Valentine's Day: Am I the *******?

[dude99]

Well what I'd demand is respect, to be taken seriously, to be treated like a man and her equal rather than somebody subordinate to her because of where she's gotten to in life, at least financially.

What I'm more asking is what is the line between "here's how it's gotta be moving forward for me to stay" versus "this relationship is about what I want and not you"?

Learn this :

You can't demand respect from a person who doesn't respect you. You can only cut them out of your life.

 

[Barrister]

Well what I'd demand is respect, to be taken seriously, to be treated like a man and her equal rather than somebody subordinate to her because of where she's gotten to in life, at least financially.

What I'm more asking is what is the line between "here's how it's gotta be moving forward for me to stay" versus "this relationship is about what I want and not you"?

The problem is your actions show that you are willing to continue to be disrespected. She just broke up over text with you and you then say "well I will still check in with you here in a few days just to be sure this is what you REALLY want." Come on, brother. All you are doing is just feeding her validation at this point while making yourself look like a clown-show. I guarantee she is gloating to her friends about how you are like a sad little puppy dog that keeps checking in with her.

Here is another thing I have come to realize having been in an LTR with a woman who is a couple of years older than me -- they typically always think they wear the pants because you are younger than them. Don't be an in LTR with an older woman unless it is like barely older than you (less than a year).

Move on. You can do better. And stop giving this woman so much satisfaction at your own expense and go NO CONTACT. And do not respond if she reaches out to breadcrumb you.

 

[BPH]

I don't think verbalizing this will gain you the respect you seek. You'll sound like Fredo in Godfather II.

Just say, "let's see how things go." Wipe the slate clean but move forward with your new self-respect. That is, one strike and you walk...also, keep chatting with other girls. But don't verbalize it. She will still test you, so it's up to you whether you have the fortitude to 1) avoid stupid arguments and 2) walk away.

Personally I would just next her now. No need for more conversations/drama.

When you say to keep chatting with other girls, I assume you mean as backups and not cheating, correct? I feel like cheating would only make it worse if we do continue after this.

Learn this :

You can't demand respect from a person who doesn't respect you. You can only cut them out of your life.

The problem is your actions show that you are willing to continue to be disrespected. She just broke up over text with you and you then say "well I will still check in with you here in a few days just to be sure this is what you REALLY want." Come on, brother. All you are doing is just feeding her validation at this point while making yourself look like a clown-show. I guarantee she is gloating to her friends about how you are like a sad little puppy dog that keeps checking in with her.

Here is another thing I have come to realize having been in an LTR with a woman who is a couple of years older than me -- they typically always think they wear the pants because you are younger than them. Don't be an in LTR with an older woman unless it is like barely older than you (less than a year).

Move on. You can do better. And stop giving this woman so much satisfaction at your own expense and go NO CONTACT. And do not respond if she reaches out to breadcrumb you.

I'm gonna quote the two of you at the same time because I thought the best advice here would be to go no-contact unless she was willing to be face-to-face with me and apologize. Is that no longer the suggestion?

She DID reach out to me last night while I was asleep. I'm sure most of you are familiar with Snapchat. It shows your "streak" of talking to a particular person at least once a day, and ours has been pretty long since it was how she liked to communicate a lot when we were dating. She snapped me because she "wasn't ready to let that go just yet", so to her this is like the "last line to cross" I'd assume.

I was thinking about answering her with something along the lines of "aside from this response, next time we talk is in person or not at all", since that was the advice I'd been getting up to this point right? Ghost her, if she comes around have her do it in person instead of this over-the-phone bull****.

Has that changed now or something?

 

[BPH]

You can’t make that demand of her because you haven’t shown you can walk away and mean it. I don’t think she will care at this point.

Forgot to quote you in that reply. I've walked away and meant it twice so far in this 6-month relationship we've been in. Both times she came around, apologized, etc.

You may be right that I'm not doing the best job of walking away NOW, but I'm not sure what you mean about her not caring at this point. Like that she won't believe that I'm willing to walk away this time if she doesn't show me more respect?

 

[rart]

Why do men have this sick urge to do all this stupid sappy bullkrap on the valentine's day? Do something manly for her, like fix shyt or chop wood. Giving here a fooking collection of teddy bears?!

 

[BPH]

Why do men have this sick urge to do all this stupid sappy bullkrap on the valentine's day? Do something manly for her, like fix shyt or chop wood. Giving here a fooking collection of teddy bears?!

Well no, I gave her one. She has 2 other stuffed things animals I won at carnivals and ****.

 

[Smok1nAce]

OP do you not understand NO CONTACT!

don’t try to explain to her that the only way she can talk to you is in person.

NO CONTACT!

Grab your balls and delete! Don’t read sh1t.

NO CONTACT!!!

This is what’s going to happen. Your going to get on with your life. If she really wants you she will show up to your house could be a week, could be a month, could be never. That’s what they call life. This is the only card you have left, by telling her this your giving it up. STOP! NO CONTACT!

