Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Pretty much this.Aaron B said:women want men
or at least that's what they respond to
real men, not this new-fangled pussified version of men
That's a real tough choice, man. Now I see how women feel.backbreaker said:that's like saying what do men want from women, good home made sandwiches or good blow jobs?
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
On that first point, yes. At least from my experience and girls through my life it is the young ones with the high expectations. Older ones...don't know so much. Although its not reality, they expect it thanks to the powerful force of television and fairy tales.nismo-4 said:Simple ass answer.
A guy who's youthful, super handsome, got lots of muscles and millions in the bank! But this guy hardly exists.
Women want sex as long as the man's attractive or at least rich. Other guys have to go through mazes and fight their way to it.:cuss:
Case closed.
Lots of different ones.Bible_Belt said:Feelings.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
I just have trouble with the way the world sees me. I became my own best friend over recent years- meeker and more mentally screwed up, hence the psychotherapy. I have not been with a woman on any intimate level ever, and fear rejection. At my age love doesn't blossom gradually like my parents say, it starts when a girl jumps on you and says she would shag you. That makes you 'the one'.Bible_Belt said:my outlook is that no matter how much you try it won't work... Its why I look at everything or most things in the most sombre way, and get agitated and angry, self-abusive, and everyone says I am the one who needs help.
If you're self-abusive, then yes you do need help. Denying that would be just more self-abuse. You seem to think you deserve it, but I don't.
A negative attitude is going to work against you in every human interaction, not just women, but also work, business, family, and even strangers. Life is depressing enough without your negativity dragging other people down, and that's why we are always drawn to positive people and pull away from negative people.
Another little secret about life is that most people *do* get what they want out of life, whether they realize it or not. If you can't view yourself as worthy of success or happiness, then those things are never going to happen. It's your mindset making you fail, not your lack of worth and certainly not the unfairness of the world.
* They want a man who makes them come.brady1124 said:What do they want?
True, and nothing kills their attraction like a display of insecurity. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.Bible_Belt said:A negative attitude is going to work against you in every human interaction, not just women, but also work, business, family, and even strangers.
LoLbigneil said:Him: "Do you... LIKE... me?"
Her: "Not anymore."
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.