"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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This is a doozy help needed so I don't make myself look bad

tennisbuck12

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Gents

The lady I was dating recently broke up with me. It happened quick and thinks were going great. **** happens.

Last Sunday I was at a bar near her house I never go to. I had a buddy who lives near there and I figured since it was a sports bar no chance I would run into her.

Well as I'm leaving I thought I heard her and saw her in the booth behind me. So I checked my phone since I snapped a selfie of me when I got home and I **** you not her ex fiancé was in the pic. What a photo bomb. For Xmas I gave her a 400 dollar coat

Would there be anything wrong texting her to ask if she was at the bar on Sunday
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Serenity

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What? You thought you heard and saw her, then you spotted her ex fiancé in your selfie? Was he located around where you thought you heard and saw her?

You figured there was no chance of running into her, but would she have a problem with you going to a bar with a friend?

I feel like there's some missing information here.
 

tennisbuck12

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I was there with a group of my friends. I never go here it was just a coincidence. I'm almost 100 percent it was her
 

Serenity

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Yeah, but what I wanted to know is if her ex fiancé was around her. This isn't clear from your description of the situation, just that he got into the selfie you took and was in the same bar. Were they talking or something is what I want to know, if they were I would just move on. Not sure what you really want help with here?

That 400 dollar coat is likely lost though.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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tennisbuck12

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I sort of just want to let her know, I get why she wasn't into us the whole time since I would imagine he was in the pic all 4 months
 

Serenity

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Sure go ahead, but you won't get anything good out of it. I would advise against it and just move on.
 

tennisbuck12

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I thought so. I was just going to say hey I thought I saw you at this bar on Sunday. Drop it at that
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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badboyjmm

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I think you just want to text her by using an excuse. You know it was her at the bar and she broke up with you.

So yeah, she was potentially cheating on you, but it's over now.

So I don't really understand why are you trying to accomplish by texting her...
 
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