Thrown into friend zone ?

[Metro3pilot]

went to a carnival with a girl I work with, I paid for the first rides, then when we went back to get more tickets she offered to pay and when I said that's all right I will get it, she said " you don't have to pay for everything this is not a date " DOH ! ! ! !

guess I was mistaken because I thought it was

 

[Vulpine]

Prescribed reading:

http://www.sosuave.com/articles/overreact.htm

It dwells a bit on a specific situation, but you can get a lot out of it.

I also just read someting about "don't go on 'dates'", but I can't seem to find it now.

Perhaps she read that too. Don't call them dates - it attaches expectations and promotes qualifying/disqualifying. Dates aren't fun, they're akward. Be glad she didn't call it a date, it means she was having fun.

Anyway, I call sh!t test on that. How did you react? That's the important factor here.

 

[Metro3pilot]

I did not really react to it at all .... my attitude towards her did not change, kept smiling and kept laughing .... it was still a good time..... minus the kiss close ....

 

[Vulpine]

Ahhh... a girl you work with. I don't think you were EVER out of the friend zone, you gotta be out to be thrown back in.

Here's your help then:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=43174&highlight=escaping+friend+zone

 

[RedPill]

I think there are some fundamental equations that may have been ignored here:

Time spent with a woman (just the two of you) + fun activity = friend zone

Time spent with a woman + fun activity + teasing/flirting/kino/EC/tension = fvck zone

Unless you plan on quitting your job soon, don't pursue sex with this woman. Drop her in your mind as a target. If anything, if she's hot, bring her around places as social proof while you game other chicks. However, if your desire for her is too strong to simply drop her as a target, don't do this as it will mess with your head being around her in social situations.

 

[CompleteControl]

went to a carnival with a girl I work with, I paid for the first rides, then when we went back to get more tickets she offered to pay and when I said that's all right I will get it, she said " you don't have to pay for everything this is not a date " DOH ! ! ! !

guess I was mistaken because I thought it was

A couple of things:

To go from friend/coworker to sex partner is very doable. To go from girlfriend, door mat, chump to sex partner is extremely difficult.

I don't label spending time with a women as a date - it raises expectations unnecessarily.

When you rearrange the way you approach your interaction with women you can let her pay without comment and if she seemed to expect you to pay you say to her "it's not like this is a date". (then she can keep wondering to herself "doesn't he want me?"

Good job not overreacting. If anything like this happens I just laugh and keep her wondering what I am thinking. If she pressed me I would say something like "I thought it was two people having a fun time together"
; "I'm not sure I like you that much yet"; "I hadn't thought about it, but I don't close myself off to enjoying another person or to experiencing intimacy for superficial reasons, until I feel I know them on a much deeper level, do you?"