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The Wedding which leads to divorce

Von

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Hey everyone, a story of wedding 'cost' and divorce

A) Expensive ''as you seen me'' wedding
a few years ago 2016 to 2018.. alot of chicks i know got married and some to ''really expensive'' wedding ... the wedding costed 100 000$+ atleast (biggest and luxurious hotel, italy honeymoon, 200 guests , 5 to 7 plate services, musicians, shows)....

5 years later : well they are all divorced now (even if they got kids within these years)

B) average/low cost
The people with average low cost 'did it myself' 'bring friends only' wedding around the same years... well everyone still together (with kids).

The average kid number is 2 in both case... which i heard is the hardest situation for a couple.
 

SW15

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Hey everyone, a story of wedding 'cost' and divorce

A) Expensive ''as you seen me'' wedding
a few years ago 2016 to 2018.. alot of chicks i know got married and some to ''really expensive'' wedding ... the wedding costed 100 000$+ atleast (biggest and luxurious hotel, italy honeymoon, 200 guests , 5 to 7 plate services, musicians, shows)....

5 years later : well they are all divorced now (even if they got kids within these years)

B) average/low cost
The people with average low cost 'did it myself' 'bring friends only' wedding around the same years... well everyone still together (with kids).

The average kid number is 2 in both case... which i heard is the hardest situation for a couple.
The wedding cycle in my local area social circle went from 2016-2020, peaking in 2017.

All of the people in my social circle that married in 2017 are still together in early 2023. The 2017 weddings all had pregnancies occur since mid-2021.

 

Bokanovsky

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This makes sense. The only purpose of an expensive wedding is for the bride to impress her friends/family. The type of woman who wants this tends to be shallow, selfish and materialistic. Needless to say, those are no qualities that are conducive to a long and happy marriage.
 

CyrusTheGreat

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All of the people in my social circle that married in 2017 are still together in early 2023. The 2017 weddings all had pregnancies occur since mid-2021.
Somewhat of topic, but how do you feel about knowing many couple who've gotten married while you're single in you mid thirties?
 

SW15

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Somewhat of topic, but how do you feel about knowing many couple who've gotten married while you're single in you mid thirties?
Their lives are not spectacular in a lot of cases. Their relationships likely peaked during the boyfriend-girlfriend phase.
 

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Stanley

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My brothers wedding cost over 300k at one of the nicest venues possible with over 300 attendees. Absolutely f****** ludicrous. Fortunately (sorta) his wife helped pay for a large portion of it so they both shot themselves in the foot together. True love lol.... Meanwhile a buddy of mine just married his girl of 7 years by walking into a courthouse and walking out. Done
 

BackInTheGame78

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Anyone spending big money on a wedding regarldes of whether or not they get divorced is an idiot IMHO. Unless they have plenty of money and it's no big deal to them.

The vast majority of people do not fall into this category.

There is no way in the world I would be spending 30, 40, 50+ K on a wedding. Take that money and put it towards a house or paying off other debt.

Most people have the financial literacy of a snail tho, so it doesn't surprise me when I see people now taking out "wedding loans" to pay for these huge weddings.
 

Von

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I think m'y wedding costed around 20 000$ including honeymoon.... But we did everything ourself and wedding gift made it we broke even..no débt.

It was fun and teambuilding to Do all of it.

Wedding are hard, first year was intense. Now we planning baby 2.(wish me luck)

People think too Much with their butterfly lust. Finance issues are just another nail
 

SW15

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The wedding cycle in my local area social circle went from 2016-2020, peaking in 2017.

All of the people in my social circle that married in 2017 are still together in early 2023. The 2017 weddings all had pregnancies occur since mid-2021.
I am surprised that there haven't been more divorces in my local area social circle. Eventually, there will be.

I have college classmates and similarly aged family members who have gotten divorced.
 

AureliusMaximus

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This makes sense. The only purpose of an expensive wedding is for the bride to impress her friends/family. The type of woman who wants this tends to be shallow, selfish and materialistic. Needless to say, those are no qualities that are conducive to a long and happy marriage.
Same reason why (the demand/expectation), for an expensive wedding ring is a red flag. If she is wants a expensive ring then you can count on divorce later as she then can cash in the money for it. She never cared about her man, only herself. These type of chicks also exactly that: selfish and materialistic
 

bmp2cpm

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My wedding with my forever wife, cost us $31,700, included rings, dress, tux rental, church, reception, and honeymoon. Was a small wedding of around 35 guests.

Was totally worth it. I had a budget and wife followed it, that’s how I knew she was the one! :D
 

Stanley

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My brothers wedding cost over 300k at one of the nicest venues possible with over 300 attendees. Absolutely f****** ludicrous. Fortunately (sorta) his wife helped pay for a large portion of it so they both shot themselves in the foot together. True love lol.... Meanwhile a buddy of mine just married his girl of 7 years by walking into a courthouse and walking out. Done
Fun fact the mentioned venue caught on fire yesterday afternoon.! How strange
 

corrector

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Hey everyone, a story of wedding 'cost' and divorce

A) Expensive ''as you seen me'' wedding
a few years ago 2016 to 2018.. alot of chicks i know got married and some to ''really expensive'' wedding ... the wedding costed 100 000$+ atleast (biggest and luxurious hotel, italy honeymoon, 200 guests , 5 to 7 plate services, musicians, shows)....

