"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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what do you guys do raise self esteem?

garruk

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just throw out some things you do.

i go to the gym
try to experience new things by traveling as much as i can.


etc
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Galactus

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I do things I'm good at. Art, for instance. It's impossible to wound my ego where that is concerned. I am not in competition with anyone, I just do it because I love it, and if other people don't like it, I absolutely do not care.

I think it's essential to have something in your life that does that for you. My creative time is mine and nobody else's. It transcends everything else, even sex. It's a mental place I can go to get away from it all and feel at peace, no matter what. It's the ultimate stress reliever.

Another way is for me to remind myself that the negative feelings are unreasonable. I'm every bit as worthy as anybody else. Simple as that. Don't put the rest of the world on a pedestal. Most people are at least as messed up as you. At least you have the self-awareness to know that you need to improve something about yourself, and the courage to try.

You have to be your own best friend, your own biggest supporter. No one else will step up to take the job, and even if they did, their efforts would be worthless without you believing it.
 

Maxtro

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I really wish I had something.

I went to a PU seminar a couple days ago and the speaker told the audience to fallow their passions. The problem is that I don't have any. There is nothing I love doing. Only things I do so I don't get too bored. Also if something is difficult, I have little motivation to keep trying.
 

Scars

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I play bass and guitar. I have my own clothing line. I also put a lot of time into my work, but it's something I am also proud of. I'm also a promoter. People usually hit me up to spread the word about their birthday parties, shows, or other events. I have a large network which I take pride in. I go to the gym. Overall I just try to keep as many projects going as I possibly can. It keeps me from getting bored, it also makes me prideful because I have this "look what I made!" syndrome. I think if you keep focusing on yourself and your own happiness you can't go wrong. Just keep looking to find the niche, something that keeps you happy or just naturally good at. Even if you aren't a natural, work on it. Nobody gets anywhere without putting a little work into it. You have to see things through to the end. I used to have a bad problem of starting projects I couldn't finish. It was something I had to overcome. If you have a vision, take it as far as you can go. Make it a reality. This is the DJ mentality.

I hope I at least inspired a few people.

Good luck.

-Scars
 

Young Juan

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First Off - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZ25o7iYZ50

Second, Bump my Theme Song - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NjqZLucs0t4

I read good books and reflect/relate them to my life, play poker, rap, play ball (pick one), work out, go swimming, do my job, clean my apartment/make it look pimp, beat noobs at ps3 online, go to the driving range, go to the batting cages, reminisce on past successes and glory, etc.

I may not be the best at any of these things but I just work on making ANY incremental improvement and reward myself for it.

Thinking further about, I like to conquer **** too. I recently started hiking up large/challenging non-deadly mountains. I used to think I had to rush to the top of it, or get pooped halfway up and go back down. My boy pointed out that everybody gets tired, its what you do after that counts. So the next time I hiked till I got tired, rested for 30 mins, then continued up the mountain. Once I conquered that mountain, it became a goal to conquer the other major hiking mountains in my city.

My main method is competing against challenges/challengers for the most part.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

SteR

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Maxtro said:
I really wish I had something.

I went to a PU seminar a couple days ago and the speaker told the audience to fallow their passions. The problem is that I don't have any. There is nothing I love doing. Only things I do so I don't get too bored. Also if something is difficult, I have little motivation to keep trying.
I feel the same way. It's not like I don't try new things either.. every few months I'll try and pick up a new hobby/interest but it just doesn't seem to stick. I mean I'll see it through but I don't feel passionate about it. The only thing that I've been consistent with in my life is working out... but that's not a hobby - I consider it to be as essential as eating/sleeping.

Ho hum... what to do..
 

garruk

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SteR said:
I feel the same way. It's not like I don't try new things either.. every few months I'll try and pick up a new hobby/interest but it just doesn't seem to stick. I mean I'll see it through but I don't feel passionate about it. The only thing that I've been consistent with in my life is working out... but that's not a hobby - I consider it to be as essential as eating/sleeping.

Ho hum... what to do..


i spent a long time looking for my passion too. i tried a BUNCH of **** for a good 2-3 years. skateboarding, sailing, mountainboarding, surfing, cooking, baking, windsurfing, etc etc etc.

my best advice is to just do WHATEVER you want. your passion will surface on its own. usually your passion is somehting you ahve a knack for.

today, i love playing golf and i love mixed martial arts.
 

garruk

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Scars said:
I play bass and guitar. I have my own clothing line. I also put a lot of time into my work, but it's something I am also proud of. I'm also a promoter. People usually hit me up to spread the word about their birthday parties, shows, or other events. I have a large network which I take pride in. I go to the gym. Overall I just try to keep as many projects going as I possibly can. It keeps me from getting bored, it also makes me prideful because I have this "look what I made!" syndrome. I think if you keep focusing on yourself and your own happiness you can't go wrong. Just keep looking to find the niche, something that keeps you happy or just naturally good at. Even if you aren't a natural, work on it. Nobody gets anywhere without putting a little work into it. You have to see things through to the end. I used to have a bad problem of starting projects I couldn't finish. It was something I had to overcome. If you have a vision, take it as far as you can go. Make it a reality. This is the DJ mentality.

I hope I at least inspired a few people.

Good luck.

-Scars
can i see your clothing line? i really like the idea of just keep busy and stuff and using accoomplishments.
 

