What do you make of this?

nzrod

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I'm a 52yo guy, in great shape, most people say I look 45. Step 1 - Saturday: I chatted up a hotty at a cafe - she is mid to late 30s. She gave me her number. I asked her out the next day. She agreed. Despite being great weather she made it clear she wanted to meet in a cafe not walk in the beautiful park we have here.

Step 2: Sunday - great cafe date. 1.5 hours. She hugged me at the end and said she wanted to see me again and looked excited.

Step 3: Monday - probably a rookie move. I just texted "Great to meet you yesterday". No response from her.

Step 4: Wednesday - I texted suggesting a walk on the beach or dinner on Saturday. I joked about giving her completely diverse options. No response.

How can a woman go from 100% interested to 0% ghosting me just from Monday's text?

Thanks
 

ThisIsSparta

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I'm a 52yo guy, in great shape, most people say I look 45. Step 1 - Saturday: I chatted up a hotty at a cafe - she is mid to late 30s. She gave me her number. I asked her out the next day. She agreed. Despite being great weather she made it clear she wanted to meet in a cafe not walk in the beautiful park we have here.

Step 2: Sunday - great cafe date. 1.5 hours. She hugged me at the end and said she wanted to see me again and looked excited.

Step 3: Monday - probably a rookie move. I just texted "Great to meet you yesterday". No response from her.

Step 4: Wednesday - I texted suggesting a walk on the beach or dinner on Saturday. I joked about giving her completely diverse options. No response.

How can a woman go from 100% interested to 0% ghosting me just from Monday's text?

Thanks
To much interest from your side. You literaly made her the focus of your life from the start.
Like you have been waiting just for her to step into your life and have nothing else going on on your weekend(s).


This or you talked yourself out of her pvssy on Sunday.
 

pipeman84

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Step 2: Sunday - great cafe date. 1.5 hours. She hugged me at the end and said she wanted to see me again and looked excited.
How can a woman go from 100% interested to 0% ghosting me just from Monday's text?
On one hand, this is your subjective interpretation, in reality it could've been just the opposite for her and she just put on a nice, polite front.
On the other hand, mid to late 30s woman who gets chatted up by a stranger in a cafe ... most probably she isn't that high quality to begin with and her age indicates a lot of baggage so can't expect logical behavior from her.
 

obelisk

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You either talked yourself out of ***** on Sunday or she met someone more interesting (hence the lack of response from Monday onwards). Do NOT text this chick again.

If she reaches back out, do not give her multiple options like you offered on Wednesday (came across as needy). Push towards a meetup (dinner at your place) where it's clear sex is on the table and the intention.
 

Ricky

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I dont know guys. I was PUA back in the day and i know its great to escalate early but back then traditional thought in society among non PUAs was a 3 date rule for sex. many times i got it on the first date but some women preferred to make men wait.

He maybe should have went for a kiss close. if that went well then it could have escalated or at at least built up some

women have shorter attention spans than they did in 2005. men do too. She is probably getting lots of low quality online attention so the fact he met her from in person conversation was good.

if i were to text her again at all id say “there is this new place i want to check out. Lets go on (insert day).”

someone also had a thread about creating some mystery on where you want to take a woman one time. So you could keep the new place secretive until the day of…
 

nzrod

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On one hand, this is your subjective interpretation, in reality it could've been just the opposite for her and she just put on a nice, polite front.
On the other hand, mid to late 30s woman who gets chatted up by a stranger in a cafe ... most probably she isn't that high quality to begin with and her age indicates a lot of baggage so can't expect logical behavior from her.
On the quality side she is a professional project manager and concert opera singer with 2 degrees, and very fit and attractive. On the negative side she has two sons (fine of course in itself) from 2 different guys by age 36.
 

nzrod

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You either talked yourself out of ***** on Sunday or she met someone more interesting (hence the lack of response from Monday onwards). Do NOT text this chick again.

If she reaches back out, do not give her multiple options like you offered on Wednesday (came across as needy). Push towards a meetup (dinner at your place) where it's clear sex is on the table and the intention.
Good advice.
 

FlirtLife

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Step 3: Monday - probably a rookie move. I just texted "Great to meet you yesterday". No response from her.

Step 4: Wednesday - I texted suggesting a walk on the beach or dinner on Saturday. I joked about giving her completely diverse options. No response.

