penkitten
Master Don Juan
thats golden. you should use that as your signature.speed dawg said:
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Trouble with wife
- Thread starter danny62
- Start date
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
To the creator of this thread...the IMPORTANCE of "economics"...
Read the following (see post #2): http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?p=1092820&posted=1#post1092820
Read the following (see post #2): http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?p=1092820&posted=1#post1092820
Vulpine
Master Don Juan
*scoreboard clicks from 6 to 7*penkitten said:
Problem here is that misandrist divorce laws give her all the leverage here now and you both KNOW it. If you divorce, the man has everything to lose and the woman everything to gain.Rollo Tomassi said:
Taking away a kiss or whatever isn't going to compare to her taking away half your house and 401K. Get REAL, people! These acts aren't even in the same league!
Marriage then is, by definition, the ultimate AFC act. It's voluntary financial castration.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Even that article doesnt say that.wayword said:
I think someone thinks women dont have real jobs with real paychecks that help fund those 401Ks and mortgage payments. 1950 called; he wants his typical family setup back.
IMNSHO, suicide is the ultimate AFC act.
penkitten
Master Don Juan
me tooazanon said:
Vulpine
Master Don Juan
Vulpine just called: he wants 1950 back.
Well, it was kind of the "Golden Era" of America, really. Full of optimism and stable "Norman Rockwell" families. Crime was low and the Middle Class was large. Women were well-manicured, well-mannered, well-privileged and didn't have an Oprah-sized chip on their shoulder. Men were men who provided for and protected their families well.Vulpine said:
Grace Kelly
Barbara Eden
Sandra Dee
Far from perfect, but in this world, it was pretty good times relatively speaking.
And then along came a spider...
Rollo Tomassi
Master Don Juan
Mmm,..hosing down civil rights activists with fire hoses in the south, segregation, a fanatical obsession with the 'red menace", blacklisting Jewish filmmakers as "communist sympathizers", McCarthyism, the Korean conflict,...ah yes the Golden Era of America.
Beware of romanticizng and idealizing yesteryears, they really weren't as magical as we'd like to remember them as.
Beware of romanticizng and idealizing yesteryears, they really weren't as magical as we'd like to remember them as.
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
speed dawg
Master Don Juan
PLEASE don't tell me you're gonna go there. I grew up in the heart of the South. Let's just say I'm armed. :trouble:Rollo Tomassi said:
Just kidding, I try not to even partake in those type discussions anymore.
You two have your eras confused. I'd argue that Golden era ended in the 50s. The EARLY 1900s is what really was the golden years, you know, Roaring 20s and all. It's really difficult to say where the concept of family was lost and why we would do away with such a good institution. You can blame lots of problems today on broken families.
Vulpine
Master Don Juan
Every party needs a pooper.
Damn you RT...
Joyrobber.
Damn you RT...
Joyrobber.Vulpine
Master Don Juan
shoosh, shoosh, shoosh.
The louder you scream, the crazier you look. Let people see what they want to see. Some are happier in the bliss that is ignorance, wayword. Don't go joyrobbing like RT.
Just, shoosh...
The louder you scream, the crazier you look. Let people see what they want to see. Some are happier in the bliss that is ignorance, wayword. Don't go joyrobbing like RT.
Just, shoosh...
The others are all worthless and weak Wayword. You are the best.
In the short history of mankind, yes MANKIND, on this earth, there has been only a short time in which democracy prevailed. Before that, there were thousands of years of repression and slavery. A couple of lifetimes worth of an experiment doesn't show it will last forever. Nor will feminism last forever. This too shall pass. An aberration on the path of evolution. Evolution is the exception, extinction is the norm.
Wait a minute what does this have to do with the original question.
In the short history of mankind, yes MANKIND, on this earth, there has been only a short time in which democracy prevailed. Before that, there were thousands of years of repression and slavery. A couple of lifetimes worth of an experiment doesn't show it will last forever. Nor will feminism last forever. This too shall pass. An aberration on the path of evolution. Evolution is the exception, extinction is the norm.
Wait a minute what does this have to do with the original question.
