This Forum is Depressing AF

GrowingPains

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^^I didn't want to put you on blast too much, but at one point, I think you had posted the exact same post like half a dozen times in a row. It was literally identical word for word. I was like, WTF?

I agree that the stickied articles are really good. Probably the best aspect of the site actually. The forum however, seems like it's overwhelmingly complaints with very little in the way of actionable advice. Not to mention, there are at least a handful of professional trolls who literally spend all of their waking hours on the forum. They claim to be ladies men but when they've posted 40 or 50 times in 12 hours every single day, well, their actions speak for themselves.

As far as flakes, I don't understand why men complain about this? Everyone gets flaked on, some more than others. It's like complaining about drivers who drive at 62 mph, rather than 55 mph as posted. Its so common, complaining about it will only drive you mad.

Here's my own experience with a recent flake. I met this one girl on St. Patty's day weekend. Cute girl. Some old drunk weirdo was annoying the f out of her and wasn't going away. I walked up and simply observed. I was legitimately concerned, but didn't say anything, I just sort of stood there. After a minute or two, the guy eventually went away. After he left, she was talking with another girl, saying she was so relieved he left. The ugly girl she was talking to mentioned she was glad I was there. Anyway, I talked very briefly with the cute girl. I was getting ready to leave. I randomly invited her to an after party. She smiled, said she had to get up early the next day. I grabbed her number and jetted.

I texted her the next day, bit of chit chat. Then, I texted her twice inviting her out when I was out. No reply. I saw her a month later at the same spot. I said hi and she was super tense and weird and didn't want to talk. Never saw her again after that. It's just a numbers game. I don't see the point of getting emotionally invested so early with a girl I barely know. I had multiple girls I was working on so what if one number flakes?



You're right. The DJ Bible and Bootcamp don't make promises. But it is implied that if you follow the steps, you will get laid like a rock star. Or at least that's what I recall reading. It's a process.

The problems with any bootcamp is that it can lead you to "burn it down" which is not much of a problem in a big city. However, it could become a huge problem in a social circle setting or smaller cities. The bootcamp requires volume and many cities don't have the requisite numbers to make something like a bootcamp a realistic possibility.
Who says you have to stay in your city?
 

corrector

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Holy Spirit wouldn't accuse someone as being racist for no reason. Stop being a hypocrite. That's a good start for you.
For the record, I have been listening to allot of Black news, and you might have said something in your post that simply triggered something (i.e. Tyrone is a Black name, you were talking about the hood, or portraying Blacks in a negative light). It is nothing personal.
I listen to youtube channels such as Roland Martin, Philip Scott from the Advice Show, to name a couple and think I'm educated about Black issues in the States.

If you tune into these channels and listen to them yourself then perhaps you can understand where I was coming from.
 

Glassguy

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For the record, I have been listening to allot of Black news, and you might have said something in your post that simply triggered something (i.e. Tyrone is a Black name, you were talking about the hood, or portraying Blacks in a negative light). It is nothing personal.
I listen to youtube channels such as Roland Martin, Philip Scott from the Advice Show, to name a couple and think I'm educated about Black issues in the States.

If you tune into these channels and listen to them yourself then perhaps you can understand where I was coming from.
No hard feelings bro.
 

Amante Silvestre

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I actually read this last night after someone posted it on seddit

https://www.maxim.com/news/millennials-are-having-less-sex-than-ever-2019-4

But yeah, the PUA industry has kind of died. RSD (biggest pickup company in the world) shut down the forums and moved on from 'pickup' to Tony Robbins/General self help/motivational stuff. 90% of the PUA forums that I used to read and that were active have died. Even nextasf (classic PUA forum that succeeded MASF where people like mystery and vin dicarlo posted before getting 'famous'!) announced that they will be shutting down this month due to a lack of interest/activity. People either aren't interested in getting laid, or they feel like, unless you are like a male model looking dude, you just have no shot so forget about it. As I say, in the old days people would say ''Don't worry, girls don't care about looks much, and with 'game' and teasing, negging bla bla bla you can still make her want you'', but I nobody believes that anymore. Maybe because they've seen too many 'tinder experiments' etc with handsome dudes on youtube which seems to question that theory! Dunno. Strange times, though! I personally instinctively feel that social media is the main culprit, but i'm no sociologist

The video below is why PUA is dead.

All of these books, all of the seminars, the TV shows, the videos, the entire industry that was built up around PUA for over a decade..... generated entire armies of men who just SUCK at it.


It’s like 10 million guys all out there trying to impress women with the same magic trick...and they’re all fvcking it up.

God bless those guys for trying, don’t get me wrong, but it’s sad.

I wouldn’t do a PUA “routine” these days if you paid me to do it.

The game changes. Catch up.
 

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logicallefty

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@Amante Silvestre has a point. I’m not in the belief that traditional PUA tactics have completely gone out the window, but they are definitely becoming more main stream and main stream anything for men historically doesn’t work. More importantly yet is the fact that most guys do suck at applying them.

