So in my circle of friends we've run into a bit of a problem. In a group of about 8 or so of us, there are 3 of us that would like to ask out the same girl. Now i've liked her for awhile now and was planning on asking her out whenever i get the chance to. However, another guy told someone else that he was calling dibs on her, not knowing that 2 other people like her as well. Me personally, i don't believe in it. But others say it's "being a good friend" and it could ruin friendships if you don't honor the "dibs". I was wondering what others around here think about this situation?
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
What do you think about "Dibs"?
- Thread starter D_Master
- Start date
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
So pimp its scary
Master Don Juan
When a guy call dibs, it's like saying, "I get the first chance to ask her out."
Then, once he asks her out, she returns to fair game status.
The other option is that the next time one of your friends calls dibs on a girl, decide on the 'terms' of the call.
Because, it's true that such a thing can cause a bit of friction between friends...
Then, once he asks her out, she returns to fair game status.
The other option is that the next time one of your friends calls dibs on a girl, decide on the 'terms' of the call.
Because, it's true that such a thing can cause a bit of friction between friends...
MindOverMatter
Master Don Juan
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Personally, I don't believe in dibs. It's basically someone telling you what you can and can't do, while guilt-tripping you.
I do believe in bros over hos, but dibs is an exception, and I'll explain why. If a friend tells me that he's interested in a girl I'm planning to ask out, I will back off out of respect, and even try to help him out. Sometimes you do have to take one for the team, and it builds a better friendship.
But if he tells me he has dibs on her, he's pretty much telling me "fvck off, she's mine". Friends don't do that sh!t. If he came to me as a friend and said he was interested and if it would be cool for him to go for it, I'd give her up right there and then. But if he's telling me what I can and can't do, and trying to control me while using friendship as a guilt-trip, then he's sh!t out of luck.
Remember, real friends respect each other and don't step on each others toes over a girl. By calling dibs, this guy stepped on your toes, and that's not a sign of a friend.
My 2c
I do believe in bros over hos, but dibs is an exception, and I'll explain why. If a friend tells me that he's interested in a girl I'm planning to ask out, I will back off out of respect, and even try to help him out. Sometimes you do have to take one for the team, and it builds a better friendship.
But if he tells me he has dibs on her, he's pretty much telling me "fvck off, she's mine". Friends don't do that sh!t. If he came to me as a friend and said he was interested and if it would be cool for him to go for it, I'd give her up right there and then. But if he's telling me what I can and can't do, and trying to control me while using friendship as a guilt-trip, then he's sh!t out of luck.
Remember, real friends respect each other and don't step on each others toes over a girl. By calling dibs, this guy stepped on your toes, and that's not a sign of a friend.
My 2c
Hollowpoint
Master Don Juan
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I agree with MOM!
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
So pimp its scary
Master Don Juan
MindOverMatter - I would agree with that, it is kinda like having your friend step on your toes a little bit...
That's why I would like to add that if the person DOES 'call dibs' he better act quick, and I let them know that 'dibs' is not an eternal thing, if it's been a week and he hasn't done anything about it then there is nothing wrong, and if the guy gets angry that you didn't let him get dibs then you just tell him "I gave you the chance and you didn't take it, that's as much as giving up. Deal with it."
That's why I would like to add that if the person DOES 'call dibs' he better act quick, and I let them know that 'dibs' is not an eternal thing, if it's been a week and he hasn't done anything about it then there is nothing wrong, and if the guy gets angry that you didn't let him get dibs then you just tell him "I gave you the chance and you didn't take it, that's as much as giving up. Deal with it."
[look]aRhino
Don Juan
very very well put MoM. i agree with him 97.6%.
Rhino
Rhino