"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Tourettes :( :( :O :O :( :(

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Black_Italian

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Guys i have just been diagnosed with tourettes syndrome. My life is ruined how can i ever talk to a girl again?

For those of you not familiar with tourettes its a neurological disease were out of nowere i will start shouting and swearing for no apparent reason.

How can i ever have a normal conversation with a girl? this is what happend yesterday when my ex girl friend saw me.

Her: Heyyyyyyy how you been

Me: Great i havent see you in a FU*K FU*K ....FU*K TITTY SASQWATCH YETIIIIIII I AM A YETIIIIII

Her: :eek: what?

Me: hahahaha nothing im just kidding

Her: errrrrrrr right

Me: DILDOS VIBRATORS PUS*Y LIPS AND COONDOMS

Her: WTF were in a shoping center calm down

Me: Hahaha yeh im messing aroun so no seriously how you been?

Her: im ok are you sure your alright

Me: Yeh im fine i just havent been geting much sleep the last few PENIS have been hectic.

Her: What?

Me: what do you mean what?

Her: you said the last few penis

Me: No i didnt your crazy CRAZY WAZY PETER PETER PUMPKIN EATER WAKYYYY MICHAEL JACKSON IS A CYBORGGGGGG CAAAAAAAA CAAAAAAAA SL*T FACE

Her: (slaps me and walks away)

I dont know what to do my Master has even kicked me out of my DOJO please helps guys
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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spider_007

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Once was wierd, twice was funny, tree times is "ok what ever", but haw many freaking stupid posts are you gona make on her jackass:rolleyes: .:D
 
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Black_Italian

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when my gf decides she wants to have sex. She wants it to be perfect and she wants us to be in love.

Sooo theres going to be stupid posts to cure my boredom for a wile yet.

Ninja Out
 
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spider_007

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okkkkk, let me get this straight, your gona sit around waiting for your g/f to give you sex. Good luck with that. What happened with that HB10 with the didlo and porn...... I seriously don't know when your being honest and when you being an ass:p .
 
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Black_Italian

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THAT IS MY GF.....HB9.5 vibrators and porn. I tell her i want to go out with her she gets all happy and stuff blah blah blah.

You should have read my other post il bump it up and read it i CBF typing it all out again.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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spider_007

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do it like they did back in the day, club her over the head and drag her in the bed. (joking:D ) '

slow down next time.
 
C

Centaurion

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Please.

Do us a favour and end yourself.

You've just been spamming the boards with crap for the last week.
 
L

Lost In Translation

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what is going on ?

you ask about some muslim chick

now you got tourettes ?

this is all just a prank right ?

you are using the forum for your personal " special " sense of humour ?

you saying you are bored go outside in the sunshine and walk to the shops and buy a can of coke :)

ring up a friend and go around to their place and play xbox

i thought you said you have sex with your girlfriend 3 times a week ?

The sex isn’t a big issue i can have sex with her 3-4 times a week or sex with other girls. I got a number of **** buddies going at any one time.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=80417

you posted pics of your gf ?

you also said you having sex with other women

so whats up ?


Lost In Translation :D

**AUSTRALIAN STREET PIMP**
 
B

Black_Italian

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Maybe i should stop ostin bullsh*t out of boredom. It gets people mixed up with my real posts.

-My HB9.5 gf who wants to wait is real.

-The muslim girl is real.

-Yeh i got fu*k buddies but right now there inactive i have placed them on hold because of my GF

-I didnt say i was having sex with other women you mayb e misunderstood or i misstyped.

-My friends all work or have uni

Since i started going out with my Girl ive been boerd out of my mind. No sex and No going out makes me go CRAZY.

So i post some bullsh*t to get a laugh from some and more importantly to stir up some people. Atleast it cures my boredom for a lil wile.
 
L

Lost In Translation

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dude you live in Sydney

get out there and mix it up

make some friends who aren't at uni

get some unemployed friends

create chaos on your streets

**NOT ON THE FORUMS**


Lost In Translation :D

**AUSTRALIAN STREET PIMP**
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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spider_007

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Originally posted by Black_Italian
Since i started going out with my Girl ive been boerd out of my mind. No sex and No going out makes me go CRAZY.
Click to expand...
wasn't a "REALL MAN" suposed to have his own life, A life that has notting to do with his g/f. A hobby, something to keep him buissy. Some kinda interast.

Go get a hobby, Go get a life, Go do something other then piss around the internat,:p
 
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Black_Italian

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I did have a hobby till she came around a ruined it all :mad:. It was called hanging out with hot girls and having sex. Now i cant do this anymore.

I think i seriously am to young for a GF.
 
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