BeExcellent
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Dec 16, 2015
- Messages
- 5,353
- Reaction score
- 7,790
- Age
- 57
Agree 100%. The disconnect is in the fact that women like my daughter-in-law are not floosies. Men here want the meme as a plaything for casual hook ups.That is good for him. The thing is on sosuave the men who embody such values are not the marrying type. The ones who want to marry and have kids are often stuck in Disney fantasies.
For instance I knew at age 12 I was not going to get tied down young. Nothing wrong with that but I had other plans.
Um. That's not how this works. So yes, men thinking they can just be casual with girls who have those values and standards and traits are for sure living in fantasy land.
My son is extremely handsome, dresses with panache, has great people skills, and has a very GQ look. So he's not some pimply fat slob. He's ambitious, socially adroit, financially prudent, loves being a father & his single guy friends (he has many) constantly seek his advice about how to find a woman like he has.
He routinely explains to them that being a playboy is not the way, but its tough to hear that when you are young and think you have life by the balls.
He has a maturity beyond his years. He's not flailing about wondering what to do with his life. He's had a plan since elementary school.
Players (I know many including my ex husband & current husband) don't want to get tied down, that's true. Until they run into a woman who has their number, lol.
My husband is extremely good looking, sexy, stylish, smart, tall, fit....all the things women want. Women give him IOLs all the time. He flashes his ring alot or just doesn't much care for the attention now. He's married, that's it.
He tells me from time to time that he had a gorgeous (10 in his mind) girl who was in love with him in his youth, when he was 17-18. She wanted to be married to him; to have his babies, for him to take care of her. But she was lazy and used to getting by on her pretty face. He dropped her because he wasn't interested in being tied down. He wanted to get his bachelors and masters, start a business, make music, make money, focus on his sport. He wasn't interested in family or the associated responsibility.
But now, at 50, he looks back & asks himself what if here and there. He has romanticized that interaction and looks at it through rose colored glasses. He tells everyone "it took 30 years to find another girl like that (meaning me)" and he's not letting me get away.
The experiences in between that initial girlfriend and me were not fulfilling, some were toxic....but few young men hold the value system necessary for a "trad-con" family, and then later look back with some degree of regret.
It is what it is. I am not bothered by him having some what ifs around that ex gf. His life would have gone entirely differently and he knows that.
Sooner or later the vast majority of men want a meaningful relationship. Its just harder to find that later in life.