"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

Tip request: When she starts turning up the heat on commitment.

BeExcellent

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 16, 2015
Messages
5,417
Reaction score
7,944
Age
57
Advice from the old lady:

Plates break. If OP doesn’t want to meet her needs then he risks losing her as he already knows. No woman worth having will put up with plate status for any length of time.

So if you don’t want a GF you are on borrowed time already. I do not like to share a man. It is not possible to build something truly deep & meaningful while a relationship is not a closed system. I will not tolerate plate status for long nor will others who are worthwhile as a good partner.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

BackInTheGame78

Moderator
Joined
Sep 10, 2014
Messages
16,969
Reaction score
19,283
Here's the deal...you can keep deflecting things with a woman but at some point either you will end up making her your GF or she will find someone who will.

The problem is that guys who want to keep her around as a plate don't seem to understand there is a shelf life for that status and that if she wants more you will either give it to her or she will find someone else who will.

Not saying to make a decision based on that at all, just keep in mind if you only want her as a plate, this will only work for so long. How long is dependant on several things, but usually will only last 3-6 months max.
 

BedSwerver

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 11, 2021
Messages
18
Reaction score
8
Age
45
Location
Ohio Valley
It’s not about being elite or getting anything you desire. It’s about if a woman can make a man’s head spin at 40, real life would chew him up and spit him out.
Badboy, look into RolloTomasi and his concept of plate spinning. This is what I was referring to in the OP. Have a good day!
 

BedSwerver

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 11, 2021
Messages
18
Reaction score
8
Age
45
Location
Ohio Valley
Here's the deal...you can keep deflecting things with a woman but at some point either you will end up making her your GF or she will find someone who will.

The problem is that guys who want to keep her around as a plate don't seem to understand there is a shelf life for that status and that if she wants more you will either give it to her or she will find someone else who will.

Not saying to make a decision based on that at all, just keep in mind if you only want her as a plate, this will only work for so long. How long is dependant on several things, but usually will only last 3-6 months max.
Appreciate it
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Top