You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Juan_Man said:I'm on myspace talking with a girl who just got off line and I also have a window opened up for craigslist personals. Still no leads.
There has got to be an easier way.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Thanks. I'll see if I have enough balls by the end of this week.rocky_mtn said:Find something cool like the country fair, rock concert, baseball game, nascar race, wine festival (whatever your thing is or any local cheesy event) and then chat up with her about whatever, then mention that you are going to this event and it would be cool if she could join you. If she says no, then tell her that she is missing out on a great time. Make it sound like you are going either way, so if she joins you or not, it's no big deal. Depending on what you are actually doing, you may or may not be going anyways. Pressure is off because you are inviting her to your fun time, not relying on her to be the fun time. If she says no, don't offer an alternative, wait for later. If she says yes, then there you go.
good luck, ask her, she probably wouldn't mind going out and having fun with you.
S1NN3R said:No "end of this week", just do it now. You're helping your chances by getting in before she's made other plans. Ask her the very next time you see her.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Juan_Man said:Thanks. I'll see if I have enough balls by the end of this week.