"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

Thrown into friend zone ?

Metro3pilot

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Oct 11, 2005
Messages
335
Reaction score
9
Age
56
went to a carnival with a girl I work with, I paid for the first rides, then when we went back to get more tickets she offered to pay and when I said that's all right I will get it, she said " you don't have to pay for everything this is not a date " DOH ! ! ! !

guess I was mistaken because I thought it was
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

Read more...

Vulpine

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 18, 2006
Messages
2,514
Reaction score
134
Age
51
Location
The Castle Fox
Prescribed reading:

http://www.sosuave.com/articles/overreact.htm

It dwells a bit on a specific situation, but you can get a lot out of it.

I also just read someting about "don't go on 'dates'", but I can't seem to find it now.

Perhaps she read that too. Don't call them dates - it attaches expectations and promotes qualifying/disqualifying. Dates aren't fun, they're akward. Be glad she didn't call it a date, it means she was having fun.

Anyway, I call sh!t test on that. How did you react? That's the important factor here.
 

Metro3pilot

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Oct 11, 2005
Messages
335
Reaction score
9
Age
56
I did not really react to it at all .... my attitude towards her did not change, kept smiling and kept laughing .... it was still a good time..... minus the kiss close ....
 

Vulpine

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 18, 2006
Messages
2,514
Reaction score
134
Age
51
Location
The Castle Fox

RedPill

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 13, 2005
Messages
791
Reaction score
50
Location
Midwest America
I think there are some fundamental equations that may have been ignored here:

Time spent with a woman (just the two of you) + fun activity = friend zone

Time spent with a woman + fun activity + teasing/flirting/kino/EC/tension = fvck zone

Unless you plan on quitting your job soon, don't pursue sex with this woman. Drop her in your mind as a target. If anything, if she's hot, bring her around places as social proof while you game other chicks. However, if your desire for her is too strong to simply drop her as a target, don't do this as it will mess with your head being around her in social situations.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

CompleteControl

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 30, 2006
Messages
59
Reaction score
3
Metro3pilot said:
went to a carnival with a girl I work with, I paid for the first rides, then when we went back to get more tickets she offered to pay and when I said that's all right I will get it, she said " you don't have to pay for everything this is not a date " DOH ! ! ! !

guess I was mistaken because I thought it was
A couple of things:

To go from friend/coworker to sex partner is very doable. To go from girlfriend, door mat, chump to sex partner is extremely difficult.

I don't label spending time with a women as a date - it raises expectations unnecessarily.

When you rearrange the way you approach your interaction with women you can let her pay without comment and if she seemed to expect you to pay you say to her "it's not like this is a date". (then she can keep wondering to herself "doesn't he want me?"

Good job not overreacting. If anything like this happens I just laugh and keep her wondering what I am thinking. If she pressed me I would say something like "I thought it was two people having a fun time together"
; "I'm not sure I like you that much yet"; "I hadn't thought about it, but I don't close myself off to enjoying another person or to experiencing intimacy for superficial reasons, until I feel I know them on a much deeper level, do you?"
 
Top