Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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To the dudes mack'n on dating sites, a mini-case study.

Johnnyventana

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My good friend since HS is trying out Match.com. Last night she and some dude emailed and he asked for her number.

This morning he sent her a, "hope you have a great day text." My friend really was happy about that, though wondered if it was too much, too soon. Yet, still, it made her morning. She was excited.

Then tonight, the dude texts her again asking, "how was your day?'

My friend immediately calls me all freaked out thinking he may be crazy! I explained that she should be careful, but that he may simply be AFC. And that him having 'no game' was actually good for her, anyways. ;)

It was very interesting in that a. Yesterday was their first ever email exchange. And b. He made her super excited this morning but ruined it completely by then texting again too soon tonight -- since they don't even know each other and thus however nice, he came off creepy.

Anyway, a cautionary tale for those on the dating site. Be cool.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Alex DeLarge

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J Roc said:
dating sites are lame
agreed. I work and go to school full time. I still have time to meet chicks in real life if I feel like it.
 

Johnnyventana

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Actually in her case, I am glad she is doing it. I have never done a dating site myself. I did think this was a good tale though for those who are a little too persistent and eager. And it is an interesting perspective from the chick side.
 

Zarky

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What's interesting about the OP is not the online dating stuff but the fact that there's such a fine balance in seducing a chick. The whole "how was your day" thing is a little too much for someone you've never even met.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Johnnyventana

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Exactly Zarky. Less is more. Wow them in person. Save the over-doing-it texting for 15 year old girls.
 

cola

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I dont think it was that creepy a little aggressive maybe. Shes reading in to it too much.
 
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