Thoughts on "early" drink dates?

[BPH]

I'm gonna tag @Glassguy in this because I know he has a very similar MO.

I've got a date tonight with a girl who seems pretty interested...BUT...when I suggested we grab drinks at 10PM, she told me she's usually in bed by that time, and asked if we could do something earlier, like 8PM. She says she would like to be on her way home by 10PM because she wants to wake up for yoga in the morning.

Now I'm debating whether to bother going, and here's why...

To me, this communicates she has a set cutoff for how late the night could go, which tells me that even if we hit it off, it's probably not going to escalate very far. In my mind, if she wanted to, she would - as in she would be willing to stay out later and make an exception to her usual schedule, to see how well the night could go.

If I flipped the scenario and let's say my dream girl asked me out, but I had some sort of obligation, I would move my schedule around to accommodate it more easily, or make an exception to something that I do regularly, where I could just go at another time. Case in point, I wanted to visit my brother in New York on Friday, so I skipped my cardio at the gym to avoid the traffic, and I will be doing it today instead.

Maybe I'm overthinking this, but I don't really want to waste my night on somebody who's telling me how it's going to end when I could instead just go out somewhere and see if I like anybody.

 

[Velasco]

If I flipped the scenario and let's say my dream girl asked me out, but I had some sort of obligation, I would move my schedule around to accommodate it more easily, or make an exception to something that I do regularly, where I could just go at another time. Case in point, I wanted to visit my brother in New York on Friday, so I skipped my cardio at the gym to avoid the traffic, and I will be doing it today instead.

that’s because your a guy. women don’t think like that. especially when it’s comes to sexual matters. they’re quite stubborn about shi like that. even if they’re really really really attracted to you.

as for the girl in question. i happen to lay a girl like this last year. every time id try to arrange a meet up when i texted after 9pm, her notifications went on silence and she was already on her way to falling asleep (would text me back at 8am the next morning). this kept going on and on and i assumed it was because she wasn’t actually interested in meeting and was just wasting my time.so all i did was pick a day where i wouldn’t be in the morning. and had her meet me at 2pm. she agreed. came straight to my place and we fvcked.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I have done drink dates starting at 7 or 8 many times, especially on non-weekend days.

Not really my thing to stay up super late, I'd rather get sleep and keep my health right.

 

[viking22]

This is the problem with dating modern women. They all go to bed early, have early morning gym classes, do not drink much and are generally pretty structured.

 

[BadBoy89]

I don't really want to waste my night on somebody who's telling me how it's going to end

Decent point.

Almost have to tell her that without using those words.

 

[Clockwerk50]

Does this situation and this woman have the same demeanor, or is it similar to how things went with your LR-100 or the girl from Arizona?


You might already have the answer to your situation based on your past experiences with them.

LR - 100

Alright, we've hit the triple digits, and I think this deserves its own story. I recognize this as something of a milestone. I didn't learn seduction to hit this number specifically, but it is a byproduct of learning these skills, coupled with my desire to experience a variety of women. Some of...

www.sosuave.net

 

[Sega Genesis]

@BPH did you meet on an app?

If so many women prefer an earlier time as they're not viewing it as a "date" per se, it's a first "meet" to determine vibe and chemistry.

If you're vibing and the in-person chemistry is there, you can always extend it.

Given this has happened to you before and it seems to be an issue, try and ease up a bit.

You've never even met the girl, again assuming you met on an app I don't know.

In any event, thinking about her ending her night with you is a bit presumptuous under the circumstances. It places too much unnecessary pressure on something that should be light and fun!

Meet in person at a reasonable time and let things happen organically, do not overthink or have some sort of pre-set plan or expectation.

Again if you're vibing well, you (both) can always extend it. End up spending the night together, whatever.

TBH if it were me and a guy were making this such an issue, *I* wouid have declined.

$.02

 

[Solomon]

I had a date at 4pm on Thursday but than I'm cool with playing the long game, the Thursday date now will be a "Harry Potter and Pizza date" on tueday at my place

I also got a chick who is coming over tonight at 10pm

Obviously OP you trying to slay personally for me I go in every date knowing that it's not guaranteed even if a chick comes to my house.

 

[Velasco]

I go in every date knowing that it's not guaranteed even if a chick comes to my house.

in his situation it’s not a 50/50 maybe i’ll smash maybe i won’t. it’s 90/10 i won’t smash. rather than go into a low odds situation, have it where the odds are in ur favor, where the odds of smashing this particular girl (i have girls that don’t come over to my place until 2am) are much more likely

 

[Solomon]

in his situation it’s not a 50/50 maybe i’ll smash maybe i won’t. it’s 90/10 i won’t smash. rather than go into a low odds situation, have it where the odds are in ur favor, where the odds of smashing this particular girl (i have girls that don’t come over to my place until 2am) are much more likely

I get it and your 50/50 90/10 analogy is on point so I actually agree with you in this situation if OP is trying to slay I'd pass (been there done that)


With my 4pm date the girl starts work at 7AM. I had Thursday off so it was a quick date(plus I don't like to be out past 9 on weekdays-yeah I'm getting older) just one hour and $20 for drinks, including tip.
The girl coming over tonight is a first meet and she is DTF

The key here for me now that I'm in my 40s is I keep a funnel of different chicks so I’m more patient nowadays. I’m not trying to knock it out the park like I used to on the first night.

I actually enjoy the chase a bit more as I get older. This may sound counter-intuitive, but I sometimes get bored when a girl gives it up too fast.

Once again in this situation if he's trying to knock it out the park yeah he's wasting his time