"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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The Wedding which leads to divorce

SW15

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Biggest fraud marriage... my girlfriends best friend. She looks plastic.... demanded her sister take diet pills for the wedding or she wouldn’t be allowed in the bridal party....cost somewhere in the neighborhood of 250k

After her wedding I was at another wedding her and her husband also attended... her husband got popped by some dude he tried to kiss.... and then got thrown out for telling a 14 year old boy he was hot........ the most bizarre sh!t I’ve ever seen... and if you look on their social media it would appear they are in heaven

"Couples who elope are 12.5x more likely to end up divorced than couples who get married at a wedding with 200+ people."
https://randalolson.com/2014/10/10/what-makes-for-a-stable-marriage/
The whole 2014 Randal Olson analysis is flawed for a lot of reasons.

1. The sample size was only marriages that began in 2008 or later. In 2014, those marriages were between 0-6 years old. A lot of marriages fail between 5-15 years into the marriage.

If we were to look at 2008-2014 started marriages in 2023, there would be a higher failure rate than looking at them through the 2014 lens.

2. The "reference points" chosen by authors made no sense in most cases. Research that has reference points near either medians or average of behavior are more sensible.

For example, in the variable "how long you were dating prior to marriage", the reference point of behavior is dating 12 months or less before marriage. That's ridiculous. Most people's wedding days are not within 12 months of a first date with a person.

3. Factors tend to conflict.

Example: More guests at wedding = lower probability of divorce while at the same time increased costs of wedding = more likelihood of divorce.

The more guests at a wedding, the more likely the cost of the wedding goes up. How do you add guests to a wedding without increasing costs?

Also, 200+ guests at a wedding is a lot. One of the weddings I skipped had a guest count in the low 100s. I thought that was a big wedding but apparently it wasn't.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Machine10033

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Simple ceremony and reception dinner at the church. Just close friends and family. Sweet and simple.
And yes doing prenup. He’s cool with that.
This would be exactly how I would do it.

I have seen a ton of divorces... I have heard the soon to be ex claim... I don’t want anything from him.... but when that paper is signed they walk away with almost everything he ever worked for. Why not get a legal document protecting each other from financial
Catastrophe?
 

SW15

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3. Factors tend to conflict.

Example: More guests at wedding = lower probability of divorce while at the same time increased costs of wedding = more likelihood of divorce.

The more guests at a wedding, the more likely the cost of the wedding goes up. How do you add guests to a wedding without increasing costs?

Also, 200+ guests at a wedding is a lot. One of the weddings I skipped had a guest count in the low 100s. I thought that was a big wedding but apparently it wasn't.
The article below is related to my earlier quote.

 

GT40

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I’ve been talking to my kids who are 19 and 23. Pass in the expensive wedding. Take the money invest it. Put it on a mortgage.
make the smart play.
 

The Duke

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I think marriages should be contracts. Like a lease. 3-5yr terms. Define the requirements. Define how assets are held/get split. If one isn't happy with the other then the lease won't get renewed.

I believe this was being considered in Mexico a few years back.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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BadBoy89

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I don’t mind an expensive expensive wedding as long as the woman pays for it. I believe a man paying for a wedding is oppressive and holds women down.

I’m a feminist.
 

SW15

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I think marriages should be contracts. Like a lease. 3-5yr terms. Define the requirements. Define how assets are held/get split. If one isn't happy with the other then the lease won't get renewed.

I believe this was being considered in Mexico a few years back.
I don't see this happening. Marriage has both religious significance (for those who practice a religion) and secular significance. You're proposing a change to the secular definition of marriage.

Both religions and the state have "Till Death Do You Part" as a part of the vows. "Till Death Do You Part" means nothing to most who take that vow now.
 

BackInTheGame78

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That article linked to a data-driven breakdown of factors that went into divore. The runaway winner was eloping versus large wedding (but spending more on the wedding increases the divorce rate, as mentioned earlier).

"Couples who elope are 12.5x more likely to end up divorced than couples who get married at a wedding with 200+ people."
https://randalolson.com/2014/10/10/what-makes-for-a-stable-marriage/
Likely because it means both families do not support them being married which will cause endless problems they can't get away from and shows they are impulsive which increases the chance they will also be impulsive when choosing to get divorced over small issues.
 

BackInTheGame78

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I don’t mind an expensive expensive wedding as long as the woman pays for it. I believe a man paying for a wedding is oppressive and holds women down.

I’m a feminist.
So basically you want your wife to waste a bunch of money that could have been used after you were married for things like buying a house, paying off vehicles or investing?

How does that make sense? You are basically saying you are cool with her flushing money that would be half yours otherwise down the toilet.
 

BadBoy89

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So basically you want your wife to waste a bunch of money that could have been used after you were married for things like buying a house, paying off vehicles or investing?

How does that make sense? You are basically saying you are cool with her flushing money that would be half yours otherwise down the toilet.
I’m a high quality male and deserve the best. It’s my one special day where all eyes are on me and I can make my single guy friends jealous I will not alone.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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BackInTheGame78

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I’m a high quality male and deserve the best. It’s my one special day where all eyes are on me and I can make my single guy friends jealous I will not alone.
If that's your view on finances you are more like financially illeterate and will be broke before too long.
 

FlirtLife

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Both religions and the state have "Till Death Do You Part" as a part of the vows. "Till Death Do You Part" means nothing to most who take that vow now.
Modern interpretation: "Til Dearth Do You Part", And "for richer. Period."
 

SW15

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This is what happens in a divorce. Divorce is so expensive.

 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

Solomon

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One of the best marriages I’ve seen is my old boss.... his now wife said I don’t want your sh!t.... and if we split I want mine.... they got a pre nup... 1200 bucks at the time... got the marriage license 40 dollars and had it at the court house 120 bucks.... 1360.

Biggest fraud marriage... my girlfriends best friend. She looks plastic.... demanded her sister take diet pills for the wedding or she wouldn’t be allowed in the bridal party....cost somewhere in the neighborhood of 250k

After her wedding I was at another wedding her and her husband also attended... her husband got popped by some dude he tried to kiss.... and then got thrown out for telling a 14 year old boy he was hot........ the most bizarre sh!t I’ve ever seen... and if you look on their social media it would appear they are in heaven
The husband is a downlow fairy? bwhaahhahahahaahha
This is another thread in itself how many women are knowingly marrying fairymen? thanks for making me laugh
 

FlexpertHamilton

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Formal, extravagent weddings used to be only for royalty or social elite. Then the middle and even lower class felt it necessary to emulate this despite not being able to afford it. Also, the "white" was used to symbolize purity, a mockery now, seeing these tatted *****s with 40 bodies walking down the aisles, what a joke.

Women don't get excited about marriages, they get excited about weddings. They are little girls in adult bodies.
 
M

member162951

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That included the ceremony at the Bellagio, my dress, my shoes (Manolo Blanchik)...
Thanks for sharing @BeExcellent that info added a lot of value to the discussion! :rofl:

P.S. I hope you know I'm totally teasing ya, I can't seem to help it sometimes with you, all in good fun, please know that. You truly are a valuable contributor, I mean that.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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