"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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What do you say when they break 'no contact'?

Tictac

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S.,

Your phrase about 'want you back to re establish the relationship and end it later her way' seems closest to the what I think she's doing. But I am no psychologist. I observe behavior more than interpret it.

I have asked here 'how to play this' and have no plans to 'take her back on her terms' though I have said (and re-said) that I would like to keep the relationship going - on my terms or shared terms.

You predict my behavior. Very well. How would YOU do this?
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Scaramouche

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Dear Tic-Tac,
" How would YOU do this?"Hmmm....Yeah well I am ruled by my prick....I would get her back but on the unspoken basis that she is a principal plate,keeping three nights a week for spinning plates....Ask me what SHOULD I do?...Well No contact of course!
 

Tictac

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More random texts from her today. Out of the blue after a week, I get two pictures of her new dog. A bit of banter back and forth after that. But nothing else. I just responded playfully.

WTF?
 
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Scaramouche

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Dear Tic Tac,
I stick to my original advice,but must say based on her message "Out of the blue after a week, I get two pictures of her new dog."This is a Bird very much ruled by her emotions,you can really take this wherever you want...Interesting thing about people who buy Dogs,they feel secure!but they crave affection in their life...An important character revealing aspect,is what breed of Dog they acquire..Think about it Tic Tac!
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Tictac

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Scar,

Your way is what I'm going for. Was figuring that while I'm on vacation on the Carolina coast next week, I'll find some random photmto send her.

Whimsy, thy name is woman.
 

Zunder

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There is another scenario here. She could actually be a very good woman, looking to give a lot of herself to a man, but at 47 I am sure she has been through the mill a few times, hence her wanting to at least know after 4 months why you still go onto matchdotcom.

If you were spinning plates and said to her upfront "look I am keeping my options open", and she accepted it, well then you have a fvkbuddy--but it **seems** she was wanting a bit more than being a fvck buddy and at least she was honest with you when she said "I did such and such because you won't commit". I think as you are both of a mature age, then it could be a good idea to sit down and have a no bvlll**** session.

If you still regard yourself a plate spinner and want all options open tell her, and sense her reaction. If she balks, then politely ask her to never contact you again. If she does, and won't leave you alone, then maybe you might find a rabbit in your pot one evening. Or she may just get the message and leave you be.
 

Tictac

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Thanks Z. I was actually spending a good deal of time with her and not spending any time on Match at the time.

I never close off all my options but match has nothing to do with that. And I don't recall her saying (or me typing) that 'I did such and such because you won't commit'.

Seeing her would be a good thing though I am wary of being drawn in only to be blown out again.

Like I said, I've never been much for fishing.

Thanks all.
 

Zunder

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"But, she did go out a time or two and then pulled way back on me, as though her feelings have a rheostat. She said it was because I would not commit............"
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Outlaw_

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Warrior74 said:
Second best thing : You only say to words. "Come over."
Yo bro. I had to join this forum to tell you that this is right on time. I just used it this morning on my ex, who I've been not responding to her texts. And, she's coming over tonight.

Warrior74 said:
Her response dictates if any further conversation happens. If she comes over, treat her as normal, if she won't act normal, leave. (for me normal is chitchat making out and sex). If she acts normal talk to her after you bang her when/if she brings it up.
I'm going to run the interaction exactly like this.
 
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