What do you make of this?

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

In my experience only a certain type of woman wants to have a coffee date, she's looking for something very specific and will disregard all until she finds it, that's been my experience and also in my experience, the thing these coffee daters are after is a man that will take them traveling unreasonably soon into your meeting, like there will be zero boundaries for your entire interaction with her, she'll sleep with you immediately after the date, love bomb you and do whatever for 2 weeks until its time to "Go", that being travel.

The travelers have you pegged within 5 minutes, might even have a friend outside to report to her what your driving N what not.

I always respond with "I'm not taking you travelling" when I get the offer due a coffee date online, a woman I already know is a bit different maybe she just wants to catch up.

 

[Bigpapa]

I'm a 52yo guy, in great shape, most people say I look 45. Step 1 - Saturday: I chatted up a hotty at a cafe - she is mid to late 30s. She gave me her number. I asked her out the next day. She agreed. Despite being great weather she made it clear she wanted to meet in a cafe not walk in the beautiful park we have here.

Step 2: Sunday - great cafe date. 1.5 hours. She hugged me at the end and said she wanted to see me again and looked excited.

Step 3: Monday - probably a rookie move. I just texted "Great to meet you yesterday". No response from her.

Step 4: Wednesday - I texted suggesting a walk on the beach or dinner on Saturday. I joked about giving her completely diverse options. No response.

How can a woman go from 100% interested to 0% ghosting me just from Monday's text?

Thanks

First of all coming here and looking for answers is not ideal, as most posters have little to no experience in dating. It is like asking a toddler to perform heart surgery

Second of all, as a summary you looked like a guy that has no clue what he is doing, especially since you are quite a mature guy and women expect you to be very experienced in all matter of life stuff ( including seduction, relationship and sex )

Let’s start with the very beginning

1. You approached her and she was like “ this guy has the balls the approach a woman he likes” - you scored points

2. You proposed her to go walk in the park, which is a rookie mistake but she was still curious to see what you gonna do so she agreed to a coffee date. She agreed to the coffee date because it was still more or less at the same time as you would have went to the park. Strike 1

3. The date came, you did not escalate at all. Most likely no sexual vibe at all. Even though she really liked you l, you disappointed her again as again you looked like a guy that does not get it. Why else would she agree to see you since you were quite blunt in you being interested in her? She gave you the opportunity to make a move . Strike 2

4. You waited for a day to send her a
was nice to meet you text. From her perspective you looked like a guy that has no idea what he is doing, or like a guy that is playing games or like a guy that is not interested. Why else would you wait for a day to send her a text like that? Strike 3

Women after high school are not children anymore, so treat them as such. Don’t beat it by the bush

You did not really do anything plainly wrong, just that you had 3 consecutive strikes and she sent you off

Read the whole article, maybe it will help you

Study: Women Know You're Attracted to Them by Scent

Women can sense a man’s interest levels from his odor. A girl who smells interest ‘wakes up’ out of autopilot – and must decide if she likes him back too. Approach enough girls and it becomes pretty obvious that women can kind of tell when you genuinely want them versus when you’re just phoning...

www.girlschase.com

 

[Xman]

It sounds like you were playing your cards okay and to be honest there is no magic combination or line to say. You already know what to do. Just ask her out another day while you keep adding a few new lines in the water waiting for one to bite.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Need to sexualize before the date and kino during it.

The apparent enthusiasm at the end of the date could've been bait to see if you invite her out for a night on the town (dinner, theater, event, museum, etc).

 

[nzrod]

And how do you stack up in comparison?

She wants her best option, and all of these things make her the pinnacle of "desirable" in her head.

Im am an amateur body builder, look young for my age, great professional job, healthy living and millionaire.

 

[nzrod]

First of all coming here and looking for answers is not ideal....

You did not really do anything plainly wrong, just that you had 3 consecutive strikes and she sent you off

Thanks mate. Appreciated. Why is a walk in the park a rookie move? It is physical and there are lots of areas with people around and also some quieter romantic areas that would be perfect if things escalated (Im talking to level 1, not all the way of course!). Sitting in a cafe isnt exciting, romantic or physical in any way.

 

[Gamisch]

She was never interested in the first place. Just accept that fact and move on.


You CAN'T be 52 and not be aware of a woman displaying lukewarm interest at best. You can project your own beliefs and fantasies about her or women in general all you want, it won ever change REALITY.

Thanks mate. Appreciated. Why is a walk in the park a rookie move? It is physical and there are lots of areas with people around and also some quieter romantic areas that would be perfect if things escalated (Im talking to level 1, not all the way of course!). Sitting in a cafe isnt exciting, romantic or physical in any way.

Because they are not us.

Of You rally area millionaire why didn't you "just" took her out for dinner te good place?

That's what women want. To be wined and dined. So again ,rookie mistake.

More men must accept that women actually don't like us..that much...unless you provide SIGNIFICANT value .

