She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Pretty much this.Aaron B said:women want men
or at least that's what they respond to
real men, not this new-fangled pussified version of men
That's a real tough choice, man. Now I see how women feel.backbreaker said:that's like saying what do men want from women, good home made sandwiches or good blow jobs?
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
On that first point, yes. At least from my experience and girls through my life it is the young ones with the high expectations. Older ones...don't know so much. Although its not reality, they expect it thanks to the powerful force of television and fairy tales.nismo-4 said:Simple ass answer.
A guy who's youthful, super handsome, got lots of muscles and millions in the bank! But this guy hardly exists.
Women want sex as long as the man's attractive or at least rich. Other guys have to go through mazes and fight their way to it.:cuss:
Case closed.
Lots of different ones.Bible_Belt said:Feelings.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
I just have trouble with the way the world sees me. I became my own best friend over recent years- meeker and more mentally screwed up, hence the psychotherapy. I have not been with a woman on any intimate level ever, and fear rejection. At my age love doesn't blossom gradually like my parents say, it starts when a girl jumps on you and says she would shag you. That makes you 'the one'.Bible_Belt said:my outlook is that no matter how much you try it won't work... Its why I look at everything or most things in the most sombre way, and get agitated and angry, self-abusive, and everyone says I am the one who needs help.
If you're self-abusive, then yes you do need help. Denying that would be just more self-abuse. You seem to think you deserve it, but I don't.
A negative attitude is going to work against you in every human interaction, not just women, but also work, business, family, and even strangers. Life is depressing enough without your negativity dragging other people down, and that's why we are always drawn to positive people and pull away from negative people.
Another little secret about life is that most people *do* get what they want out of life, whether they realize it or not. If you can't view yourself as worthy of success or happiness, then those things are never going to happen. It's your mindset making you fail, not your lack of worth and certainly not the unfairness of the world.
* They want a man who makes them come.brady1124 said:What do they want?
True, and nothing kills their attraction like a display of insecurity. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.Bible_Belt said:A negative attitude is going to work against you in every human interaction, not just women, but also work, business, family, and even strangers.
LoLbigneil said:Him: "Do you... LIKE... me?"
Her: "Not anymore."
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.