"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Thrown into friend zone ?

Metro3pilot

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went to a carnival with a girl I work with, I paid for the first rides, then when we went back to get more tickets she offered to pay and when I said that's all right I will get it, she said " you don't have to pay for everything this is not a date " DOH ! ! ! !

guess I was mistaken because I thought it was
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Vulpine

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Prescribed reading:

http://www.sosuave.com/articles/overreact.htm

It dwells a bit on a specific situation, but you can get a lot out of it.

I also just read someting about "don't go on 'dates'", but I can't seem to find it now.

Perhaps she read that too. Don't call them dates - it attaches expectations and promotes qualifying/disqualifying. Dates aren't fun, they're akward. Be glad she didn't call it a date, it means she was having fun.

Anyway, I call sh!t test on that. How did you react? That's the important factor here.
 

Metro3pilot

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I did not really react to it at all .... my attitude towards her did not change, kept smiling and kept laughing .... it was still a good time..... minus the kiss close ....
 

Vulpine

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RedPill

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I think there are some fundamental equations that may have been ignored here:

Time spent with a woman (just the two of you) + fun activity = friend zone

Time spent with a woman + fun activity + teasing/flirting/kino/EC/tension = fvck zone

Unless you plan on quitting your job soon, don't pursue sex with this woman. Drop her in your mind as a target. If anything, if she's hot, bring her around places as social proof while you game other chicks. However, if your desire for her is too strong to simply drop her as a target, don't do this as it will mess with your head being around her in social situations.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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CompleteControl

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Metro3pilot said:
went to a carnival with a girl I work with, I paid for the first rides, then when we went back to get more tickets she offered to pay and when I said that's all right I will get it, she said " you don't have to pay for everything this is not a date " DOH ! ! ! !

guess I was mistaken because I thought it was
A couple of things:

To go from friend/coworker to sex partner is very doable. To go from girlfriend, door mat, chump to sex partner is extremely difficult.

I don't label spending time with a women as a date - it raises expectations unnecessarily.

When you rearrange the way you approach your interaction with women you can let her pay without comment and if she seemed to expect you to pay you say to her "it's not like this is a date". (then she can keep wondering to herself "doesn't he want me?"

Good job not overreacting. If anything like this happens I just laugh and keep her wondering what I am thinking. If she pressed me I would say something like "I thought it was two people having a fun time together"
; "I'm not sure I like you that much yet"; "I hadn't thought about it, but I don't close myself off to enjoying another person or to experiencing intimacy for superficial reasons, until I feel I know them on a much deeper level, do you?"
 
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