"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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waiting tables suxx

M

Mrchunglee

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im currently waiting tables at a local resturaunt but business is ****ty these days. anyone got some ideas on how to make some more paper
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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G

Galactus

Master Don Juan
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Man, you have to be the best waiter you can be. I did that job and I loved it. I worked with a bunch of women, not only did I bang half of them, but they were all saying they could make more money than me because they could sex it up. So I busted my ass and eventually made more money than any of them, and it was just from doing a good job. That makes you enjoy the work too.
 
S

SandHawk

Master Don Juan
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Get a race change, become Asian and rent yourself out as a male asian prostitute. You're bound to get tons of money, esp. if you have a large penis.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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J

Just a Shot Away

Master Don Juan
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SandHawk said:
Get a race change, become Asian and rent yourself out as a male asian prostitute. You're bound to get tons of money, esp. if you have a large penis.
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Definitely the most random post of the week.
 
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