"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
What Behavior would YOU consider to be Good Game?
- Thread starter sosousage
- Start date
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Don't ask boring questions ..
Ask her if she remembers her first day of school
Ask if she could wake up anywhere tomorrow where would it be and why
Ask what would constitute a perfect day for her
Etc etc
If she says something silly ask her if her parents had any normal kids
If she offers to buy you a drink accuse her of trying to get you drunk
Play a game of tag
Pretend to push her into things
Grab her purse and hang it somewhere high
Make up funny background story's about other couples there
Challenge her to a thumb war
Basically don't take things too seriously, be playful and have fun..
Glassguy
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Why are you trying to be better than the other guys?
She should pick up on your confidence and busy life that you have and be worried about being better than the other girls. Abundance mentality.
Be fun. Be an amped up version of yourself. Abundance mentality.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
lizardking82
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Don't game. Go at it with confidence, observe your mistakes, make them better with time. That grows you.
RichardTheFrog
Banned
And what REAL THINGS is your confidence based on?
What to avoid: Trying to impress, talking too much, thinking too much, not escalating, drinking too much, talk about ex's, dating, relationships etc...
It's all pretty simple. There's nothing to game. The most important thing is whether or not you are into her. Most women are generally pretty boring, so I usually break it down into whether or not I am attracted to them physically, then to what degree can I tolerate spending time with them.
Also don't forget you are qualifying her.
zekko
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Isn't that what most of this stuff is based on? To be better than the other guys? Corey Wayne and his "3% man", he's saying he's better than 97% of other men, because he knows all this info that women respond to. All this stuff about alpha males, which is to mimic the behaviors of the top guys. All the complaints about how women only want the guy who's the top 1 in 100 or whatever. Guys here saying they should get the girl because they are awesome DJs and the average guy on the street is just a beta chump. I mean, I'm not saying I buy into it, but that seems to be what it's about.
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Glassguy
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Thats the difference in "being the better option" vs "trying to sell her on you being the better option".
Covert vs Overt. Covert will win with the woman.
You should be self improving to be the best you can be, always. You will be her best option and she will sense that.
Not coming across as a sham while trying to hustle up her interests on a date. Most women have the ability to see right through the bullshyte of a guy coming across as selling her on why he thinks he is good with woman. You dont have to say anything to make it known if you are doing the right things on a date.
zekko
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That was my point. If you are her best option that means you're "better than other guys", at least in her eyes.
taiyuu_otoko
Master Don Juan
That's a ridiculous question. That would be the same as something like:
So, before a fight, how would you guys beat the other fighter, what kind of punches would you throw?
This can only be described in the abstract, and the only to improve is to get a lot of practice with real people, and stay out of abstract-land (where it's safe but useless) as much as possible.
Me 22 she 26. my smv: no clue but generally my dating life is null,failure. her smv: higher than mine for sure. she was gorgeous from character and look.
What I did:
- yesterday i barely talked with her (so she craves the meeting more, which we agreed for day before yesterday)
- before date i told her it will be just a walking nothing less nothing more, and if theres MAGIC then it will be cool, and that I am just normal boy
- today I only asked her before date if we were meeting at 6pm (probably implied loose attitude)
- I got late 10-15 min and just mesaged her hour before that I will be late. no sorry nor anything.
- when I was going across her I didnt look around. Just at her direction and then eye contact when it was possible (was dark)
So we meet. then:
- I talked some meaningless stuff but she didnt recognize it lol. I remembered to not talk too much and dont talk boring sh1t so there were a lot of quiet moments.
- I grabbed her and said "this way" just a good excuse to use kino again (after welcome hug )
- then we played TAG game. i touched her and said shes tagged. she was like Whaaat. I told her she has to like me back. and we were running around for a bit lol. this tag game changed the situation and her attitude a lot. she was into me from that point.
- now i just grabbed her with arm and we were walking by sea. I asked unique questions like "where would you like to wake up" or "what was the strangest place you had sex"
- we stopped and were looking at sea in the dark. I played thumbs game with her and said if one of us loses twice then he has to listen to other person.
-she lost as my hand is bigger so i told her to come closer to me.
- then moved my face to her, grabbed her waist and was teasing her with my lips (but not kissing).
- at some point she was about to kiss me but I moved my face back.
- then finally we kissed and i quickly said we are going.
- I also asked if she wants to end the date now, she said no, but I ended it earlier anyway lol and didnt say too much about me
holy gooly this gaming thing works. if not that thumbs game and tag game it would just be another boring date*. ill use these tricks ALWAYS LO thanks @Fireballs (and other posters)