That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
I feel the same way. It's not like I don't try new things either.. every few months I'll try and pick up a new hobby/interest but it just doesn't seem to stick. I mean I'll see it through but I don't feel passionate about it. The only thing that I've been consistent with in my life is working out... but that's not a hobby - I consider it to be as essential as eating/sleeping.Maxtro said:I really wish I had something.
I went to a PU seminar a couple days ago and the speaker told the audience to fallow their passions. The problem is that I don't have any. There is nothing I love doing. Only things I do so I don't get too bored. Also if something is difficult, I have little motivation to keep trying.
SteR said:I feel the same way. It's not like I don't try new things either.. every few months I'll try and pick up a new hobby/interest but it just doesn't seem to stick. I mean I'll see it through but I don't feel passionate about it. The only thing that I've been consistent with in my life is working out... but that's not a hobby - I consider it to be as essential as eating/sleeping.
Ho hum... what to do..
can i see your clothing line? i really like the idea of just keep busy and stuff and using accoomplishments.Scars said:I play bass and guitar. I have my own clothing line. I also put a lot of time into my work, but it's something I am also proud of. I'm also a promoter. People usually hit me up to spread the word about their birthday parties, shows, or other events. I have a large network which I take pride in. I go to the gym. Overall I just try to keep as many projects going as I possibly can. It keeps me from getting bored, it also makes me prideful because I have this "look what I made!" syndrome. I think if you keep focusing on yourself and your own happiness you can't go wrong. Just keep looking to find the niche, something that keeps you happy or just naturally good at. Even if you aren't a natural, work on it. Nobody gets anywhere without putting a little work into it. You have to see things through to the end. I used to have a bad problem of starting projects I couldn't finish. It was something I had to overcome. If you have a vision, take it as far as you can go. Make it a reality. This is the DJ mentality.
I hope I at least inspired a few people.
Good luck.
-Scars
Yea I've been doing this myself for the last couple of years. It just feels a little weird sometimes that so many people I know have one thing they're really passionate about.. and yet I don'tgarruk said:i spent a long time looking for my passion too. i tried a BUNCH of **** for a good 2-3 years. skateboarding, sailing, mountainboarding, surfing, cooking, baking, windsurfing, etc etc etc.
my best advice is to just do WHATEVER you want. your passion will surface on its own. usually your passion is somehting you ahve a knack for.
today, i love playing golf and i love mixed martial arts.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
I would, but if the name got out it would be fairly easy to identify who I am. I try and keep my personal information as far away from this website as I possibly can. On top of that, I don't want my designs ripped off or ideas stolen (not necessarily by YOU, but you know how people can be these days.) It's kind of a local thing. A lot of my buddies and I wear it. It's gaining quick popularity though, and I've just recently made it available on the internet.garruk said:can i see your clothing line? i really like the idea of just keep busy and stuff and using accoomplishments.
Scars said:I would, but if the name got out it would be fairly easy to identify who I am. I try and keep my personal information as far away from this website as I possibly can. On top of that, I don't want my designs ripped off or ideas stolen (not necessarily by YOU, but you know how people can be these days.) It's kind of a local thing. A lot of my buddies and I wear it. It's gaining quick popularity though, and I've just recently made it available on the internet.
If you want, I can help you start one. Or if you have any other business ideas. I'm pretty good about making websites, and I know a good deal about marketing strategies. If you ever needed help with that. I pretty much make all my designs in photoshop or illustrator. Then I get them printed by a shop in bulk quantities and then just use my magic to sell them. It's also great social proof when you go to events and you are handing out fliers or trying to sell something. A great way to pick up girls.
I have the exact same thing. When I walk home from the gym I feel super powerful and people look at me in that particular way I wish they look all the time. The rush...I need to find a way to summon the rush...Huffman said:I feel that the really powerful self-esteem only comes for a short while. It soars through the roof but then hits rock bottom the next day.
For example after a good training session I feel super awesome and people even give me curious looks when I'm walking home. But I can't really take advantage of it because I'm not meeting girls straight after training etc.
And sometimes that self-esteem is just completely vaporized and I can't do jack around other people. I can pull myself together and prevent the worst, but I'm not into it at all.
I wish I could summon it whenever I want, because I get it mostly when I can't use it![]()
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
What's more valuable than pussy?Galactus said:I totally disagree with that, Ease. That all depends on how much of your self-worth is wrapped up in getting laid. For awhile there, I was doing fantastic in that regard, and I plan to be there again, but I believe true self-esteem comes from knowing you're contributing something of value to the world. Something besides your ego and your wang.
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.