Two dates. No kiss. What should I do?

[Gangster Of Love]

Well for a woman, a gay guy dosent want to fvck u but a bi guy does. Im not a troll, just lost in my thinking and hoping sosuave would give me some guidance. Im doing a good job, when she didnt call me right away after monday I would have called her again monday night, but because of sosuave I waited for her to call. And she did.

But she probably doesn't want to fvuck a "bi" guy, she wants to fvck a hetero man; if she is interested in you, it is as a girlfriend; she looks at you as a gay guy, not a bi guy or as someone she wants to sleep with. You confirmed it by being so passive. She wants to take you shopping with her and hang out like a girlfriend.


"its a shame hes gay, ide like to date him."

It is a shame. I mean for you, since you claim you want to date her/fvck her.

 

[scottfall]

Claim? I knew saying I was bi would open myself upto flames on this forum. But its a big part of the situation, where I think sosuave could help me.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Claim? I knew saying I was bi would open myself upto flames on this forum. But its a big part of the situation, where I think sosuave could help me.

What do you want from this woman and would you have that want if you didn't know what she had said about you?

 

[scottfall]

What do you want from this woman and would you have that want if you didn't know what she had said about you?

Ive wanted to be with her since I met her six years ago. There where just alot of things in the way, didnt know her that well, 100lbs heavier, low confidence, no idea on how things work. I would like to be involved with her in the same capacity any straight guy would want to. Me being bi has nothing to do with the feelings I have for her on my end.

 

[scottfall]

You confirmed it by being so passive.

And thats what I didnt want to happen, thats why this second date kiss thing should have been done. But I didnt feel like it was the right time.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Ive wanted to be with her since I met her six years ago. There where just alot of things in the way, didnt know her that well, 100lbs heavier, low confidence, no idea on how things work. I would like to be involved with her in the same capacity any straight guy would want to. Me being bi has nothing to do with the feelings I have for her on my end.

Alright, no big deal. What I said previously still stands although I'm still curious about why you felt telling her that you were bi was going to be much more beneficial to her. Yeah, it opens the door a little but in her mind there can still be more than one person behind it.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

And thats what I didnt want to happen, thats why this second date kiss thing should have been done. But I didnt feel like it was the right time.

You're right. It should have been done during/after drinks on date 1.

 

[scottfall]

You're right. It should have been done during/after drinks on date 1.

Well see if she wants to do the movie thing Saturday. If so, Im not keeping my hands to myself.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

Why did you tell her you were bi on the first date? That's weird. Then after you told her you were bi you didn't make a move at all? Not looking good from here.

 

[young_gun]

Definitely put a move on her. Start out slow, with some kino and all, but if you continue to take her on dates and not put any moves on her, you'll be in friend zone faster than you can blink. Believe that.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

Has she accepted the third date yet?

 

[scottfall]

Has she accepted the third date yet?

Nope. Left a message for her around 12. "Was thinking of going to see Juno this weekend, thought you may want to go with me. Let me know whats up"... well see. Like I said, took her 2 days to call me back the last time. I see her at work tomorrow.

 

[scottfall]

Definitely put a move on her. Start out slow, with some kino and all, but if you continue to take her on dates and not put any moves on her, you'll be in friend zone faster than you can blink. Believe that.

No doubt about it. Theres been hello/goodbye hugs but thats it.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

Nope. Left a message for her around 12. "Was thinking of going to see Juno this weekend, thought you may want to go with me. Let me know whats up"... well see. Like I said, took her 2 days to call me back the last time. I see her at work tomorrow.

DOH another work relationship. You just gave me horrible flashbacks of a woman I dated at work what a huge mistake that was!!

 

[scottfall]

DOH another work relationship. You just gave me horrible flashbacks of a woman I dated at work what a huge mistake that was!!

Yea. Im using that expereicne for what I DONT want to happen. If she blows me off, ill just move on. If things progress ill do my best to keep work work and outside of work outside of work.

 

[reset]

Yea. Im using that expereicne for what I DONT want to happen. If she blows me off, ill just move on. If things progress ill do my best to keep work work and outside of work outside of work.

Right.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

Yea. Im using that expereicne for what I DONT want to happen. If she blows me off, ill just move on. If things progress ill do my best to keep work work and outside of work outside of work.

The funny thing is, if all that drama didn't go down with my work girl I would have never met the new girls. It still SUCKS seeing her there because it's a constant reminder.

I would probably still be messing around with worker girl if she didn't flip on me that night. So I am very happy because it all turned out for the better. I still haven't heard a peep from that woman. She must have meant it when she said she never wanted to see me again. I have heard that twice in my life and they really did meant it. If you ever hear that line, run and never look back.

As for how you asked your girl out you should have gone with "i'll be at the movie theater, come by around 8.." or whatever time you'll be there.

 

[KarmaSutra]

One of my favorite quotes is perfect for this:

Wyatt: "You called down the thunder well now you got it!"

Brother SCOTT it certainly appears, from the information provided, that she will not have any other relationship with you except one akin to that of her shopping buddy or girlfriend. This is evident in the fact that her kino has waned to the point of not being. The act of pursuance (the chase) is most of the fun when someone is being courted.

Sadly, this is also a worthless endeavor as she seems to be interested in filling your days with endless chatter and little else.

The best thing would be to keep her on as a friend and set your sights on a few other plate-pigeons to shoot and claim.

And it would be remiss of me to not mention your sexuality. I'll only do so because it has to be considered, especially to a heterosexual woman who may not have the worldly you of herself as you do. Being bisexual does nothing to impair you as a man, but the reality is we do live in a puritanistic, minimalist society wrought with degradation and intolerance. So you have to choose your words carefully, don't censor yourself or limit what you want to say, just be sure to use the right words for the right time.

Also, and this is extremely important, remove the term "date" from your vocabulary. It has connotations of reciprocity which will sidetrack any attempt at having a wonderful experience with someone's company. That's all you're doing, spending fun time with someone without any expectation at the end.

Let me know if you need any clarification or expounded definition brother.

 

[scottfall]

Is the "dating" not part of the chase? Nothing was set in stone between her and I.

I understand that me being bi will most likely be an issue for the people I date, male or female. But its who I am. I had the same problem with the last guy I dated. For me its blonds vs. brunettes, just because I am involved with a blond dosent mean I would leave her/him to date a brunette. I made it clear to her that I was bi (attracted to women) because she was under the impression that I was gay. My therapist and I had a long discussion about the issue, I didnt want to tell her and he thought I should.

Also, what does your quote imply? Im missing it.

 

[scottfall]

Alright, well im done trying with her. Damn it.

I read this morning.. A baby dosent walk on his first try. But the wanting makes him keep trying after each fall. I give myself credit for taking that first step, but damn the fall hurts.