Thoughts on "early" drink dates?

[BPH]

I'm gonna tag @Glassguy in this because I know he has a very similar MO.

I've got a date tonight with a girl who seems pretty interested...BUT...when I suggested we grab drinks at 10PM, she told me she's usually in bed by that time, and asked if we could do something earlier, like 8PM. She says she would like to be on her way home by 10PM because she wants to wake up for yoga in the morning.

Now I'm debating whether to bother going, and here's why...

To me, this communicates she has a set cutoff for how late the night could go, which tells me that even if we hit it off, it's probably not going to escalate very far. In my mind, if she wanted to, she would - as in she would be willing to stay out later and make an exception to her usual schedule, to see how well the night could go.

If I flipped the scenario and let's say my dream girl asked me out, but I had some sort of obligation, I would move my schedule around to accommodate it more easily, or make an exception to something that I do regularly, where I could just go at another time. Case in point, I wanted to visit my brother in New York on Friday, so I skipped my cardio at the gym to avoid the traffic, and I will be doing it today instead.

Maybe I'm overthinking this, but I don't really want to waste my night on somebody who's telling me how it's going to end when I could instead just go out somewhere and see if I like anybody.

 

[Velasco]

If I flipped the scenario and let's say my dream girl asked me out, but I had some sort of obligation, I would move my schedule around to accommodate it more easily, or make an exception to something that I do regularly, where I could just go at another time. Case in point, I wanted to visit my brother in New York on Friday, so I skipped my cardio at the gym to avoid the traffic, and I will be doing it today instead.

that’s because your a guy. women don’t think like that. especially when it’s comes to sexual matters. they’re quite stubborn about shi like that. even if they’re really really really attracted to you.

as for the girl in question. i happen to lay a girl like this last year. every time id try to arrange a meet up when i texted after 9pm, her notifications went on silence and she was already on her way to falling asleep (would text me back at 8am the next morning). this kept going on and on and i assumed it was because she wasn’t actually interested in meeting and was just wasting my time.so all i did was pick a day where i wouldn’t be in the morning. and had her meet me at 2pm. she agreed. came straight to my place and we fvcked.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I have done drink dates starting at 7 or 8 many times, especially on non-weekend days.

Not really my thing to stay up super late, I'd rather get sleep and keep my health right.

 

[viking22]

This is the problem with dating modern women. They all go to bed early, have early morning gym classes, do not drink much and are generally pretty structured.

 

[BadBoy89]

I don't really want to waste my night on somebody who's telling me how it's going to end

Decent point.

Almost have to tell her that without using those words.

 

[Clockwerk50]

Does this situation and this woman have the same demeanor, or is it similar to how things went with your LR-100 or the girl from Arizona?


You might already have the answer to your situation based on your past experiences with them.

LR - 100

Alright, we've hit the triple digits, and I think this deserves its own story. I recognize this as something of a milestone. I didn't learn seduction to hit this number specifically, but it is a byproduct of learning these skills, coupled with my desire to experience a variety of women. Some of...

www.sosuave.net

 

[Sega Genesis]

@BPH did you meet on an app?

If so many women prefer an earlier time as they're not viewing it as a "date" per se, it's a first "meet" to determine vibe and chemistry.

If you're vibing and the in-person chemistry is there, you can always extend it.

Given this has happened to you before and it seems to be an issue, try and ease up a bit.

You've never even met the girl, again assuming you met on an app I don't know.

In any event, thinking about her ending her night with you is a bit presumptuous under the circumstances. It places too much unnecessary pressure on something that should be light and fun!

Meet in person at a reasonable time and let things happen organically, do not overthink or have some sort of pre-set plan or expectation.

Again if you're vibing well, you (both) can always extend it. End up spending the night together, whatever.

TBH if it were me and a guy were making this such an issue, *I* wouid have declined.

$.02

 

[Solomon]

I had a date at 4pm on Thursday but than I'm cool with playing the long game, the Thursday date now will be a "Harry Potter and Pizza date" on tueday at my place

I also got a chick who is coming over tonight at 10pm

Obviously OP you trying to slay personally for me I go in every date knowing that it's not guaranteed even if a chick comes to my house.

 

[Velasco]

I go in every date knowing that it's not guaranteed even if a chick comes to my house.

in his situation it’s not a 50/50 maybe i’ll smash maybe i won’t. it’s 90/10 i won’t smash. rather than go into a low odds situation, have it where the odds are in ur favor, where the odds of smashing this particular girl (i have girls that don’t come over to my place until 2am) are much more likely

 

[Solomon]

in his situation it’s not a 50/50 maybe i’ll smash maybe i won’t. it’s 90/10 i won’t smash. rather than go into a low odds situation, have it where the odds are in ur favor, where the odds of smashing this particular girl (i have girls that don’t come over to my place until 2am) are much more likely

I get it and your 50/50 90/10 analogy is on point so I actually agree with you in this situation if OP is trying to slay I'd pass (been there done that)


With my 4pm date the girl starts work at 7AM. I had Thursday off so it was a quick date(plus I don't like to be out past 9 on weekdays-yeah I'm getting older) just one hour and $20 for drinks, including tip.
The girl coming over tonight is a first meet and she is DTF

The key here for me now that I'm in my 40s is I keep a funnel of different chicks so I’m more patient nowadays. I’m not trying to knock it out the park like I used to on the first night.