I know many of you don’t like country music but watch This video from 0:00 to 1:15. All these guys fighting over the same woman. All of them could easily be alphas by the way they look, but the guy who got the chick stood out and played it cool. Did his own thing while others did the same thing. That’s really the key is not doing the same old crap that every other guy does. Whatever that means for you.



 

illstep

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@Amante Silvestre has a point. I’m not in the belief that traditional PUA tactics have completely gone out the window, but they are definitely becoming more main stream and main stream anything for men historically doesn’t work. More importantly yet is the fact that most guys do suck at applying them.

I know many of you don’t like country music but watch This video from 0:00 to 1:15. All these guys fighting over the same woman. All of them could easily be alphas by the way they look, but the guy who got the chick stood out and played it cool. Did his own thing while others did the same thing. That’s really the key is not doing the same old crap that every other guy does. Whatever that means for you.



that girl is cute! Imagine getting her. phwooar

But truth be told, in real life, the only time the quiet guy who ignores the girl and 'plays it cool' gets the girl, is if she thinks he's like her 10/10 to look at. (But then, no matter what he'd have done he'd have probably got her)
At least where I live, it's the loud, direct, confident, ballsy guys who seem to do best. Very rarely the James Bond types 'playing it cool' and doing their own thing. That's kind of what most guys do, tbh! (usually due being too nervous too approach the girl ). Go too a bar here and almost everyone is 'doing their own' thing, certainly not hitting on girls and instead 'playing it cool'

Although in a way I imagine that method certainly working better for much older guys trying to get 'women' as opposed to hot young party girls

Could also be somewhat location based too, I imagine. Different cultures etc
 
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The problems with any bootcamp is that it can lead you to "burn it down" which is not much of a problem in a big city. However, it could become a huge problem in a social circle setting or smaller cities. The bootcamp requires volume and many cities don't have the requisite numbers to make something like a bootcamp a realistic possibility.
This. In my immediate area this will happen quickly. Boston is nearby but making field trips there frequently is not sustainable with my life schedule (but when I am in fact traveling I do make a point of taking advantage of the opportunity to practice).

But as I've been reading through it (plus Pook and similar stuff) I'm in a mode of self-improvement/bug-fixing rather than worrying all that much about getting laid. Practice, self-observe, reflect, learn, improve, repeat.
 

corrector

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The video below is why PUA is dead.

All of these books, all of the seminars, the TV shows, the videos, the entire industry that was built up around PUA for over a decade..... generated entire armies of men who just SUCK at it.
The specific video didn't have any PUA routines, just a bunch of horndogs that look like they are following through with some dare or random prank. This can't even be serious. It's like intended to show some fails for entertainment. You don't need to learn PUA to do some cavemanning stunt. At least post a proper video if you are trying to make a point.

Also, you posted a video back in 2016. I also found a video in 2016 here:


You have all sorts of videos that year. Most successful video edit out the fails, unless they intend to show fails.
 

corrector

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https://www.returnofkings.com/159286/the-death-of-the-pua-community This link explains everything about why PUA is dead and goes over chronology in detail. I do remember 2005 like it was yesterday - it was a year that had 40 Year Old Virgin movie, Hitch movie, and had Neil Strauss "The Game". Things went downhill once the Eliot Roger and incel started smearing this badly, its like a bad media campaign.

The article says do not self-define yourself as incel/PUA or any of these terms as it will be an instant social death today. It looks like MGTOW has taken over anyway.

Here are videos talking about Julian Blanc that advocated choking women when picking them up

This was taken up with major news outlets including CNN.

 
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Grewd

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I've been skimming through the titles of the new threads and occasionally reading a few posts.

It's all like a broken record. Apparently every woman on the planet is bipolar and hypergamous! Not a single girl is worth sexing. Which is convenient since no one is getting laid anyway. Only posts which reinforce this negative mentality get upvoted, promoting groupthink and conformity.

Is anyone having any success? Is there anything constructive we can tell anyone on this forum?
I have mixed feelings about threads like this. On one hand this thread is itself a complaint and focusing on the negative, on the other hand I get what you're saying.

Some negative parts on this forum is useful though. This isn't a pure pick-up forum, the scope of discussion here is a bit broader and that's a good thing IMO. Protecting oneself from the bad sides of women means we need to know the bad sides and in turn we need to talk about it. This is critically important to be aware of preferably before going out there, because getting involved with women is not without risks.

I do agree that the negativity is a bit too much in many cases and some do actually seem to despise women. I am not one of those guys, I don't generalize half of the human population on Earth. Some women are great people, some not at all.

It would be great if a less biased discussion was possible, but the nature of the topic of this forum is clearly emotionally charged and thus it's hard to stay objective. It would be infinitely more useful to discuss ways of differentiating good from bad amd become more efficient in filtering women, but instead it's often distracted by people saying how much they hate feminism or particular traits of some women.

I've been here a while and at times this forum has frustrated me, but I have learned to manage it. To take breaks, put down my phone if I even feel slightly frustrated by anything here, ignore the naysayers and respond to guys who genuinely seeks advice to improve themselves.

