"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
what do you guys do raise self esteem?
- Thread starter garruk
- Start date
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
I think it's essential to have something in your life that does that for you. My creative time is mine and nobody else's. It transcends everything else, even sex. It's a mental place I can go to get away from it all and feel at peace, no matter what. It's the ultimate stress reliever.
Another way is for me to remind myself that the negative feelings are unreasonable. I'm every bit as worthy as anybody else. Simple as that. Don't put the rest of the world on a pedestal. Most people are at least as messed up as you. At least you have the self-awareness to know that you need to improve something about yourself, and the courage to try.
You have to be your own best friend, your own biggest supporter. No one else will step up to take the job, and even if they did, their efforts would be worthless without you believing it.
Maxtro
Master Don Juan
I went to a PU seminar a couple days ago and the speaker told the audience to fallow their passions. The problem is that I don't have any. There is nothing I love doing. Only things I do so I don't get too bored. Also if something is difficult, I have little motivation to keep trying.
Scars
Master Don Juan
I hope I at least inspired a few people.
Good luck.
-Scars
Young Juan
Senior Don Juan
Second, Bump my Theme Song - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NjqZLucs0t4
I read good books and reflect/relate them to my life, play poker, rap, play ball (pick one), work out, go swimming, do my job, clean my apartment/make it look pimp, beat noobs at ps3 online, go to the driving range, go to the batting cages, reminisce on past successes and glory, etc.
I may not be the best at any of these things but I just work on making ANY incremental improvement and reward myself for it.
Thinking further about, I like to conquer **** too. I recently started hiking up large/challenging non-deadly mountains. I used to think I had to rush to the top of it, or get pooped halfway up and go back down. My boy pointed out that everybody gets tired, its what you do after that counts. So the next time I hiked till I got tired, rested for 30 mins, then continued up the mountain. Once I conquered that mountain, it became a goal to conquer the other major hiking mountains in my city.
My main method is competing against challenges/challengers for the most part.
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
I feel the same way. It's not like I don't try new things either.. every few months I'll try and pick up a new hobby/interest but it just doesn't seem to stick. I mean I'll see it through but I don't feel passionate about it. The only thing that I've been consistent with in my life is working out... but that's not a hobby - I consider it to be as essential as eating/sleeping.Maxtro said:
Ho hum... what to do..
SteR said:
i spent a long time looking for my passion too. i tried a BUNCH of **** for a good 2-3 years. skateboarding, sailing, mountainboarding, surfing, cooking, baking, windsurfing, etc etc etc.
my best advice is to just do WHATEVER you want. your passion will surface on its own. usually your passion is somehting you ahve a knack for.
today, i love playing golf and i love mixed martial arts.
lorekeeper
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Nov 17, 2009
- Messages
- 252
- Reaction score
- 4
- Age
- 47
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
perseverance
Guest
Camping, hiking, abseiling, waterskiing, rock climbing, that type of stuff.
I love nothing more than getting in my car, driving to the coast and spending the day walking along the cliff face until I find a near by fish and chip shop or a small, quaint public house for a pint of beer.
I also hit the gym four times a week.
I find walking/hiking for hours upon hours, miles upon miles very relaxing, it is these passions of mine which help me keep a good level of self esteem, not too mention fitness.
Scars
Master Don Juan
I would, but if the name got out it would be fairly easy to identify who I am. I try and keep my personal information as far away from this website as I possibly can. On top of that, I don't want my designs ripped off or ideas stolen (not necessarily by YOU, but you know how people can be these days.) It's kind of a local thing. A lot of my buddies and I wear it. It's gaining quick popularity though, and I've just recently made it available on the internet.garruk said:
If you want, I can help you start one. Or if you have any other business ideas. I'm pretty good about making websites, and I know a good deal about marketing strategies. If you ever needed help with that. I pretty much make all my designs in photoshop or illustrator. Then I get them printed by a shop in bulk quantities and then just use my magic to sell them. It's also great social proof when you go to events and you are handing out fliers or trying to sell something. A great way to pick up girls.
Scars said:
hmm that is really cool and i totally understand. there are plenty of people i know in real life that I would not want reading my sosuave posts. lol.
i apprciate the offer too, but i dont know if i have the right personality to start a tshirt company lol. while i do think im somewhat outgoing im not sure if i have the "persuasive vibe" needed. I will definately keep your offer in mind though as you definately seem to have some pretty good attributes that just make you a good connection to have.
cheers man.
Huffman
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 29, 2007
- Messages
- 1,499
- Reaction score
- 166
For example after a good training session I feel super awesome and people even give me curious looks when I'm walking home. But I can't really take advantage of it because I'm not meeting girls straight after training etc.
And sometimes that self-esteem is just completely vaporized and I can't do jack around other people. I can pull myself together and prevent the worst, but I'm not into it at all.
I wish I could summon it whenever I want, because I get it mostly when I can't use it
I have the exact same thing. When I walk home from the gym I feel super powerful and people look at me in that particular way I wish they look all the time. The rush...I need to find a way to summon the rush...Huffman said:I feel that the really powerful self-esteem only comes for a short while. It soars through the roof but then hits rock bottom the next day.
For example after a good training session I feel super awesome and people even give me curious looks when I'm walking home. But I can't really take advantage of it because I'm not meeting girls straight after training etc.
And sometimes that self-esteem is just completely vaporized and I can't do jack around other people. I can pull myself together and prevent the worst, but I'm not into it at all.
I wish I could summon it whenever I want, because I get it mostly when I can't use it
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
todays_news
Don Juan
- Joined
- Mar 10, 2010
- Messages
- 152
- Reaction score
- 4
Go to the gym
Have a night with friends, nothing major just beers and a film/ sport on tv.
Get a haircut
Buy some new clothes
I find that the last two help me to feel more confident in my appearance, and that condenses into a degree of self esteem when I'm out. Whereas the second one helps me to realise I have a lot to feel good about. A confident esteemed man, is far more attractive to women than anything I believe.
Maxtro
Master Don Juan
What's more valuable than pussy?Galactus said:
I know the mindset is terrible, but nothing makes me feel better then spending time with a girl. Even if I don't get laid, just being alone with a girl makes me feel, like a man.
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.