I actually enjoy the chase a bit more as I get older. This may sound counter-intuitive, but I sometimes get bored when a girl gives it up too fast.

Once again in this situation if he's trying to knock it out the park yeah he's wasting his time

 

[Sega Genesis]

Once again in this situation if he's trying to knock it out the park yeah he's wasting his time.

^^This is fair. So why not cut to the chase and ask if she wants to hook up? Versus this ambiguous "let's meet at 10:00" and expect her to figure out your agenda is to get laid?

Why frame it like a "date" with drinks? You don't want to waste your time which I understand but what about HER time?

She is most likely viewing this as a first meet (or date) perhaps leading to something significant and your goal is hooking up!

Which again is absolutely fine but why not cut out all the preliminary BS and ask straight out if she wants to hook up?

Plenty of women wouid be up for that; I recall one of your LRs wherein after meeting at the restaurant SHE was the one who wanted to ditch drinks and head straight to the room.

Mode One wouid be perfect in this type of sitch. Wouid save both of you time and you, in all likelihood, money.

It wouid be more honest too imo.

 

[Solomon]

^^This is fair. So why not cut to the chase and ask if she wants to hook up?

Why frame it like a "date" with drinks? You don't want to waste your time which I understand but what about HER time?

She is most likely viewing this as a first meet (or date) perhaps leading to something significant and you're goal is hooking up!

Which again is absolutely fine but why not cut out all the preliminary BS and ask straight out if she wants to hook up?

Plenty of women wouid be up for that; I recall one of your LRs wherein after meeting at the restaurant SHE was the one who wanted to ditch drinks and head straight to the room.

Mode One wouid be perfect in this type of sitch. Wouid save both of you time and you, in all likelihood, money.

It wouid be more honest too imo.

I agree with you on this, but let me push back a bit. Even if a woman is down to hook up on the first night, she often doesn't want to feel like a slore. A lot of them still want the man to take her out for a drink, even if she knows what's up.

I have a buddy who hasn't taken a woman out on a date since 2019. Girls are still willing to come straight to his house, usually in the 4-7 range, sometimes an 8 or 9. It works for him because he's handsome. A guy who is a 5 isn't going to get women to come straight to his place to bang using mode one (not consistently unless they are 2s and 4s)

 

[Velasco]

why not cut out all the preliminary BS and ask straight out if she wants to hook up?

because not every girl is ok with going straight to a guys (someone they just met) place to fvck right away. even if they think there’s a possibility of sex, some girls need some type of plausible deniability to put their hamster spinning in their heads asleep (“see im not a slut? he wants to go to a restaurant/bar and get smth to eat/drinks and vibe”). and then at the bar you build up the tension/relive their nerves about going to a guys place, where they’re no longer worried about coming across as a slvt, and pull.

 

[Sega Genesis]

I agree with you on this, but let me push back a bit. Even if a woman is down to hook up on the first night, she often doesn't want to feel like a slore. A lot of them still want the man to take her out for a drink, even if she knows what's up.

I have a buddy who hasn't taken a woman out on a date since 2019. Girls are still willing to come straight to his house, usually in the 4-7 range, sometimes an 8 or 9. It works for him because he's handsome. A guy who is a 5 isn't going to get women to come straight to his place to bang using mode one (not consistently unless they are 2s and 4s)

Again fair but who are we kidding? Women (most not all lol) aren't stupid, a guy asking for drinks at 10:00 pm and then pushing back when she suggests earlier; any woman with two brain cells is gonna know what's up.

I wouid and wouid have declined since I am not into casual "hook ups" as I said. But plenty of women are!

But okay do the "date with drinks" dance, if she goes for it, it's the same outcome anyway.

I'm curious how tonight's date ultimately went down!

 

[tksniper]

^^This is fair. So why not cut to the chase and ask if she wants to hook up? Versus this ambiguous "let's meet at 10:00" and expect her to figure out your agenda is to get laid?

Why frame it like a "date" with drinks? You don't want to waste your time which I understand but what about HER time?

She is most likely viewing this as a first meet (or date) perhaps leading to something significant and your goal is hooking up!

Which again is absolutely fine but why not cut out all the preliminary BS and ask straight out if she wants to hook up?

Plenty of women wouid be up for that; I recall one of your LRs wherein after meeting at the restaurant SHE was the one who wanted to ditch drinks and head straight to the room.

