"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Valentines Day card (awwww!)

D

diplomatic_lie

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Heh, I saw this cute card on the Adam Sandler site:

To my Valentine,
You're as pretty as roses,
If I bring a camera,
Will you do some nude poses?

I always wanna be with you,
There or across the border,
I'd love to follow you forever,
If not for that restraining order.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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S

Spike_the_Dragon

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I made a valentines card when I was a kid once. I drew a picture of an actual human heart on the cover. Needless to say, she never talked to me again after that (actually, if I remember correctly she never talked to me before that either!).


Ahh, didn't you just love high school? Things have changed soo much it is hard to believe sometimes.:D





P.S. I still play with crayons.:p
 
B

Bonhomme

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LOL

Good one.

Spike, I also made one with an anatomically correct heart and sent it to this sort of beatnik/goth artist chick I used to hang out with, and she loved it.

She kept it and put it up on her wall.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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S

Spike_the_Dragon

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Ha ha ha.

You know its funny... nowadays women buy flowers for me!

I used to have a major crush on this goth chick back in school... what a stupida$$ I was. I don't think that b!tch ever once smiled (unless she was thinking about dead puppies or something). Anyways, I think I'm gonna stay away from the vampire babes from now on.

Goth chicks can be hazardous to your health... keep a safe distance. ;)
 
A

AC/DC

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Originally posted by Spike_the_Dragon

I used to have a major crush on this goth chick back in school... what a stupida$$ I was. I don't think that b!tch ever once smiled (unless she was thinking about dead puppies or something). Anyways, I think I'm gonna stay away from the vampire babes from now on.

Goth chicks can be hazardous to your health... keep a safe distance. ;)
Click to expand...
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAH

That's great! :D
 
H

Hot Ice

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Haaaaahahhahah! The best fvcking-Valentines thread ever! :D


Oh yeah. They always had that buy a rose thing. Of course I went for it and bought one for a girl I had a crush on. She never spoke to me again afterwards.
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Oh, yeah?? And why is that? :p
 
A

AlexTheGreat

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hahaha ... I just bought a christmas "canne-o-gramme" (they distribute christmas candy ..)

lol I think I'm gonna send it to myself, just for ****s and giggles lol
 
B

Bonhomme

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LOL

I forgot to mention the goth chick put my valentine up on the wall next to her shrunken heads.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

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