You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
She didn’t cheat or anything like that. She’s very loyal. Doesn’t go out partying that much-every once in a while for a friend’s birthday. Got a long with my family. So no “STUFF”."Stuff happened".... ??
I mean there is stuff.... and there STUFF....
You obviously care... Do you want to salvage the relationship ?
If not you have to go NC...
Yea, I admit I still care about her but that doesn’t mean I care about her in a romantic way.She isn't going to think you are indifferent by looking at her stories - she's going to think you still care. But who cares what she thinks anyway. Stop looking. Block her, and move on. You WILL do that one day. You can choose to do it now and get on with your life, or you can suffer a while longer. If you didn't still care to some degree, you wouldn't have any desire to look, but the fact that you are looking proves that you do.
In what way do you still care about her, and why?Yea, I admit I still care about her but that doesn’t mean I care about her in a romantic way.
What. Are you transforming into the nonsexual Daddy mode now? Stop the stalking and go complete NC…Yea, I admit I still care about her but that doesn’t mean I care about her in a romantic way.
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
How is that dad mode? You’ve never fallen out of love with a girl but still cared about her as a person?What. Are you transforming into the nonsexual Daddy mode now? Stop the stalking and go complete NC…
Still think you're in denial because you're definitely still in love with her.How is that dad mode? You’ve never fallen out of love with a girl but still cared about her as a person?
Right, but it prolongs a mans emotional healing time. Borders on masochism to keep doing it to yourself.Why does everyone keeps coming down on OP. I think it's more than normal to still be curious about an ex after a breakup.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Hold up. Y’all think this behavior is normal (looking at her every post knowing she can see that you’ve looked) ? Especially coming from someone who told their ex to move on? Isn’t this beyond curiosity at this point?Right, but it prolongs a mans emotional healing time. Borders on masochism to keep doing it to yourself.
Yep, like I said earlier it borders on masochism, but more probably it’s an obsession.Hold up. Y’all think this behavior is normal (looking at her every post knowing she can see that you’ve looked) ? Especially coming from someone who told their ex to move on? Isn’t this beyond curiosity at this point?
And going out of their way to post on an internet forum asking for advice about it?Hold up. Y’all think this behavior is normal (looking at her every post knowing she can see that you’ve looked) ? Especially coming from someone who told their ex to move on? Isn’t this beyond curiosity at this point?
That's the thing though I have moved on. I'd rather be single than with someone who makes me have doubt.To a man of VALUE, time is a precious commodity.. Why would you waste another 6 months or a year of your time, being curious about your ex and SLOWING down the healing process!
In the end, she is going to MOVE ON.. and you are going to move on.. So why waste anymore time lingering over her posts, her pics, obsessing about her.
Yes it's a hard thing to do, especially when you have emotionally bonded with a person.
So why not just take on board the advice given, from people who have been in this exact situation and have managed to get over an ex, the quickest and easiest way possible.
If op applied full NC on all platforms, including social media, he could be over this chick in no time, and using his time better spent on things that really matter!
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
I have moved on from my ex too.. Do you know how many times I check her Insta or her social media? NEVERThat's the thing though I have moved on. I'd rather be single than with someone who makes me have doubt.
This!I have moved on from my ex too.. Do you know how many times I check her Insta or her social media? NEVER
Got better chit to do!
She posts a few times a day. Almost every day. Music, her dog, etc. and I'll look at just about everyone.This!
OP, just out of curiosity how often does she post and how often do you look?
That’s obsessive behavior in an attempt to keep your internal emotional connection with her.She posts a few times a day. Almost every day. Music, her dog, etc. and I'll look at just about everyone.
Not to say I disagree with you, but why not just speak up if that's the case?Obsessive behavior in an attempt to keep an emotional connection with her.
Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.
I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.
Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules. Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.