 

[BillyPilgrim]

If I'm being honest with myself I probably started the fight because I was the one feeling slighted by the fact that the effort I put in was only recognized as "the weekend" rather than to make up for the fact that I wouldn't be around for Valentine's Day.

That said, after reading your responses I feel a little more validated in being pissed off.

I haven't decided what I wanna do yet.

She is bipolar, but neither of us has used that as excuse for her behavior, so I won't do that now either. She did mail me a big wine and champagne thing with cheese and crackers as a gift - I'm sure it wasn't sent last night or it probably wouldn't have been sent at all.

I'm not worried that she might've cheated, as some of you seem to be thinking that might be the case, and I know she loves me very much, but you're right - I'm not sure if she respects me. She's very wealthy, makes a little over $500k/year and if I'm being honest with myself, I've probably dealt with more **** from her than other women because she's promised me a job on her firm once I get licensed, and to teach my about how she trades stocks and crypto, etc.

I'm not looking to use her to get rich, but rather I wanted to grow with her since when she's sweet, she's wonderful. But then there's stuff like this...

I see most people are saying to next her, and that's understandable, I'd probably do the same in most cases...I'll probably read this throughout the day and think about what I want to do...maybe I'll go a weekend without visiting her, maybe I'll have another conversation with her and base my decision on how she acts...I don't know, I don't usually fall in love with a woman so I'm a little more invested this time.

We'll see, but you guys are right, this is quite a lot of bull**** to deal with so something probably does have to change here. I'll just have to decide what that will be.

How in the world does she make half a mil a year if she's bipolar? That combination smacks hard of surrealism, if that scenario is true she's not going to have an accurate perception of the world. Everything will be colored by the ridiculous circumstances of her existence.

OP is this girl Jewish by any chance?

 

[BillyPilgrim]

OP do you not understand NO CONTACT!

don’t try to explain to her that the only way she can talk to you is in person.

NO CONTACT!

Grab your balls and delete! Don’t read sh1t.

NO CONTACT!!!

This is what’s going to happen. Your going to get on with your life. If she really wants you she will show up to your house could be a week, could be a month, could be never. That’s what they call life. This is the only card you have left, by telling her this your giving it up. STOP! NO CONTACT!

Lol sounds like this girl has no contact with reality.

 

[jimwho]

Lol sounds like this girl has no contact with reality.

Don't you mean OP? He's been a Master-Don-Juan since 2010. Has learned Zero. This has nothing to do with game, it's just basic common decency to oneself. He's choosing to be eaten up and shat out instead of not showing up to the feast.

 

[dude99]

When you say to keep chatting with other girls, I assume you mean as backups and not cheating, correct? I feel like cheating would only make it worse if we do continue after this.





I'm gonna quote the two of you at the same time because I thought the best advice here would be to go no-contact unless she was willing to be face-to-face with me and apologize. Is that no longer the suggestion?

She DID reach out to me last night while I was asleep. I'm sure most of you are familiar with Snapchat. It shows your "streak" of talking to a particular person at least once a day, and ours has been pretty long since it was how she liked to communicate a lot when we were dating. She snapped me because she "wasn't ready to let that go just yet", so to her this is like the "last line to cross" I'd assume.

I was thinking about answering her with something along the lines of "aside from this response, next time we talk is in person or not at all", since that was the advice I'd been getting up to this point right? Ghost her, if she comes around have her do it in person instead of this over-the-phone bull****.

Has that changed now or something?

Here is my stance. She is bipolar. Walk away. 100% no second chances.

here is my stance if she wasn't bipolar.

She wanted to end things by text. She wanted to act like a spoiled biatch and punish you for her moods Even after you treated her beyond good for Valentines day. The fact that it wasn't on the 14th is moot because if she doesn't respect you she won't appreciate what you did no matter what day of the week or month is. She wanted to control the frame. She has mood issues and control issues and is immature. Bottom line is her behaviour is that of s spoiled 12 year old that never matured.

She is the one that Facked up. She is the one who has to fix this and i wouldn"t lift a finger to help her fix this. I would make her work for it and i would still go after new women. Leave her in no contact zone permanently

She wants to be selfish and self centered and disrespectful then let her see what it is like to not have you. 100% no contact.

 

[Barrister]

She DID reach out to me last night while I was asleep. I'm sure most of you are familiar with Snapchat. It shows your "streak" of talking to a particular person at least once a day, and ours has been pretty long since it was how she liked to communicate a lot when we were dating. She snapped me because she "wasn't ready to let that go just yet", so to her this is like the "last line to cross" I'd assume.

I was thinking about answering her with something along the lines of "aside from this response, next time we talk is in person or not at all", since that was the advice I'd been getting up to this point right? Ghost her, if she comes around have her do it in person instead of this over-the-phone bull****.

Has that changed now or something?

There is ZERO reason to have a "closure" talk with her or some other BS. Because you are secretly hoping to get back together and it isn't going to happen. All you are doing is just prolonging your pain by talking to her - whether that is in person, by phone, by mail, etc. I am not sure who said to speak to her face to face (skimmed the thread) but in my eyes it was never a good option even if she is willing to do it.

