i like to know i acted the best i could.
Another question. What to do if she contacts me again? I sense that her bruised ego will make her do it.
Do i stay complete nc or do i play it indifferent but friendly?
 

“The 22 Rules That Turned Me From Invisible to Irresistible With Women… Starting Tonight”

You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.

I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.

Then I discovered 22 simple rules that rewired my entire dating life. The anxiety vanished. Conversations flowed effortlessly. Women started chasing me for a change.

These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.

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Boilermaker

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She may not contact, but if she does, my suggestion would be to not reply.

I am not a woman-hater, but in my own life, I have seen that sticking to my decision of NEXT strictly (especially in the beginning) helped reduce my dependent tendencies. I killed that cowardly romantic inside me.

I don't think she deserves your attention or friendliness. Save that for someone who actually deserves it.
 

zengame

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She probably felt the relationship was going nowhere if you rarely talked except to make plans to hookup.
 

SecondHalf

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You slept with her on weekends.
You didn't keep in tight contact throughout the week.

Well, we didn't even talk about having a relationship though. Guess this is what she felt that the thing was.
She wanted more I think.

However, if you don't feel slighted (and likely you shouldn't), if she called, why not go get some more? The distance is quite a distance, but if it works....

SH
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Scaramouche

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Dear Ronny,
You handled it well,now forget about her and start exploring ever dating opportunity...Should she return (and I think she will),then just treat her as another option!
 

ronniel

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**UPDATE**
Well, she started trying to get my attention, through her blog page. Posting songs that we used to listen when at my place and stuff like that.
I won't bite. If she makes a more concrete move, i will think about it.
 

origin138

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st_99 said:
LDR + Young girl = dont bother analyzing.

enjoy the memories, move on, nothing here to see. :D
st_99's reply may seem short and to the point, but it's as accurate as it gets. Move on.

Boilermaker said:
I don't think she deserves your attention or friendliness. Save that for someone who actually deserves it.
Also excellent.
 

VladPatton

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Kudos man, damn you nailed her with a swifty! Well played.

Sorta like:

"I wonder who would win in a fight between us?"
*punch in the face...KO!!*

The End.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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