"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Valentine's Day

Berom

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Not a big fan as I'm sure most of us aren't.

I've been dating a girl for a couple months. She's a good woman who doesn't ask for much typically and doesn't feel entitled to anything as a female.

However, her good friend sent this to me the other night on Facebook messenger,

"I'm being [name of girl]'s loyal side-kick right now and thought I'd let you know that she will be expecting full on romanticism for Valentine's Day. Wouldn't want you to not get the memo. She's such a hopeless cheesy romantic so those things are really important to her. Which I'm sure you already know. Which I'm sure you'd do anyway. Just helpin a brotha out. Go all out. Wine. Flowers. Serenades. Hahaha."
​
When I read this I thought, "Fvck that shvt." If this is true, it's a total buzzkill for me. I haven't brought this specific topic up to the girl I've been dating yet. I'm still pondering on whether or not to just not do anything at all.

I'm not losing any sleep on this, but I want to do the correct thing in regards to letting her know I'm not playing into the female Valentine's day entitlement.

Can anyone relate? Any suggestions? Thanks fellas.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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El Payaso

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Don't do anything.
 

Tictac

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Not a big fan as I'm sure most of us aren't.

I've been dating a girl for a couple months. She's a good woman who doesn't ask for much typically and doesn't feel entitled to anything as a female.

However, her good friend sent this to me the other night on Facebook messenger,

"I'm being [name of girl]'s loyal side-kick right now and thought I'd let you know that she will be expecting full on romanticism for Valentine's Day. Wouldn't want you to not get the memo. She's such a hopeless cheesy romantic so those things are really important to her. Which I'm sure you already know. Which I'm sure you'd do anyway. Just helpin a brotha out. Go all out. Wine. Flowers. Serenades. Hahaha."
​
When I read this I thought, "Fvck that shvt." If this is true, it's a total buzzkill for me. I haven't brought this specific topic up to the girl I've been dating yet. I'm still pondering on whether or not to just not do anything at all.

I'm not losing any sleep on this, but I want to do the correct thing in regards to letting her know I'm not playing into the female Valentine's day entitlement.

Can anyone relate? Any suggestions? Thanks fellas.
Third party advice from a chick? Not on your life.

Do it the way you want.
 

AttackFormation

Master Don Juan
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Do exactly the OPPOSITE of that advice.
 

Speculator E

Master Don Juan
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Not a big fan as I'm sure most of us aren't.

I've been dating a girl for a couple months. She's a good woman who doesn't ask for much typically and doesn't feel entitled to anything as a female.

However, her good friend sent this to me the other night on Facebook messenger,
.
Who do you think told her friend to facebook message you? You don't have to go all out but you have to do at least something or face her fury?
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Berom

Don Juan
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Who do you think told her friend to facebook message you? You don't have to go all out but you have to do at least something or face her fury?
I'm almost positive they talked about it and then she reached out to me. Regardless of what happened, I don't appreciate the tone and expectancy of that message. I've decided I'd be willing to take her to dinner but I'm way past chocolates, flowers, and cards for Valentine's Day. It's very juvenile.
 

Tictac

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I'm almost positive they talked about it and then she reached out to me. Regardless of what happened, I don't appreciate the tone and expectancy of that message. I've decided I'd be willing to take her to dinner but I'm way past chocolates, flowers, and cards for Valentine's Day. It's very juvenile.
Dinner is fine. A little more MIGHT be fine too. Puking flowers, cards, chocolates and dinners is just stupid.
 

old_skoolr

Master Don Juan
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Do whatever you feel comfortable with.

You'd be surprised how appreciative girls are when doing something that took you 2 min to think of.

Dinner a bottle of wine and a nice fvck.....job done.
 
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