SteR

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garruk said:
i spent a long time looking for my passion too. i tried a BUNCH of **** for a good 2-3 years. skateboarding, sailing, mountainboarding, surfing, cooking, baking, windsurfing, etc etc etc.

my best advice is to just do WHATEVER you want. your passion will surface on its own. usually your passion is somehting you ahve a knack for.

today, i love playing golf and i love mixed martial arts.
Yea I've been doing this myself for the last couple of years. It just feels a little weird sometimes that so many people I know have one thing they're really passionate about.. and yet I don't :confused:
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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P

perseverance

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I like outdoor activities.

Camping, hiking, abseiling, waterskiing, rock climbing, that type of stuff.

I love nothing more than getting in my car, driving to the coast and spending the day walking along the cliff face until I find a near by fish and chip shop or a small, quaint public house for a pint of beer.

I also hit the gym four times a week.

I find walking/hiking for hours upon hours, miles upon miles very relaxing, it is these passions of mine which help me keep a good level of self esteem, not too mention fitness.
 

Scars

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garruk said:
can i see your clothing line? i really like the idea of just keep busy and stuff and using accoomplishments.
I would, but if the name got out it would be fairly easy to identify who I am. I try and keep my personal information as far away from this website as I possibly can. On top of that, I don't want my designs ripped off or ideas stolen (not necessarily by YOU, but you know how people can be these days.) It's kind of a local thing. A lot of my buddies and I wear it. It's gaining quick popularity though, and I've just recently made it available on the internet.

If you want, I can help you start one. Or if you have any other business ideas. I'm pretty good about making websites, and I know a good deal about marketing strategies. If you ever needed help with that. I pretty much make all my designs in photoshop or illustrator. Then I get them printed by a shop in bulk quantities and then just use my magic to sell them. It's also great social proof when you go to events and you are handing out fliers or trying to sell something. A great way to pick up girls.
 

garruk

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Scars said:
I would, but if the name got out it would be fairly easy to identify who I am. I try and keep my personal information as far away from this website as I possibly can. On top of that, I don't want my designs ripped off or ideas stolen (not necessarily by YOU, but you know how people can be these days.) It's kind of a local thing. A lot of my buddies and I wear it. It's gaining quick popularity though, and I've just recently made it available on the internet.

If you want, I can help you start one. Or if you have any other business ideas. I'm pretty good about making websites, and I know a good deal about marketing strategies. If you ever needed help with that. I pretty much make all my designs in photoshop or illustrator. Then I get them printed by a shop in bulk quantities and then just use my magic to sell them. It's also great social proof when you go to events and you are handing out fliers or trying to sell something. A great way to pick up girls.

hmm that is really cool and i totally understand. there are plenty of people i know in real life that I would not want reading my sosuave posts. lol.

i apprciate the offer too, but i dont know if i have the right personality to start a tshirt company lol. while i do think im somewhat outgoing im not sure if i have the "persuasive vibe" needed. I will definately keep your offer in mind though as you definately seem to have some pretty good attributes that just make you a good connection to have.

cheers man.
 

Huffman

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I feel that the really powerful self-esteem only comes for a short while. It soars through the roof but then hits rock bottom the next day.

For example after a good training session I feel super awesome and people even give me curious looks when I'm walking home. But I can't really take advantage of it because I'm not meeting girls straight after training etc.

And sometimes that self-esteem is just completely vaporized and I can't do jack around other people. I can pull myself together and prevent the worst, but I'm not into it at all.

I wish I could summon it whenever I want, because I get it mostly when I can't use it ;)
 

J. Darko

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Huffman said:
I feel that the really powerful self-esteem only comes for a short while. It soars through the roof but then hits rock bottom the next day.

For example after a good training session I feel super awesome and people even give me curious looks when I'm walking home. But I can't really take advantage of it because I'm not meeting girls straight after training etc.

And sometimes that self-esteem is just completely vaporized and I can't do jack around other people. I can pull myself together and prevent the worst, but I'm not into it at all.

I wish I could summon it whenever I want, because I get it mostly when I can't use it ;)
I have the exact same thing. When I walk home from the gym I feel super powerful and people look at me in that particular way I wish they look all the time. The rush...I need to find a way to summon the rush...
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Ease

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Say what you want, theres no bigger self esteem boost than pulling a girl.
 

todays_news

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to raise my self esteem I:

Go to the gym
Have a night with friends, nothing major just beers and a film/ sport on tv.
Get a haircut
Buy some new clothes

I find that the last two help me to feel more confident in my appearance, and that condenses into a degree of self esteem when I'm out. Whereas the second one helps me to realise I have a lot to feel good about. A confident esteemed man, is far more attractive to women than anything I believe.
 

Galactus

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I totally disagree with that, Ease. That all depends on how much of your self-worth is wrapped up in getting laid. For awhile there, I was doing fantastic in that regard, and I plan to be there again, but I believe true self-esteem comes from knowing you're contributing something of value to the world. Something besides your ego and your wang.
 

Maxtro

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Galactus said:
I totally disagree with that, Ease. That all depends on how much of your self-worth is wrapped up in getting laid. For awhile there, I was doing fantastic in that regard, and I plan to be there again, but I believe true self-esteem comes from knowing you're contributing something of value to the world. Something besides your ego and your wang.
What's more valuable than pussy?

I know the mindset is terrible, but nothing makes me feel better then spending time with a girl. Even if I don't get laid, just being alone with a girl makes me feel, like a man.
 

SteR

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I suppose it comes down to succeeding in something you want to succeed in..
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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