penkitten
Master Don Juan
thats golden. you should use that as your signature.speed dawg said:
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Trouble with wife
- Thread starter danny62
- Start date
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
To the creator of this thread...the IMPORTANCE of "economics"...
Read the following (see post #2): http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?p=1092820&posted=1#post1092820
Read the following (see post #2): http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?p=1092820&posted=1#post1092820
Vulpine
Master Don Juan
*scoreboard clicks from 6 to 7*penkitten said:
Problem here is that misandrist divorce laws give her all the leverage here now and you both KNOW it. If you divorce, the man has everything to lose and the woman everything to gain.Rollo Tomassi said:
Taking away a kiss or whatever isn't going to compare to her taking away half your house and 401K. Get REAL, people! These acts aren't even in the same league!
Marriage then is, by definition, the ultimate AFC act. It's voluntary financial castration.
“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”
Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.
I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.
Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules. Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.
Even that article doesnt say that.wayword said:
I think someone thinks women dont have real jobs with real paychecks that help fund those 401Ks and mortgage payments. 1950 called; he wants his typical family setup back.
IMNSHO, suicide is the ultimate AFC act.
penkitten
Master Don Juan
me tooazanon said:
Vulpine
Master Don Juan
Vulpine just called: he wants 1950 back.
Well, it was kind of the "Golden Era" of America, really. Full of optimism and stable "Norman Rockwell" families. Crime was low and the Middle Class was large. Women were well-manicured, well-mannered, well-privileged and didn't have an Oprah-sized chip on their shoulder. Men were men who provided for and protected their families well.Vulpine said:
Grace Kelly
Barbara Eden
Sandra Dee
Far from perfect, but in this world, it was pretty good times relatively speaking.
And then along came a spider...
Rollo Tomassi
Master Don Juan
Mmm,..hosing down civil rights activists with fire hoses in the south, segregation, a fanatical obsession with the 'red menace", blacklisting Jewish filmmakers as "communist sympathizers", McCarthyism, the Korean conflict,...ah yes the Golden Era of America.
Beware of romanticizng and idealizing yesteryears, they really weren't as magical as we'd like to remember them as.
Beware of romanticizng and idealizing yesteryears, they really weren't as magical as we'd like to remember them as.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
speed dawg
Master Don Juan
PLEASE don't tell me you're gonna go there. I grew up in the heart of the South. Let's just say I'm armed. :trouble:Rollo Tomassi said:
Just kidding, I try not to even partake in those type discussions anymore.
You two have your eras confused. I'd argue that Golden era ended in the 50s. The EARLY 1900s is what really was the golden years, you know, Roaring 20s and all. It's really difficult to say where the concept of family was lost and why we would do away with such a good institution. You can blame lots of problems today on broken families.
Vulpine
Master Don Juan
Every party needs a pooper.
Damn you RT...
Joyrobber.
Damn you RT...
Joyrobber.Vulpine
Master Don Juan
shoosh, shoosh, shoosh.
The louder you scream, the crazier you look. Let people see what they want to see. Some are happier in the bliss that is ignorance, wayword. Don't go joyrobbing like RT.
Just, shoosh...
The louder you scream, the crazier you look. Let people see what they want to see. Some are happier in the bliss that is ignorance, wayword. Don't go joyrobbing like RT.
Just, shoosh...
The others are all worthless and weak Wayword. You are the best.
In the short history of mankind, yes MANKIND, on this earth, there has been only a short time in which democracy prevailed. Before that, there were thousands of years of repression and slavery. A couple of lifetimes worth of an experiment doesn't show it will last forever. Nor will feminism last forever. This too shall pass. An aberration on the path of evolution. Evolution is the exception, extinction is the norm.
Wait a minute what does this have to do with the original question.
In the short history of mankind, yes MANKIND, on this earth, there has been only a short time in which democracy prevailed. Before that, there were thousands of years of repression and slavery. A couple of lifetimes worth of an experiment doesn't show it will last forever. Nor will feminism last forever. This too shall pass. An aberration on the path of evolution. Evolution is the exception, extinction is the norm.
