"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

What happened here and how did i handle it?

ronniel

Don Juan
Joined
Aug 15, 2011
Messages
97
Reaction score
2
To cut the long story short, she is a hb 8.5, 11 years younger than me.
She is living about 380 miles away. We saw each other every weekend, for about 2 1/2 months.

Initially very attracted to me, then she started to fade away. The whole time i didn't try to smother her with text messages, just one-two per week and then i used to propose to meet.

Last time we talked, i proposed to meet again. She said that we should not meet and see how things would work out. I asked for clarification and she responded with, i don't know. do you see this thing working?

I responded with yes, i agree this thing doesn't work. lets end it. bye.

What happened here?
It's been 5 days and had no news from her.
 
Last edited:

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

betheman

Banned
Joined
Nov 4, 2010
Messages
1,843
Reaction score
67
Its an LTR, the odds of those things working are hugely stacked against it.
who travelled to see who?
 

st_99

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 20, 2006
Messages
1,783
Reaction score
59
LDR + Young girl = dont bother analyzing.

enjoy the memories, move on, nothing here to see. :D
 

Greasy Pig

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 22, 2009
Messages
1,675
Reaction score
102
Location
Australia
Young chicks are very insecure and have a fairytale view of romance and relationships.
The 22yo chick I was seeing last year ended it when I had to move 100km (60 miles) away for work.
All my LTRs before her were 60 miles away and it worked well but they were older women. The did sometimes complain by saying shyt like: "If I just need a hug or I'm feeling spontaneous and want to do something, you're an hour away."
Don't take it personally, just respect her decision and move on.
Still, I have to say that 380 miles is a long way to go for some poon.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

ronniel

Don Juan
Joined
Aug 15, 2011
Messages
97
Reaction score
2
Well, we didn't even talk about having a relationship though. Guess this is what she felt that the thing was.

Anyway, i think that handled all this the right way, maintaining my respect and self control.

Thanks guys.
 

ronniel

Don Juan
Joined
Aug 15, 2011
Messages
97
Reaction score
2
I still wonder, is it because she lost attraction for me or is it just the distance itself?

Also, did i act right saying to end the whole thing. I did it because i sensed that she was not so interested anymore, so i bailed out first.
 

Boilermaker

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 3, 2010
Messages
1,332
Reaction score
76
Good call.

Who knows why she lost attraction, as the old Scara would say?... Another lollipop finished, brother, you handled it perfectly.

Pre-emptive strikes like this have shock and awe effect and you'll surely be remembered as "one of those different ones" throughout her life.

Good Luck!
 

ronniel

Don Juan
Joined
Aug 15, 2011
Messages
97
Reaction score
2
Cool, i like to know i acted the best i could.
Another question. What to do if she contacts me again? I sense that her bruised ego will make her do it.
Do i stay complete nc or do i play it indifferent but friendly?
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

Boilermaker

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 3, 2010
Messages
1,332
Reaction score
76
She may not contact, but if she does, my suggestion would be to not reply.

I am not a woman-hater, but in my own life, I have seen that sticking to my decision of NEXT strictly (especially in the beginning) helped reduce my dependent tendencies. I killed that cowardly romantic inside me.

I don't think she deserves your attention or friendliness. Save that for someone who actually deserves it.
 

zengame

New Member
Joined
Nov 23, 2012
Messages
3
Reaction score
0
She probably felt the relationship was going nowhere if you rarely talked except to make plans to hookup.
 

SecondHalf

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 25, 2011
Messages
651
Reaction score
24
Location
North America
You slept with her on weekends.
You didn't keep in tight contact throughout the week.

Well, we didn't even talk about having a relationship though. Guess this is what she felt that the thing was.
She wanted more I think.

However, if you don't feel slighted (and likely you shouldn't), if she called, why not go get some more? The distance is quite a distance, but if it works....

SH
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

Scaramouche

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 27, 2008
Messages
4,440
Reaction score
1,560
Age
82
Location
Australia
Dear Ronny,
You handled it well,now forget about her and start exploring ever dating opportunity...Should she return (and I think she will),then just treat her as another option!
 

ronniel

Don Juan
Joined
Aug 15, 2011
Messages
97
Reaction score
2
**UPDATE**
Well, she started trying to get my attention, through her blog page. Posting songs that we used to listen when at my place and stuff like that.
I won't bite. If she makes a more concrete move, i will think about it.
 

origin138

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Sep 20, 2011
Messages
335
Reaction score
43
Location
Colorado
st_99 said:
LDR + Young girl = dont bother analyzing.

enjoy the memories, move on, nothing here to see. :D
st_99's reply may seem short and to the point, but it's as accurate as it gets. Move on.

Boilermaker said:
I don't think she deserves your attention or friendliness. Save that for someone who actually deserves it.
Also excellent.
 

VladPatton

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 26, 2012
Messages
3,246
Reaction score
232
Location
NYC
Kudos man, damn you nailed her with a swifty! Well played.

Sorta like:

"I wonder who would win in a fight between us?"
*punch in the face...KO!!*

The End.
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

Read more...

Top