"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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To the dudes mack'n on dating sites, a mini-case study.

Johnnyventana

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My good friend since HS is trying out Match.com. Last night she and some dude emailed and he asked for her number.

This morning he sent her a, "hope you have a great day text." My friend really was happy about that, though wondered if it was too much, too soon. Yet, still, it made her morning. She was excited.

Then tonight, the dude texts her again asking, "how was your day?'

My friend immediately calls me all freaked out thinking he may be crazy! I explained that she should be careful, but that he may simply be AFC. And that him having 'no game' was actually good for her, anyways. ;)

It was very interesting in that a. Yesterday was their first ever email exchange. And b. He made her super excited this morning but ruined it completely by then texting again too soon tonight -- since they don't even know each other and thus however nice, he came off creepy.

Anyway, a cautionary tale for those on the dating site. Be cool.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Alex DeLarge

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J Roc said:
dating sites are lame
agreed. I work and go to school full time. I still have time to meet chicks in real life if I feel like it.
 

Johnnyventana

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Actually in her case, I am glad she is doing it. I have never done a dating site myself. I did think this was a good tale though for those who are a little too persistent and eager. And it is an interesting perspective from the chick side.
 

Zarky

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What's interesting about the OP is not the online dating stuff but the fact that there's such a fine balance in seducing a chick. The whole "how was your day" thing is a little too much for someone you've never even met.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Johnnyventana

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Exactly Zarky. Less is more. Wow them in person. Save the over-doing-it texting for 15 year old girls.
 

cola

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I dont think it was that creepy a little aggressive maybe. Shes reading in to it too much.
 
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