"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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What happened here and how did i handle it?

ronniel

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To cut the long story short, she is a hb 8.5, 11 years younger than me.
She is living about 380 miles away. We saw each other every weekend, for about 2 1/2 months.

Initially very attracted to me, then she started to fade away. The whole time i didn't try to smother her with text messages, just one-two per week and then i used to propose to meet.

Last time we talked, i proposed to meet again. She said that we should not meet and see how things would work out. I asked for clarification and she responded with, i don't know. do you see this thing working?

I responded with yes, i agree this thing doesn't work. lets end it. bye.

What happened here?
It's been 5 days and had no news from her.
 
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"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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betheman

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Its an LTR, the odds of those things working are hugely stacked against it.
who travelled to see who?
 

st_99

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LDR + Young girl = dont bother analyzing.

enjoy the memories, move on, nothing here to see. :D
 

Greasy Pig

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Young chicks are very insecure and have a fairytale view of romance and relationships.
The 22yo chick I was seeing last year ended it when I had to move 100km (60 miles) away for work.
All my LTRs before her were 60 miles away and it worked well but they were older women. The did sometimes complain by saying shyt like: "If I just need a hug or I'm feeling spontaneous and want to do something, you're an hour away."
Don't take it personally, just respect her decision and move on.
Still, I have to say that 380 miles is a long way to go for some poon.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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ronniel

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Well, we didn't even talk about having a relationship though. Guess this is what she felt that the thing was.

Anyway, i think that handled all this the right way, maintaining my respect and self control.

Thanks guys.
 

ronniel

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I still wonder, is it because she lost attraction for me or is it just the distance itself?

Also, did i act right saying to end the whole thing. I did it because i sensed that she was not so interested anymore, so i bailed out first.
 

Boilermaker

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Good call.

Who knows why she lost attraction, as the old Scara would say?... Another lollipop finished, brother, you handled it perfectly.

Pre-emptive strikes like this have shock and awe effect and you'll surely be remembered as "one of those different ones" throughout her life.

Good Luck!
 

ronniel

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Cool, i like to know i acted the best i could.
Another question. What to do if she contacts me again? I sense that her bruised ego will make her do it.
Do i stay complete nc or do i play it indifferent but friendly?
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Boilermaker

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She may not contact, but if she does, my suggestion would be to not reply.

I am not a woman-hater, but in my own life, I have seen that sticking to my decision of NEXT strictly (especially in the beginning) helped reduce my dependent tendencies. I killed that cowardly romantic inside me.

I don't think she deserves your attention or friendliness. Save that for someone who actually deserves it.
 

zengame

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She probably felt the relationship was going nowhere if you rarely talked except to make plans to hookup.
 

SecondHalf

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You slept with her on weekends.
You didn't keep in tight contact throughout the week.

Well, we didn't even talk about having a relationship though. Guess this is what she felt that the thing was.
She wanted more I think.

However, if you don't feel slighted (and likely you shouldn't), if she called, why not go get some more? The distance is quite a distance, but if it works....

SH
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Scaramouche

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Dear Ronny,
You handled it well,now forget about her and start exploring ever dating opportunity...Should she return (and I think she will),then just treat her as another option!
 

ronniel

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**UPDATE**
Well, she started trying to get my attention, through her blog page. Posting songs that we used to listen when at my place and stuff like that.
I won't bite. If she makes a more concrete move, i will think about it.
 

origin138

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st_99 said:
LDR + Young girl = dont bother analyzing.

enjoy the memories, move on, nothing here to see. :D
st_99's reply may seem short and to the point, but it's as accurate as it gets. Move on.

Boilermaker said:
I don't think she deserves your attention or friendliness. Save that for someone who actually deserves it.
Also excellent.
 

VladPatton

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Kudos man, damn you nailed her with a swifty! Well played.

Sorta like:

"I wonder who would win in a fight between us?"
*punch in the face...KO!!*

The End.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

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