Wait a minute what does this have to do with the original question.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Wow! I'm amazed at all of the replies- some VERY helpful too. To answer some of the questions for me, I'm 44, she's 42. I was dating her for a year when we got married. I allowed my apartment lease to expire and then moved into her house- she had owned it for 6 years before I met her. I was divorced for 6 years after having been with my first wife for 8 years. I have no kids(I got fixed during my first marriage) and a relatively small personal credit card debt. (About 3k)She has hers, I have mine. I purposely kept it that way too and now you know why. I was NOT desperate to be married again- trust me, and my current wife pretty much approached me about getting married- no b.s. Most of her debt was incurred before we got married although she has tacked on about 8k to hers in the last year. I am for the most part laid-back, although my temper can be volcanic at times: No, I've never hit her or any other woman in my life although I did beat the hell out of a fan and lawn chair recently. Actually, I killed the fan. Hope this answers all of the questions. BTW, what is an AFC? I doubt its the American Football Conference and it probably ain't good. I also want to thank everyone for their replies- some pretty funny stuff too.
Danny...getting into an $8K debt in a matter of 12 months is a scary thought.danny62 said:
Let's assume she adds 25% of that per year? That's about $2K per year. That adds up. Let's say she dumps you and stop paying those bills...and let's say she dumps you in 5 years (or you dump her). That's what? $10K + the 8K for a total of $18K! Plus interests! How can YOU buy a new house like that? What about YOUR retirement?
Furthermore, you would be 50! And quite possibly, it might take you a year or two to recover from this hell. So, 52 and starting all over again.
It seems to me that you can actually sit down with her and try and put some logic in her brain, just for sake of the marriage. But my guess is that she is not going to change.
Then, you might want to consider doing some arrangments...such as making sure you are PROTECTED (e.g. credit cards, etc., etc. bank accounts...etc., etc.)
Men...you are a young man. You could have found a woman in her 30s!
penkitten
Master Don Juan
danny,
my husband and i have been together and living together about the same amount of time as you and your wife, however we didnt marry until june of 06.
if i were to put lets say 100-200 bucks on my credit card, he would roll his eyes at me, and i would know it would be my responsibility to repay those debts on my own credit. however, if i were to put any more than that on there, he would down right kick my ass. to be quite honest, all the debts on my credit cards are things i charged prior to our wedding to help pay for our wedding and honeymoon. (we paid for everything ourselves like most people do these days) we get our tax refund in a few days and i have already been instructed to pay my cards off in full, and to not use them again unless there is an dire emergency. he explained to me how high the interest rate is and thats why many people can not get them paid off. then he explained how anything that is charged needs to be paid off before the actual statement comes out in order not to incure interest charges. before this conversation, i thought that by paying the monthly payments, it would build my credit up. duh, gullible! perhaps your wife has never really had anyone explain it in a way that she could understand and thoughtfully before either. even though the credit cards are all in my name with my debts, you should see him, so happy to be out from under the debt of them , now that they will be paid in full in the very near future. i hope this helps.
my husband and i have been together and living together about the same amount of time as you and your wife, however we didnt marry until june of 06.
if i were to put lets say 100-200 bucks on my credit card, he would roll his eyes at me, and i would know it would be my responsibility to repay those debts on my own credit. however, if i were to put any more than that on there, he would down right kick my ass. to be quite honest, all the debts on my credit cards are things i charged prior to our wedding to help pay for our wedding and honeymoon. (we paid for everything ourselves like most people do these days) we get our tax refund in a few days and i have already been instructed to pay my cards off in full, and to not use them again unless there is an dire emergency. he explained to me how high the interest rate is and thats why many people can not get them paid off. then he explained how anything that is charged needs to be paid off before the actual statement comes out in order not to incure interest charges. before this conversation, i thought that by paying the monthly payments, it would build my credit up. duh, gullible! perhaps your wife has never really had anyone explain it in a way that she could understand and thoughtfully before either. even though the credit cards are all in my name with my debts, you should see him, so happy to be out from under the debt of them , now that they will be paid in full in the very near future. i hope this helps.
Penkitten...
Your husband did a great job explaining you things.
Remember, the HUGE difference between you (a 29-year old woman, recently married) and her (a 42-year old woman, with a history of debts, and a divorce). You changed because you were still learning the way. That woman is NOT going to change unless something drastic happens.
8,000 dollars in ONE year is RIDICULOUS and scary.
Your husband did a great job explaining you things.
Remember, the HUGE difference between you (a 29-year old woman, recently married) and her (a 42-year old woman, with a history of debts, and a divorce). You changed because you were still learning the way. That woman is NOT going to change unless something drastic happens.
8,000 dollars in ONE year is RIDICULOUS and scary.
“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”
Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.
I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.
Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules. Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.