Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
I feel the same way. It's not like I don't try new things either.. every few months I'll try and pick up a new hobby/interest but it just doesn't seem to stick. I mean I'll see it through but I don't feel passionate about it. The only thing that I've been consistent with in my life is working out... but that's not a hobby - I consider it to be as essential as eating/sleeping.Maxtro said:I really wish I had something.
I went to a PU seminar a couple days ago and the speaker told the audience to fallow their passions. The problem is that I don't have any. There is nothing I love doing. Only things I do so I don't get too bored. Also if something is difficult, I have little motivation to keep trying.
SteR said:I feel the same way. It's not like I don't try new things either.. every few months I'll try and pick up a new hobby/interest but it just doesn't seem to stick. I mean I'll see it through but I don't feel passionate about it. The only thing that I've been consistent with in my life is working out... but that's not a hobby - I consider it to be as essential as eating/sleeping.
Ho hum... what to do..
can i see your clothing line? i really like the idea of just keep busy and stuff and using accoomplishments.Scars said:I play bass and guitar. I have my own clothing line. I also put a lot of time into my work, but it's something I am also proud of. I'm also a promoter. People usually hit me up to spread the word about their birthday parties, shows, or other events. I have a large network which I take pride in. I go to the gym. Overall I just try to keep as many projects going as I possibly can. It keeps me from getting bored, it also makes me prideful because I have this "look what I made!" syndrome. I think if you keep focusing on yourself and your own happiness you can't go wrong. Just keep looking to find the niche, something that keeps you happy or just naturally good at. Even if you aren't a natural, work on it. Nobody gets anywhere without putting a little work into it. You have to see things through to the end. I used to have a bad problem of starting projects I couldn't finish. It was something I had to overcome. If you have a vision, take it as far as you can go. Make it a reality. This is the DJ mentality.
I hope I at least inspired a few people.
Good luck.
-Scars
Yea I've been doing this myself for the last couple of years. It just feels a little weird sometimes that so many people I know have one thing they're really passionate about.. and yet I don'tgarruk said:i spent a long time looking for my passion too. i tried a BUNCH of **** for a good 2-3 years. skateboarding, sailing, mountainboarding, surfing, cooking, baking, windsurfing, etc etc etc.
my best advice is to just do WHATEVER you want. your passion will surface on its own. usually your passion is somehting you ahve a knack for.
today, i love playing golf and i love mixed martial arts.
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
I would, but if the name got out it would be fairly easy to identify who I am. I try and keep my personal information as far away from this website as I possibly can. On top of that, I don't want my designs ripped off or ideas stolen (not necessarily by YOU, but you know how people can be these days.) It's kind of a local thing. A lot of my buddies and I wear it. It's gaining quick popularity though, and I've just recently made it available on the internet.garruk said:can i see your clothing line? i really like the idea of just keep busy and stuff and using accoomplishments.
Scars said:I would, but if the name got out it would be fairly easy to identify who I am. I try and keep my personal information as far away from this website as I possibly can. On top of that, I don't want my designs ripped off or ideas stolen (not necessarily by YOU, but you know how people can be these days.) It's kind of a local thing. A lot of my buddies and I wear it. It's gaining quick popularity though, and I've just recently made it available on the internet.
If you want, I can help you start one. Or if you have any other business ideas. I'm pretty good about making websites, and I know a good deal about marketing strategies. If you ever needed help with that. I pretty much make all my designs in photoshop or illustrator. Then I get them printed by a shop in bulk quantities and then just use my magic to sell them. It's also great social proof when you go to events and you are handing out fliers or trying to sell something. A great way to pick up girls.
I have the exact same thing. When I walk home from the gym I feel super powerful and people look at me in that particular way I wish they look all the time. The rush...I need to find a way to summon the rush...Huffman said:I feel that the really powerful self-esteem only comes for a short while. It soars through the roof but then hits rock bottom the next day.
For example after a good training session I feel super awesome and people even give me curious looks when I'm walking home. But I can't really take advantage of it because I'm not meeting girls straight after training etc.
And sometimes that self-esteem is just completely vaporized and I can't do jack around other people. I can pull myself together and prevent the worst, but I'm not into it at all.
I wish I could summon it whenever I want, because I get it mostly when I can't use it![]()
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
What's more valuable than pussy?Galactus said:I totally disagree with that, Ease. That all depends on how much of your self-worth is wrapped up in getting laid. For awhile there, I was doing fantastic in that regard, and I plan to be there again, but I believe true self-esteem comes from knowing you're contributing something of value to the world. Something besides your ego and your wang.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.