starfishandcoffee
Don Juan
- Joined
- Jun 22, 2009
- Messages
- 144
- Reaction score
- 2
I love the ability to talk with family and old friends on there, but I hate the feeling of having no mystery about me.
She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.
You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.
The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
So this is what you do, you ONLY have family and friends on your Facebook and DON'T add anyone who doesn't fall into that category.starfishandcoffee said:I love the ability to talk with family and old friends on there, but I hate the feeling of having no mystery about me.
I am so glad I graduated before any of these websites came out and became "popular". If having a Facebook is the new social standard for normalcy, then our futures are all doomed.I can understand wanting to delete your Facebook if you're out of college, but it has become such a huge focal point of college that I've seen people been weirded out when somebody says they don't have Facebook. Literally everyone I know at my University has Facebook except for very anti-social people.
Facebook can also be a great way to increase your social proof if you have a lot of pictures with you and a bunch of girls, at parties, doing exciting stuff, etc.
I'm on facebook, but I don't think I've lost any mystery about me. Occasionally friends will take pictures of me at a party and post it on there. That's about it.starfishandcoffee said:I love the ability to talk with family and old friends on there, but I hate the feeling of having no mystery about me.
I'd been on Facebook since way back when it was TheFacebook, and they'd just had about 11 schools. This was before Walls, before News Feed, before Photo albums.Thundernuts said:Easy, man take all the really personal **** off your facebook. Less is more, if you are filling your facebook with your life story then it strips you of your mystery. My brother and uncle, both of whom are just the ideal don juans, have told me time and time again don't post personal **** on facebook. If you have nothing on there it gives them something to ask about, take back your mystique.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.