"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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waiting tables suxx

M

Mrchunglee

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im currently waiting tables at a local resturaunt but business is ****ty these days. anyone got some ideas on how to make some more paper
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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G

Galactus

Master Don Juan
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Jan 8, 2002
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Man, you have to be the best waiter you can be. I did that job and I loved it. I worked with a bunch of women, not only did I bang half of them, but they were all saying they could make more money than me because they could sex it up. So I busted my ass and eventually made more money than any of them, and it was just from doing a good job. That makes you enjoy the work too.
 
S

SandHawk

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 1, 2009
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Location
Amsterdam, Netherlands
Get a race change, become Asian and rent yourself out as a male asian prostitute. You're bound to get tons of money, esp. if you have a large penis.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

J

Just a Shot Away

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 12, 2009
Messages
646
Reaction score
19
SandHawk said:
Get a race change, become Asian and rent yourself out as a male asian prostitute. You're bound to get tons of money, esp. if you have a large penis.
Click to expand...
Definitely the most random post of the week.
 
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