No Contact. Move on. And don't respond to her when she reaches out.

 

[samspade]

She DID reach out to me last night while I was asleep. I'm sure most of you are familiar with Snapchat. It shows your "streak" of talking to a particular person at least once a day, and ours has been pretty long since it was how she liked to communicate a lot when we were dating. She snapped me because she "wasn't ready to let that go just yet", so to her this is like the "last line to cross" I'd assume.

I was thinking about answering her with something along the lines of "aside from this response, next time we talk is in person or not at all", since that was the advice I'd been getting up to this point right? Ghost her, if she comes around have her do it in person instead of this over-the-phone bull****.

Has that changed now or something?

Block. Nothing to be gained by talking in person, and the ultimatum won't work. It will backfire.

Note, she will find a way to get through to you and either sob (to appeal to your soft side) or accuse you of being a d!ck. Both are traps. Ignore.

 

[BPH]

I’ll reply to the comments when I get home. I haven’t fully read them as I’m at the gym.

She told me she didn’t want to lose the Snapchat streak and me on the same day but that she doesn’t think it’s a good idea to talk.

I’ve since removed and blocked her and her friends/family on any social media I have with her.

The finality kinda hurts but ok. To those saying “I’m a master DJ and should know better”, I don’t do relationships. I’ve been in 3, and only been in love twice. I tried my hardest for what I thought was a good woman. Give me a break…

I’m going to get back to my workout and I’ll check here later.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Love isn’t enough. Fvck love. Women should be submissive, helpful, and respectful. Those should be foundational to an LTR. Your love for her can grow over time only when those are fulfilled.

 

[BPH]

Well...in the few hours since my last post a lot has happened actually...

A few minutes after I removed her from socials she notices and BLOWS UP. Starts texting me, trying to call me, etc.

She's saying that what I did wasn't mature, is this how I handle breakups, etc. Then she starts pleading for me to answer the phone, have an adult conversation, that kinda stuff. So I tell her that we're either going to have this conversation in person or not at all, and that if this is important to her she's going to have to come to me and talk face-to-face.

I didn't think much of it, she continued to go off for a while...I didn't respond, and just a few minutes ago I get this text "Okay, fine I suppose we'll do it your way. Pick a bar and a time."

 

[Smok1nAce]

Well...in the few hours since my last post a lot has happened actually...

A few minutes after I removed her from socials she notices and BLOWS UP. Starts texting me, trying to call me, etc.

She's saying that what I did wasn't mature, is this how I handle breakups, etc. Then she starts pleading for me to answer the phone, have an adult conversation, that kinda stuff. So I tell her that we're either going to have this conversation in person or not at all, and that if this is important to her she's going to have to come to me and talk face-to-face.

I didn't think much of it, she continued to go off for a while...I didn't respond, and just a few minutes ago I get this text "Okay, fine I suppose we'll do it your way. Pick a bar and a time."

You don’t listen. NO CONTACT.


You either a troll or a bot at this point

 

[Glassguy]

Well what I'd demand is respect, to be taken seriously, to be treated like a man and her equal rather than somebody subordinate to her because of where she's gotten to in life, at least financially.

What I'm more asking is what is the line between "here's how it's gotta be moving forward for me to stay" versus "this relationship is about what I want and not you"?

You just answered your own thread. It's too late. You were too nice. At the first sign of dosrespect from this bytch you should have put her on silence. As in let her not hear from you for a few days to wonder what you're doing.

You also made threats to walk away and then back peddled. She said she wanted to break up over text and you said you'll check back in a few days to see if she feels the same way? Does that sound like you're demanding respect? At that point I would have said "agreed. Take care" and she wouldn't hear back from me again. Like ever.

But here you are now asking for advice on how to handle it IF she comes back? Seriously?

You're not demanding respect. And let's be honest....you've treated this disrespectful bytch like a princess because you don't stand up for yourself.

You blew this a long time ago I'm afraid. You care about how much money she makes. Who gives a shyte. It should be about how she respects you, is submissive and gets some good anxiety from worrying about you leaving her. But its probably always been the other way around.
She doesn't respect you. I'm not sure if you respect you at this point and that should be the real conversation of this thread.

You'll never meet what you're looking for AND keep a woman of high value around if you keep acting this way.
You not respecting yourself is instant dismissal from any high value woman.

Reread this thread OP. It should make you cringe. Have some damn self respect and tell princess to go pound sand up her @ss and then block her. That would be a good start. Why guys put up with these disrespectful chicks is beyond me.

 

[Glassguy]

You don’t listen. NO CONTACT.


You either a troll or a bot at this point

He's doomed. No helping him. People are what they are when they get past 25 yrs old. Too many bad habits at that point

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Don't you mean OP? He's been a Master-Don-Juan since 2010. Has learned Zero. This has nothing to do with game, it's just basic common decency to oneself. He's choosing to be eaten up and shat out instead of not showing up to the feast.

I didn't see that until now. 1300+ posts too, smh