"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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What about THIS type of girl..

Oni

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-She thinks shes boring
-She doesn't think she's hot
-She's not trying to get a guy
-She's not trying to get into a relationship
-She's not sure of what she really wants

Fellow DJs...i'm trying to get her, but i don't know how to approach.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Vincent

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Originally posted by Oni
-She thinks shes boring
-She doesn't think she's hot
-She's not trying to get a guy
-She's not trying to get into a relationship with me
-She's not sure of what she really wants

Fellow DJs...i'm trying to get her, but i don't know how to approach.
fixed
 

xomel

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Yes it would sound like shes not trying to have a relationship with you. But you should still try to get her. Since it sounds like she has no self confidence, take advantage of that. She most likely wont make you stop if you kino her. Or just lean over to kiss her.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Oni

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but that doesnt solve the problem =[
 

JSH

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Make her feel good about herself, is the best tactic for girls with low self esteem. Im dealing with someone who is slightly similar but i think it is because she is new at our school and therefore very wary of everything. And then she had to bugger off on a compulsory (for her) school trip for a week, so im like stuck as she still is not texting me every day. :(

Anyway when she comes back im gonna build up her self esteem and in my case she said she is interested (and her few m8s say she is just bare worried about being new).
 

Oni

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what would be a good way of bringing up her self-esteem? complementing her?
 

xomel

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sounds like a trainwreck dont waste your time with her. not worth your time.
 

LikRetsam

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She needs you to inflate her ego.

Now do the right thing and go get the pump.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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check_mate_kid_uk

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Originally posted by xomel
Yes it would sound like shes not trying to have a relationship with you. But you should still try to get her. Since it sounds like she has no self confidence, take advantage of that. She most likely wont make you stop if you kino her. Or just lean over to kiss her.
you could do that, but it wont make her like you, infact it could make her hate you. Like mentioned earlyer try and make her fele good about her self, she will love being around you, but just remember that if you over compliment her she will still not like you and if you raise her confidence then she will always have you to thank for that but, that does not mean that she will stick with you.

Theres not much you can do because of this, this si the kind of girl you could be very good freinds with, but trying to get in to a relationship with her is a lost cause, that does not mena give up but im saying it will not be easy and will not necciserly be possible. Like i said before, make her fell good aobut herslef, raise her ego but be prepaired for the day when she is confident and will ditch you, that day will come, its almost a certanty unless you change yourself for her as you go along, because when she is confident you will need to use C&F and neg-hit etc.. and everything you would do with a normal girl

hope iv been a help
 

Oni

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thanks check mate, right now, i'm just going to wait until homecoming. I'll avoid hanging out with her as much as possible and ask her to homecoming when it gets near. the thing is i dont know if she's even gonna go ugh! anyways, if she says yes then i'll start from there, if it's a no then ill just next her. but if its a no cuz im not going then uh..???
 

check_mate_kid_uk

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she will be too shy to say yes, you need to get to know her better, so she is comfterable around you, otherwise she will say no.
 

Oni

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i forgot to mention something, we've been friends ever since middle school.

and we are rather close friends
 
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