"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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What do you say when they break 'no contact'?

Tictac

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S.,

Your phrase about 'want you back to re establish the relationship and end it later her way' seems closest to the what I think she's doing. But I am no psychologist. I observe behavior more than interpret it.

I have asked here 'how to play this' and have no plans to 'take her back on her terms' though I have said (and re-said) that I would like to keep the relationship going - on my terms or shared terms.

You predict my behavior. Very well. How would YOU do this?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Scaramouche

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Dear Tic-Tac,
" How would YOU do this?"Hmmm....Yeah well I am ruled by my prick....I would get her back but on the unspoken basis that she is a principal plate,keeping three nights a week for spinning plates....Ask me what SHOULD I do?...Well No contact of course!
 

Tictac

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More random texts from her today. Out of the blue after a week, I get two pictures of her new dog. A bit of banter back and forth after that. But nothing else. I just responded playfully.

WTF?
 
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Scaramouche

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Dear Tic Tac,
I stick to my original advice,but must say based on her message "Out of the blue after a week, I get two pictures of her new dog."This is a Bird very much ruled by her emotions,you can really take this wherever you want...Interesting thing about people who buy Dogs,they feel secure!but they crave affection in their life...An important character revealing aspect,is what breed of Dog they acquire..Think about it Tic Tac!
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Tictac

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Scar,

Your way is what I'm going for. Was figuring that while I'm on vacation on the Carolina coast next week, I'll find some random photmto send her.

Whimsy, thy name is woman.
 

Zunder

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There is another scenario here. She could actually be a very good woman, looking to give a lot of herself to a man, but at 47 I am sure she has been through the mill a few times, hence her wanting to at least know after 4 months why you still go onto matchdotcom.

If you were spinning plates and said to her upfront "look I am keeping my options open", and she accepted it, well then you have a fvkbuddy--but it **seems** she was wanting a bit more than being a fvck buddy and at least she was honest with you when she said "I did such and such because you won't commit". I think as you are both of a mature age, then it could be a good idea to sit down and have a no bvlll**** session.

If you still regard yourself a plate spinner and want all options open tell her, and sense her reaction. If she balks, then politely ask her to never contact you again. If she does, and won't leave you alone, then maybe you might find a rabbit in your pot one evening. Or she may just get the message and leave you be.
 

Tictac

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Thanks Z. I was actually spending a good deal of time with her and not spending any time on Match at the time.

I never close off all my options but match has nothing to do with that. And I don't recall her saying (or me typing) that 'I did such and such because you won't commit'.

Seeing her would be a good thing though I am wary of being drawn in only to be blown out again.

Like I said, I've never been much for fishing.

Thanks all.
 

Zunder

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"But, she did go out a time or two and then pulled way back on me, as though her feelings have a rheostat. She said it was because I would not commit............"
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Outlaw_

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Warrior74 said:
Second best thing : You only say to words. "Come over."
Yo bro. I had to join this forum to tell you that this is right on time. I just used it this morning on my ex, who I've been not responding to her texts. And, she's coming over tonight.

Warrior74 said:
Her response dictates if any further conversation happens. If she comes over, treat her as normal, if she won't act normal, leave. (for me normal is chitchat making out and sex). If she acts normal talk to her after you bang her when/if she brings it up.
I'm going to run the interaction exactly like this.
 
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