About success I'm definitely having my version of success. I sought relationship when I first came here, with or without the help of anything on SoSuave I was clear about that goal. The negativity actually hardened me in a way, I had been naive in my pursuit. You have 2 choices when facing the negativity here, you can give up because it's all sh!t or you can work around it. I chose to work around it, to still achieve my goal but take care not to walk in the same footsteps that made some guys jaded. The goal was harder, because now the task wasn't just finding a girlfriend, it was to not find a good girlfriend who wouldn't screw me over like some guys here have been screwed over.

In my opinion I achieved that goal after a few tries, learning progressively more after every woman I got involved with until I met my current girlfriend. First getting over my anxiety, then figuring out what to do and what to definitely not do, how to consistently attract and finally figure out how to build a sustainable and good relationship.

I've been having a great and unproblematic relationship for almost 4 years now which satisfies all that I wanted. Thanks to this forum, several other resources and of course my own firm will. This forum has been great help in identifying what could go wrong so I can face it prepared if it ever happens to me. I don't fear, I work out solutions to make it a non-issue.
 

Grewd

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Here are videos talking about Julian Blanc that advocated choking women when picking them up
He didn't actually advocate that. He was being an idiot posting dark jokes on social media. Then feminists and mainstream media cherry picked and composed a tiny part of his content to portray him this way, fairly successfully too I might add. In the context of the rest of his content it's very clear he doesn't stand for it and just had a fvcked up sense of humor.
 

Trump

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I believe that men that struggle with women are either lazy, unhappy or socially inept individuals. Each is a terribly hard thing to fix without lifestyle changes and most people do not want to put the time and effort into improvement.
I agree with the 2nd sentence. I disagree with the first sentence. You can be a pro-active go getter, happy, and socially ept, and still struggle with women. One has nothing to do with the other. Not saying those things don’t help, but with women it’s not a cause and effect issue. Because you do “A” doesn’t mean they will realize or care.

A lot of the thinking here is: do A, B, C and the the hot girl suddenly realize how hot you are and give into her basic instincts. Guys take the advice, do A,B, and C, and the girl still doesn’t care. I can see why guys get so frustrated on this site.

Y’all act like it so so simple to get women, yet I’m wondering why y’all ain’t multimillionaires because is so so simple to make money.
 
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daproest1

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Here's one example. I posted in a thread on 27 year olds. I found a lot of the comments to be on point. I added my own observations which others found to be accurate based upon their own experiences as well. Add to that, the one or two women posting were getting terribly irate which strongly suggests that the observations were accurate.

Then, someone asked me what could be done to improve their own lives and unfortunately I didn't bother to reply. I just found it fun to post up my observations and experiences and maybe get a rep point and I left it at that. I'll start another thread answering that guys' question. Hopefully it'll get as much traction and constructive responses as the negative 'all women are sociopaths, hypergamous and bpd' threads.
That 27 year old post was soooo on point. I worked that theory out myself and told a few others. They laughed. It was nice to see I wasn’t the only one that noticed the pattern.
 

daproest1

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If posters follow the blind, they will get blind results.

If they follow posters who get it done in real life, they will improve.

Self improvement is the key to all sucess. Not just women.

You wouldnt take financial advice from a bum on the street so be careful who you listen to and heed advice from on here.
How do we know how to differentiate between the 2?
 

Spaz

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How do we know how to differentiate between the 2?
The posters that complains endlessly, doesn't post field reports, quotes plenty of PUA tactics, quotes dozens of other people game play and of course female posters who are actively feminizing you boys into white knights.

Feel free to take their advice at your own peril.
 

Spaz

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I agree with the 2nd sentence. I disagree with the first sentence. You can be a pro-active go getter, happy, and socially ept, and still struggle with women. One has nothing to do with the other. Not saying those things don’t help, but with women it’s not a cause and effect issue. Because you do “A” doesn’t mean they will realize or care.

A lot of the thinking here is: do A, B, C and the the hot girl suddenly realize how hot you are and give into her basic instincts. Guys take the advice, do A,B, and C, and the girl still doesn’t care. I can see why guys get so frustrated on this site.

Y’all act like it so so simple to get women, yet I’m wondering why y’all ain’t multimillionaires because is so so simple to make money.
If your sphere of influence is large and efficient then it's impossible to not have admiring females.
 

glass half full

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I'm sure tired of all the whining here. Talk of other forums that were once good, that are now gone. And now, the same people as in the last year, racking up post count totals and acting like most guys other than themselves are just pussies...reminds me of junior HS. Don't see them talking about their conquests though. Just building themselves up and putting others down. I sometimes wonder- are they really men behind that screen, or women setting out to disrupt Men's groups (think Sandman, and others mentioning women shutting lights off on guys having men's meetings in Canada).

Pointless drivel. I am ready to f'n leave. I come here to learn and share. I miss the old posters when I started here.
Some of you are right, it's not the same anymore.
 
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