"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

What does this mean?

Nikar

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 24, 2005
Messages
112
Reaction score
4
Hi all,

I'm an AFC learning to pick up some of the traits of a DJ. Not all, but just some traits that DJs have.
There's this HB8.5 chick at my workplace where I like.
She's pretty shy, not very talkative(unlike hors) and doesn't open up much.

We work in the same office and everything and frequently talk to each other about everyday life(our childhood, activities, what we do in the morning etc.) and say greetings everyday etc.
All along, I have never been sure whether she had a boyfriend or not, but I never asked her either.

Today, we were having dinner after work(just me and her).
Halfway, we ran out of topics to talk and I brought up a miscellaneous topic about music to break the awkward silence.
Below is our convo:

Me: So, what kind of music you listen to?
Her: Pop, rap, country, anything that sounds good. You?
Me: Mostly anything, I don't have a preference.

5 SECONDS OF AWKWARD SILENCE.

Me: So, you ever bought any portable music players, like Zune or iPod?
Her: No, not really.

1 SECOND OF QUICK SILENCE.

Her: My boyfriend bought me a portable video player.
Me: Video player? That's very cool...blah blah blah...


Obviously, I got a little bit of freaked out when she mentioned "boyfriend", but I played it totally cool, and I dunno whether I should be proud of myself.
In fact, I behaved so cooly that I didn't even bat an eyelid and my ****ing facial reaction didn't even change at all! :D

These few days, I have been pretty sweet to her(in an AFC manner), such as buying ice-cream and dividing it into two cups for us, as well as treating her to meals every now and then(not everytime).
When she gets a little fever, I would also kind of ask her and if she went to see a doctor or something.

1) Thus, when she mentions "boyfriend" in the convo above, is it to test my reaction? Or is it a casual remark?

2) If it's really a reaction tester, then was my "cool" reaction a wise one? Obviously, I'm not obessed about her and I don't want her to think I'm some crappy desperado.

3) What should my next step be?

Thanks all!
Nikar.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

Read more...

KneghtRyder

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 6, 2006
Messages
471
Reaction score
0
the general consensus is AFC behavior is counterproductive even though you want her to like you.
 

Play the Game

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 5, 2007
Messages
680
Reaction score
6
Location
Nirvana
Notice how bf is only brought up after 5 sec of awkward silence. Doesn't take a genius to read between the lines.

I think you should go find another girl.
 
Top