"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Ottocinclus

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I'm kinda new to bar approaches. So I was out last night. I order a drink at a bar, and I notice two girls next to me. Both shot me a couple of quick glances. This normally seems like a signal to approach, but they kept their backs turned toward me and just kept facing each other and/or the bar.

I guess I should have just found a way to break into their circle? Tap on the shoulder? Say something louder to get their attention? Or do I even bother unless they are facing me and at least smiling?
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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CornbreadFed

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I'm kinda new to bar approaches. So I was out last night. I order a drink at a bar, and I notice two girls next to me. Both shot me a couple of quick glances. This normally seems like a signal to approach, but they kept their backs turned toward me and just kept facing each other and/or the bar.

I guess I should have just found a way to break into their circle? Tap on the shoulder? Say something louder to get their attention? Or do I even bother unless they are facing me and at least smiling?
Find a wingman or group to go out with. The last bar success I had was a similar situation with two women in some corner. I approached them and said my friend wanted to buy them a shot, and they accepted. That broke the ice; they joined our group for the night and ended up fvcking both of them that night lol. I had no visual cues or any of this BS IOIS I keep seeing regurgitated on this forum. Just two women minding their own business at some table by themselves.
 

zekko

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I approached them and said my friend wanted to buy them a shot, and they accepted.
Lol, did your friend know about it? Kind of brilliant if not, throws all the rejection risk on him. :)
 

Ottocinclus

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Yeah, the only success I've ever had was when I was with my "wing man." It's funny, he's pretty much an incel. I can't figure out why. He's decent looking and has his own business. But he'll approach and entertain anybody, and that's when I'd slide in. Every night I was with him I'd at least get a make out (not with him LOL).

Funny, I think he got mad about this, since he doesn't want to hang out at night with me anymore. Now I'm stuck solo. I guess it's just as well. I should find people that actually have game to hang out with, or at least people with good social circles.
 

Ottocinclus

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I'm just wondering in general, too. I watch women at bars, and it seems like they're scoping out guys and want to be approached, but when a guy they were looking at gets near they just turn away and act like he isn't there.

Seems counterproductive LOL
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Plinco

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I'm kinda new to bar approaches. So I was out last night. I order a drink at a bar, and I notice two girls next to me. Both shot me a couple of quick glances. This normally seems like a signal to approach, but they kept their backs turned toward me and just kept facing each other and/or the bar.

I guess I should have just found a way to break into their circle? Tap on the shoulder? Say something louder to get their attention? Or do I even bother unless they are facing me and at least smiling?
You just have to immerse yourself and embrace the feelings of shame, guilt, and/or fear. The good news is that anything you start, you tend to finish, so just get started. Just accept the embarrassment of the first few you do.
 

BaronOfHair

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@Ottocinclus "I guess I should have just found a way to break into their circle?"

Walking up, and uttering words to the effect of "Yo", "Sup", any variation thereof is MORE underrated than deriding Bible and Koran humpers as blockheads to their faces

Give it a whirl
 

The Duke

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I'm kinda new to bar approaches. So I was out last night. I order a drink at a bar, and I notice two girls next to me. Both shot me a couple of quick glances. This normally seems like a signal to approach, but they kept their backs turned toward me and just kept facing each other and/or the bar.

I guess I should have just found a way to break into their circle? Tap on the shoulder? Say something louder to get their attention? Or do I even bother unless they are facing me and at least smiling?
I would lean in and make a funny comment then go from there. Nothing complicated but it needs to be somewhat humorous or interesting. It needs to be engaging.

Yeah, the only success I've ever had was when I was with my "wing man." It's funny, he's pretty much an incel. I can't figure out why. He's decent looking and has his own business. But he'll approach and entertain anybody, and that's when I'd slide in. Every night I was with him I'd at least get a make out (not with him LOL).

Funny, I think he got mad about this, since he doesn't want to hang out at night with me anymore. Now I'm stuck solo. I guess it's just as well. I should find people that actually have game to hang out with, or at least people with good social circles.
You should have thrown your friend a bone. Help each other out. My wing (who was great at openers) and I would figure out what girl liked who the best and try and make the match happen. I was never going to get in his way if it meant he had a better chance because he was a better fit for whatever girl we were talking to.
 
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"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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