 

[Scaramouche]

Hi N.Z.Rod,
Taiyuu has it right when he says," It's easy to misunderstand politeness for attraction."......Kiwi Women are extremely polite,just like the Provincial English Woman,but as with their British Sisters the Academics are a cold,self serving breed,a culture vulture and unmarried Mother to boot!....You drew a full on mysere hand!

 

[Bigpapa]

Thanks mate. Appreciated. Why is a walk in the park a rookie move? It is physical and there are lots of areas with people around and also some quieter romantic areas that would be perfect if things escalated (Im talking to level 1, not all the way of course!). Sitting in a cafe isnt exciting, romantic or physical in any way.

from a woman perspective it is looked as no effort and cheap

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Im am an amateur body builder, look young for my age, great professional job, healthy living and millionaire.

And you ask her out on a coffee date?

Let me guess, you didn't want her to know you're a millionaire?

 

[pipeman84]

from a woman gold-digger perspective it is looked as no effort and cheap

There, I fixed the misspelling.
I like seeing teen couples strolling through the park or sitting on a bench, sometimes for hours. That's what enjoying being in each-other presence and love is all about.
You can't buy genuine attraction and it's foolish to spend money on a woman you just met as if she was your wife.

 

[Bigpapa]

There, I fixed the misspelling.
I like seeing teen couples strolling through the park or sitting on a bench, sometimes for hours. That's what enjoying being in each-other presence and love is all about.
You can't buy genuine attraction and it's foolish to spend money on a woman you just met as if she was your wife.

Yes, teens

It is a big difference between teens and adults

Mainly because teens do not really have money at all so if they want to hang out they need to find a place where it does not cost them
Anything to hang out

 

[obelisk]

So he should have asked her to dinner as their first meetup vs a coffee date?

 

[Bigpapa]

So he should have asked her to dinner as their first meetup vs a coffee date?

It depends on how hooked the girl is

If she is hooked you can grab a drink at a fancy bar and do the moves in order to bring her home

If she is not that hooked or you did not really talked that much, a coffee date is great idea. A good cafe has a very Parisian vibe which means that basically you sit next to each other and you can escalate easily

The worst possible idea for a first date is going to a park ( especially if you are post university ), as it either puts the idea that you do not really care to put an act or that you are clueless. Also for a woman is strange going out with a guy, as she wants to get to know him, look at him, etc . This is difficult to do if you walk in the park and sit side by side. Plus you ask a lot of effort from her end, to walk through the park. Why she should put a lot of effort for some guy that she does not know and is not in some sort of relationship with?

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

So he should have asked her to dinner as their first meetup vs a coffee date?

No, of course not. What's wrong with having drinks at some snooty jazz club?

 

[obelisk]

Thanks you both. Clarifies things for me.

 

[Gamisch]

It depends on how hooked the girl is

If she is hooked you can grab a drink at a fancy bar and do the moves in order to bring her home

If she is not that hooked or you did not really talked that much, a coffee date is great idea. A good cafe has a very Parisian vibe which means that basically you sit next to each other and you can escalate easily

The worst possible idea for a first date is going to a park ( especially if you are post university ), as it either puts the idea that you do not really care to put an act or that you are clueless. Also for a woman is strange going out with a guy, as she wants to get to know him, look at him, etc . This is difficult to do if you walk in the park and sit side by side. Plus you ask a lot of effort from her end, to walk through the park. Why she should put a lot of effort for some guy that she does not know and is not in some sort of relationship with?

This.

Add to that the fact that women (like the OP described) can and will date with abundance.

Lets just say that even cheap ol' Gamisch is willing to spend 20 bucks on a woman at any given moment...20/25 bucks =4/6 drinks IF you're smart about it.

The walk in the park can be done AFTER you pulled the fish into the net.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

The thing is, there's nothing wrong with having an espresso, but not many men can sexually escalate during a coffee date.

If you're a skilled conversationalist, you can arouse the slvt in any woman, but you cannot reach congruency in a forced way, you have to live and breathe sexuality in a way that makes her see you as a conquest, not the other way around.

 

[Bigpapa]

This.

Add to that the fact that women (like the OP described) can and will date with abundance.

Lets just say that even cheap ol' Gamisch is willing to spend 20 bucks on a woman at any given moment...20/25 bucks =4/6 drinks IF you're smart about it.

The walk in the park can be done AFTER you pulled the fish into the net.

Yeah, exactly you can go to the park after if you really want to or just go somewhere else

If you do not have 100-200 euros per month to spend with women, this means that you have bigger problems than women

 

[Stoic]

Quick thoughts

great job in asking her out.

it usually is a good idea to flirt leading up to the date and then adding physical touch during the date. Coffee date can be hard to make that happen. You don’t need to be a horn dog but she needs to at least see you as a masculine, sexualized creature.

next, no double texting. Her phone wasn’t broken. She just wasn’t that interested. My guess is that you came off as too wanting on the date. Pursue multiple prospects at once and you won’t give off any needy vibe.. A woman should be in the peripheral and not out central interest.

you are an in shape millionaire. You’ve got some value in the sexual marketplace. Now just develop the game by pursuing multiple prospects and spinning plates.