"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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What does this mean?

Nikar

Don Juan
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Hi all,

I'm an AFC learning to pick up some of the traits of a DJ. Not all, but just some traits that DJs have.
There's this HB8.5 chick at my workplace where I like.
She's pretty shy, not very talkative(unlike hors) and doesn't open up much.

We work in the same office and everything and frequently talk to each other about everyday life(our childhood, activities, what we do in the morning etc.) and say greetings everyday etc.
All along, I have never been sure whether she had a boyfriend or not, but I never asked her either.

Today, we were having dinner after work(just me and her).
Halfway, we ran out of topics to talk and I brought up a miscellaneous topic about music to break the awkward silence.
Below is our convo:

Me: So, what kind of music you listen to?
Her: Pop, rap, country, anything that sounds good. You?
Me: Mostly anything, I don't have a preference.

5 SECONDS OF AWKWARD SILENCE.

Me: So, you ever bought any portable music players, like Zune or iPod?
Her: No, not really.

1 SECOND OF QUICK SILENCE.

Her: My boyfriend bought me a portable video player.
Me: Video player? That's very cool...blah blah blah...


Obviously, I got a little bit of freaked out when she mentioned "boyfriend", but I played it totally cool, and I dunno whether I should be proud of myself.
In fact, I behaved so cooly that I didn't even bat an eyelid and my ****ing facial reaction didn't even change at all! :D

These few days, I have been pretty sweet to her(in an AFC manner), such as buying ice-cream and dividing it into two cups for us, as well as treating her to meals every now and then(not everytime).
When she gets a little fever, I would also kind of ask her and if she went to see a doctor or something.

1) Thus, when she mentions "boyfriend" in the convo above, is it to test my reaction? Or is it a casual remark?

2) If it's really a reaction tester, then was my "cool" reaction a wise one? Obviously, I'm not obessed about her and I don't want her to think I'm some crappy desperado.

3) What should my next step be?

Thanks all!
Nikar.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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KneghtRyder

Senior Don Juan
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Dec 6, 2006
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the general consensus is AFC behavior is counterproductive even though you want her to like you.
 

Play the Game

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 5, 2007
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Notice how bf is only brought up after 5 sec of awkward silence. Doesn't take a genius to read between the lines.

I think you should go find another girl.
 
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