Mode One wouid be perfect in this type of sitch. Wouid save both of you time and you, in all likelihood, money.

It wouid be more honest too imo.

I would agree with this. Why try to plot and scheme when you know you’re an attractive guy and you could just invite her over or be upfront with being “casual.” Why do guys insist on playing a “game” and using “techniques” when people are having sex every 6 seconds?

This looks like a negotiation now where one is trying to get over on the other one.

You see her as short term and she might see you as long terms, hence the negotiations.

I just cut straight to the chase and offer a casual encounter. It’s literally impossible for me to constantly get rejected. I play it like a numbers game and the end result is we both wanted to fvck each other.

And if you’re a physically attractive guy and constantly finding yourself in negotiation battles, that’s a sign of another problem. Perhaps you’re too entrenched in seeking to external validation.

A good looking guy who is internally validated gets hit on by hot women EFFORTLESSLY.

He doesn’t need to go on a dating advice site bickering about 8 pm vs 10 pm. He’s too busy getting laid.

 

[Velasco]

But okay do the "date with drinks" dance, if she goes for it, it's the same outcome anyway. They hook up.

she won’t because the odds are she’ll say she has to get up early in the morning for yoga which she already told him about, after their date concludes. which is a situation he’s trying to avoid.

Women aren't stupid, a guy asking for drinks at 10:00 pm and then pushing back when she suggests earlier, any woman with two brain cells is gonna know what's up.

lol

when I suggested we grab drinks at 10PM, she told me she's usually in bed by that time, and asked if we could do something earlier, like 8PM. She says she would like to be on her way home by 10PM because she wants to wake up for yoga in the morning

you respond. “ohh that’s fair. i don’t get out of work tn until 9pm so that’s why i suggested at 10 but we could do another time. what’s ur schedule look like the next couple of days?” since we already know she’s a 10pm in bed girl, ur looking for a day where you know your schedule is free from afternoon-night. giving you plenty of time to seduce her on the date.

I wouid and wouid decline since I am not into "hook ups."

well yeah mode one is a low odds strategy

 

[sevbucmash]

That's a sh*t test. Trying to find out if you're alpha, good to fk with, or beta. You pass it by not going on date with her. Let her call you up later and try setting up something with you. F*ck her and her yoga.

 

[tksniper]

@BPH did you meet on an app?

If so many women prefer an earlier time as they're not viewing it as a "date" per se, it's a first "meet" to determine vibe and chemistry.

If you're vibing and the in-person chemistry is there, you can always extend it.

Given this has happened to you before and it seems to be an issue, try and ease up a bit.

You've never even met the girl, again assuming you met on an app I don't know.

In any event, thinking about her ending her night with you is a bit presumptuous under the circumstances. It places too much unnecessary pressure on something that should be light and fun!

Meet in person at a reasonable time and let things happen organically, do not overthink or have some sort of pre-set plan or expectation.

Again if you're vibing well, you (both) can always extend it. End up spending the night together, whatever.

TBH if it were me and a guy were making this such an issue, *I* wouid have declined.

$.02

From the posts you read on this forum, I think you know as a woman who actually is a Don Juan and who’s trying to be a Don Juan. Women always know. They have an intuitive sense. So don’t be afraid to call out the fake Juan’s. The forum might turn against you. But it’s only because they don’t want to know how women really think. They want to project their own “masculine” mindset to women.

What I’ve learned from my life is that women can always see right through me. As soon as I show up, they instantly know if I’m value offering or a low value energy sucker.

This is 100% emotional eq, or emotional intelligence . C’mon guys, you think nature wouldn’t equip women with a sharp EQ radar? It is essential to our survival lol. Women simply cannot fvck low value energy suckers. That would mean the end of civilization.

Women have the perfect radar for “value.” And the most high value offering man is the most attractive man. This is the way and the life. So follow these words, my brethren. And it will not lead you astray. And as you go through the valleys and shadows of death, know that you have value. You will be awarded with abundance and your cup will runneth full. Amen and amen. (I obviously stole that from the bible but fvck it, the words made sense).

 

[BackInTheGame78]

This is the problem with dating modern women. They all go to bed early, have early morning gym classes, do not drink much and are generally pretty structured.

Why is that a problem? That is prioritizing your health.

 

[Velasco]

They have an intuitive sense. What I’ve learned from my life is that women can always see right through me. As soon as I show up, they instantly know if I’m value offering or a low value energy sucker.

ur spot on. their intuitive sense (that cute lil hamster spinning their wheels in their brain lol h/t roissy) is quite sharp. something every “real DJ knows to be true. fortunately for DJs, they are blessed (by nature or learned) with a stealth weapon that puts that cute lil hamster to sleep for a lil bit and get what they want from people (whether that’s sexual relations, work relations etc etc) regardless if both parties get the outcome they were seeking. as long as DJ gets what he wants. seduction is amoral.