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Wow! I'm amazed at all of the replies- some VERY helpful too. To answer some of the questions for me, I'm 44, she's 42. I was dating her for a year when we got married. I allowed my apartment lease to expire and then moved into her house- she had owned it for 6 years before I met her. I was divorced for 6 years after having been with my first wife for 8 years. I have no kids(I got fixed during my first marriage) and a relatively small personal credit card debt. (About 3k)She has hers, I have mine. I purposely kept it that way too and now you know why. I was NOT desperate to be married again- trust me, and my current wife pretty much approached me about getting married- no b.s. Most of her debt was incurred before we got married although she has tacked on about 8k to hers in the last year. I am for the most part laid-back, although my temper can be volcanic at times: No, I've never hit her or any other woman in my life although I did beat the hell out of a fan and lawn chair recently. Actually, I killed the fan. Hope this answers all of the questions. BTW, what is an AFC? I doubt its the American Football Conference and it probably ain't good. I also want to thank everyone for their replies- some pretty funny stuff too.
Danny...getting into an $8K debt in a matter of 12 months is a scary thought.danny62 said:
Let's assume she adds 25% of that per year? That's about $2K per year. That adds up. Let's say she dumps you and stop paying those bills...and let's say she dumps you in 5 years (or you dump her). That's what? $10K + the 8K for a total of $18K! Plus interests! How can YOU buy a new house like that? What about YOUR retirement?
Furthermore, you would be 50! And quite possibly, it might take you a year or two to recover from this hell. So, 52 and starting all over again.
It seems to me that you can actually sit down with her and try and put some logic in her brain, just for sake of the marriage. But my guess is that she is not going to change.
Then, you might want to consider doing some arrangments...such as making sure you are PROTECTED (e.g. credit cards, etc., etc. bank accounts...etc., etc.)
Men...you are a young man. You could have found a woman in her 30s!
penkitten
Master Don Juan
danny,
my husband and i have been together and living together about the same amount of time as you and your wife, however we didnt marry until june of 06.
if i were to put lets say 100-200 bucks on my credit card, he would roll his eyes at me, and i would know it would be my responsibility to repay those debts on my own credit. however, if i were to put any more than that on there, he would down right kick my ass. to be quite honest, all the debts on my credit cards are things i charged prior to our wedding to help pay for our wedding and honeymoon. (we paid for everything ourselves like most people do these days) we get our tax refund in a few days and i have already been instructed to pay my cards off in full, and to not use them again unless there is an dire emergency. he explained to me how high the interest rate is and thats why many people can not get them paid off. then he explained how anything that is charged needs to be paid off before the actual statement comes out in order not to incure interest charges. before this conversation, i thought that by paying the monthly payments, it would build my credit up. duh, gullible! perhaps your wife has never really had anyone explain it in a way that she could understand and thoughtfully before either. even though the credit cards are all in my name with my debts, you should see him, so happy to be out from under the debt of them , now that they will be paid in full in the very near future. i hope this helps.
my husband and i have been together and living together about the same amount of time as you and your wife, however we didnt marry until june of 06.
if i were to put lets say 100-200 bucks on my credit card, he would roll his eyes at me, and i would know it would be my responsibility to repay those debts on my own credit. however, if i were to put any more than that on there, he would down right kick my ass. to be quite honest, all the debts on my credit cards are things i charged prior to our wedding to help pay for our wedding and honeymoon. (we paid for everything ourselves like most people do these days) we get our tax refund in a few days and i have already been instructed to pay my cards off in full, and to not use them again unless there is an dire emergency. he explained to me how high the interest rate is and thats why many people can not get them paid off. then he explained how anything that is charged needs to be paid off before the actual statement comes out in order not to incure interest charges. before this conversation, i thought that by paying the monthly payments, it would build my credit up. duh, gullible! perhaps your wife has never really had anyone explain it in a way that she could understand and thoughtfully before either. even though the credit cards are all in my name with my debts, you should see him, so happy to be out from under the debt of them , now that they will be paid in full in the very near future. i hope this helps.
Penkitten...
Your husband did a great job explaining you things.
Remember, the HUGE difference between you (a 29-year old woman, recently married) and her (a 42-year old woman, with a history of debts, and a divorce). You changed because you were still learning the way. That woman is NOT going to change unless something drastic happens.
8,000 dollars in ONE year is RIDICULOUS and scary.
Your husband did a great job explaining you things.
Remember, the HUGE difference between you (a 29-year old woman, recently married) and her (a 42-year old woman, with a history of debts, and a divorce). You changed because you were still learning the way. That woman is NOT going to change unless something drastic happens.
8,000 dollars in ONE year is RIDICULOUS and scary.
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.