How can a woman go from 100% interested to 0% ghosting me just from Monday's text?
I'll assume you want to get better at dating - others can explain escalation and hitting on women. On Wednesday you wanted to get together again - why didn't you say that Monday? The mistake I see is leaving her hanging on Monday, at which point she saw no future committment to her, and figured you had written her off. Why text "hello" with no interest in future plans?

Next time I'd combine your Mon & Wed texts. You had a great time, and you want to see her again. She may still ghost you - but she will at least know you're interested Monday, and not blowing her off.
 

nzrod

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I dont know guys. I was PUA back in the day and i know its great to escalate early but back then traditional thought in society among non PUAs was a 3 date rule for sex. many times i got it on the first date but some women preferred to make men wait.

He maybe should have went for a kiss close. if that went well then it could have escalated or at at least built up some

women have shorter attention spans than they did in 2005. men do too. She is probably getting lots of low quality online attention so the fact he met her from in person conversation was good.

if i were to text her again at all id say “there is this new place i want to check out. Lets go on (insert day).”

someone also had a thread about creating some mystery on where you want to take a woman one time. So you could keep the new place secretive until the day of…
Solid response
 

nzrod

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I'll assume you want to get better at dating - others can explain escalation and hitting on women. On Wednesday you wanted to get together again - why didn't you say that Monday? The mistake I see is leaving her hanging on Monday, at which point she saw no future committment to her, and figured you had written her off. Why text "hello" with no interest in future plans?

Next time I'd combine your Mon & Wed texts. You had a great time, and you want to see her again. She may still ghost you - but she will at least know you're interested Monday, and not blowing her off.
Very fair
 

LTG71

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You probably fed her ego with the attention and validation she was lacking. Now she has moved on to someone or something else. Your messages are fine. A bit ridiculous to have to play these kind of games to have basic communication with someone. Coffee shop date was a safe location to deter any kind of escalation. Out in a park with a stranger could lead to an episode on Dateline. The 20 year age gap doesn’t help either. You’re the creepy old dude by default unless you have something she is really after, like money you want to hand over because she’s cute.
 

SW15

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mid to late 30s woman
To a 52 year old man, a 34-39 year old woman is very desirable.

On the quality side she is a professional project manager and concert opera singer with 2 degrees, and very fit and attractive. On the negative side she has two sons (fine of course in itself) from 2 different guys by age 36.
Being both a single mom and a woman with advanced degrees are 2 negatives.
 

pipeman84

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On the quality side she is a professional project manager and concert opera singer with 2 degrees, and very fit and attractive. On the negative side she has two sons (fine of course in itself) from 2 different guys by age 36.
I get the distinct impression from OP and this post that you've put her on a pedestal and she sensed it. That she's a project manager and opera singer doesn't mean shyt from a male - female interaction perspective. All that matters is that she's a single mom with 2 kids from 2 different fathers. You should be glad she ghosted you, why would you want to invite into your life that mess? :rolleyes:
 

Dr.Suave

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Op dodged a bullet
 

Modern Man Advice

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Most people, and especially women, avoid confrontation like it's the plague. A lot of times, instead of saying no they'll just go along. This is especially true when getting numbers if you use the cold approach method.

I think she was somewhat interested the first time which is why she agreed, but most likely made up her mind about you during the first date and instead of saying "I'm not feeling a 'spark'" she just said said "looking forward to next time". And her sense of you probably solidified more so if you sent that text the next day. Annnnnnnd even more so if she met another dude or a dude that she had already been talking to moved faster.

This is a great lesson for you, as you learn to calibrate your game.
 

henrymiller50

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I don't think this one is too complex. Pretty simple. I don't believe you did anything wrong. First time you met and got her number she was genuinely interested. She would have never gave you the digits if she wasn't interested. She's definitely interested at this point. You agree to meet. She's still very interested or no chance she is going to waste her time meeting up.

You meet and chat at the café. During that conversation, something made her lose interest in you. There was some deal-breaker for her. And of course, she is not going to tell you what it was. Could be something totally unrelated to your looks and personality. Maybe she finds out you have a dog, and she doesn't like dogs. Since she has kids, maybe she's searching for some certain type of guy and you're not it. Maybe she doesn't like your laugh. Who knows. You get my point. 100s of reasons unrelated to your game or looks that could have been the dealbreaker. But during that café chat she decided not to continue with you. Doesn't matter what or when you texted after that, she had already lost interest. Sometimes it happens to the best of us. Move on.
 
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