trouble relating to people

[david90]

What can I do? I can't make friends easily. I have a lot of aquatainces but no deep relationships.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

First and foremost, you need to find someone you are willing or highly interested in knowing on more than superficially. If you would like for someone to understand you deeply, you'll have to be willing to reciprocate.

 

[david90]

I had some close friends in HS and thinking back i'm not really sure how I became close to them. I guess I just go whereever they went.

 

[aBAzLLnA]

There are no such things as close friends in HS.

 

[TyTe`EyEs]

Originally posted by aBAzLLnA
There are no such things as close friends in HS.

I had one good friend my senior year. Better than zero I guess.

 

[Life-Trainee]

It requires effort on both sides. I've put a lot of effort into making friends in high school and i'm still friends with a handful of them.

Spending a lot of time and fun moments with your targets is difinately a must which becomes more difficult as you get older because of time constrants,family, jobs, etc.

In my experience the people who are likeminded to me are more likely to become close friends than those who just share abstract interests and follow a different life path.

But in the beginning stages of friendships it's important to take interest in what your target is doing.

 

[KillingTime]

I haven't had a friend in like 4 years or so... I'm outgoing confident etc., no problem with women but I couldn't make a guy friend if my life depended on it. I try every chance I get but it never turns into a friendship. SO i feel ya

 

[thefonz]

psychologically speaking, girls make friends to for emotional bondage.....guys make friends simply out of alliances, try to find a reason or common goal to alline yourself with another male, just don't think of it like..."I need a friend to talk to."

 

[penkitten]

friends...
choose qaulity over quanity.

 

[Alpine]

So what exactly have you tried, have you read up on the skill of making friends and tried them out?

Have you tried joining a few outside school clubs and meet people?

 

[CableLight]

Don't be so quick to throw away the serenity of solitude

Joking aside, it has been my understanding that the faster the thought about "having to make friends" leaves your mind, the faster you find them.

An amazing characteristic of animals, including humans, is our desire and instinct to find companions. This said, it sounds like you're looking too hard for something you don't know how to find.

What are your interests? Those who share them are, in my opinion, the easiest to befriend.

Play sports? Go to the gym and get in on a game.
Read? Hit a bookstore or, god forbid, the library.
Dance? Go to a dance.
Draw? Get in on a class or something.
Play music? Ask people to jam.

Look for things you have in common with people and know something about. There's a foundation and basis of conversation initiation (ah, poetry).

Going out to meet random people in random situations at random times produces random results. Going to specialized places with almost designated attendants is much more stable.