So in my circle of friends we've run into a bit of a problem. In a group of about 8 or so of us, there are 3 of us that would like to ask out the same girl. Now i've liked her for awhile now and was planning on asking her out whenever i get the chance to. However, another guy told someone else that he was calling dibs on her, not knowing that 2 other people like her as well. Me personally, i don't believe in it. But others say it's "being a good friend" and it could ruin friendships if you don't honor the "dibs". I was wondering what others around here think about this situation?
Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single
She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.
You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.
The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.
What do you think about "Dibs"?
- Thread starter D_Master
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"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
So pimp its scary
Master Don Juan
When a guy call dibs, it's like saying, "I get the first chance to ask her out."
Then, once he asks her out, she returns to fair game status.
The other option is that the next time one of your friends calls dibs on a girl, decide on the 'terms' of the call.
Because, it's true that such a thing can cause a bit of friction between friends...
Then, once he asks her out, she returns to fair game status.
The other option is that the next time one of your friends calls dibs on a girl, decide on the 'terms' of the call.
Because, it's true that such a thing can cause a bit of friction between friends...
MindOverMatter
Master Don Juan
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Personally, I don't believe in dibs. It's basically someone telling you what you can and can't do, while guilt-tripping you.
I do believe in bros over hos, but dibs is an exception, and I'll explain why. If a friend tells me that he's interested in a girl I'm planning to ask out, I will back off out of respect, and even try to help him out. Sometimes you do have to take one for the team, and it builds a better friendship.
But if he tells me he has dibs on her, he's pretty much telling me "fvck off, she's mine". Friends don't do that sh!t. If he came to me as a friend and said he was interested and if it would be cool for him to go for it, I'd give her up right there and then. But if he's telling me what I can and can't do, and trying to control me while using friendship as a guilt-trip, then he's sh!t out of luck.
Remember, real friends respect each other and don't step on each others toes over a girl. By calling dibs, this guy stepped on your toes, and that's not a sign of a friend.
My 2c
I do believe in bros over hos, but dibs is an exception, and I'll explain why. If a friend tells me that he's interested in a girl I'm planning to ask out, I will back off out of respect, and even try to help him out. Sometimes you do have to take one for the team, and it builds a better friendship.
But if he tells me he has dibs on her, he's pretty much telling me "fvck off, she's mine". Friends don't do that sh!t. If he came to me as a friend and said he was interested and if it would be cool for him to go for it, I'd give her up right there and then. But if he's telling me what I can and can't do, and trying to control me while using friendship as a guilt-trip, then he's sh!t out of luck.
Remember, real friends respect each other and don't step on each others toes over a girl. By calling dibs, this guy stepped on your toes, and that's not a sign of a friend.
My 2c
Hollowpoint
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I agree with MOM!
“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
So pimp its scary
Master Don Juan
MindOverMatter - I would agree with that, it is kinda like having your friend step on your toes a little bit...
That's why I would like to add that if the person DOES 'call dibs' he better act quick, and I let them know that 'dibs' is not an eternal thing, if it's been a week and he hasn't done anything about it then there is nothing wrong, and if the guy gets angry that you didn't let him get dibs then you just tell him "I gave you the chance and you didn't take it, that's as much as giving up. Deal with it."
That's why I would like to add that if the person DOES 'call dibs' he better act quick, and I let them know that 'dibs' is not an eternal thing, if it's been a week and he hasn't done anything about it then there is nothing wrong, and if the guy gets angry that you didn't let him get dibs then you just tell him "I gave you the chance and you didn't take it, that's as much as giving up. Deal with it."
[look]aRhino
Don Juan
very very well put MoM. i agree with him 97.6%.
Rhino
Rhino