5 years later : well they are all divorced now (even if they got kids within these years)

B) average/low cost
The people with average low cost 'did it myself' 'bring friends only' wedding around the same years... well everyone still together (with kids).

The average kid number is 2 in both case... which i heard is the hardest situation for a couple.
That is interesting. What is the average low cost? Eloping, or a city hall marriage is really the lowest cost.

I don't just think it's a matter of expensive, but whether it is expensive relative to the overall financial situation of the parties, as well as the mindset behind the wedding and how that spills over into the marriage. For example, if there is a materialistic mindset of spending more than you can afford or not respecting the finances and expecting you to pay for this or that so you can put on a big splash and make an impression, then that may not bode well for the marriage afterwards as those same materialistic values will put a strain in the marriage if you don't have a good job or are in a good financial position. It doesn't matter if you spent $ 20K instead of $ 100K and got a huge discount, if all you can really afford is $ 500 to avoid things souring after the wedding, for example. What started as romantic love and a genuine interest can devolve into what you can provide to stay married to her and that sours everything up when things are tight.

In my case, I would not say we had an expensive wedding as it cost $ 20K overall, but I would say that I could not really afford that or was in a terrible financial position and any money spent on the wedding would have been better spend stabalizing the marriage. (ie if we had accomodation to live together for a year or two at some place for the same amount of money as the cost of the wedding then that would have been more helpful than an expensive wedding but living seperately afterwards as you can't afford a place to stay together). In my case, there were 200 guests, a photoshoot, however, the marriage could not last longer than 2 - 3 months and just ended badly.

But it's the principle. Perhaps if you have too many guests, make it into an event, then there are people who could be jealous or critical and poison things whereas if things are more discrete and private then the potential to have your wife poisoned by the injections of other people would be minimal.
 
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Machine10033

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One of the best marriages I’ve seen is my old boss.... his now wife said I don’t want your sh!t.... and if we split I want mine.... they got a pre nup... 1200 bucks at the time... got the marriage license 40 dollars and had it at the court house 120 bucks.... 1360.

Biggest fraud marriage... my girlfriends best friend. She looks plastic.... demanded her sister take diet pills for the wedding or she wouldn’t be allowed in the bridal party....cost somewhere in the neighborhood of 250k

After her wedding I was at another wedding her and her husband also attended... her husband got popped by some dude he tried to kiss.... and then got thrown out for telling a 14 year old boy he was hot........ the most bizarre sh!t I’ve ever seen... and if you look on their social media it would appear they are in heaven
 

Stanley

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One of the best marriages I’ve seen is my old boss.... his now wife said I don’t want your sh!t.... and if we split I want mine.... they got a pre nup... 1200 bucks at the time... got the marriage license 40 dollars and had it at the court house 120 bucks.... 1360.

Biggest fraud marriage... my girlfriends best friend. She looks plastic.... demanded her sister take diet pills for the wedding or she wouldn’t be allowed in the bridal party....cost somewhere in the neighborhood of 250k

After her wedding I was at another wedding her and her husband also attended... her husband got popped by some dude he tried to kiss.... and then got thrown out for telling a 14 year old boy he was hot........ the most bizarre sh!t I’ve ever seen... and if you look on their social media it would appear they are in heaven
The fraud one sounds like some serious beta bux
 

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BeExcellent

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Hmmmmm. Advice from the old lady:

First wedding in 2000. Went to Vegas in December. Didn’t even send formal invitations, just called & invited people. Total cost? Roughly 10K. That included the ceremony at the Bellagio, my dress, my shoes (Manolo Blanchik) 3 nights in a suite at the Bellagio, a case of champagne, cup cakes from Albertsons grocery store, the flowers, the photography (including negatives & rights to negatives), and travel to/from Vegas.

Rings were more (he got me a very expensive platinum & diamond wedding set) and the mothers split cost of a luncheon for the 35 or so guests who came (about $2400).

We had the reception in our suite at Bellagio, was really cool. Was like a fancy ****tail party. Everyone had a blast and then they left to entertain themselves in Sin City.

We didn’t do a big honeymoon trip. He had a nightclub to run. We did a couple of long weekends and called it good.

Except for the luncheon hubby & I paid for everything except the travel & lodging for our guests.

Result? Together 20 years & 3 kids. Still get on well.
 

BeExcellent

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Currently planning (if you can call it that) my second wedding. Wearing same dress & shoes as the first one (his idea, I’m totally cool with it), Renting an Air B&B to do ceremony, reception and family/friends socializing. A friend is making the bridal cake as her gift to us, family members making the Grooms cake as a gift too. Having less than 50 people (family & very close friends), and getting a couple cases of bubbles, some chairs & a photographer. Might have a band if a friend’s band wants to play. Otherwise might have a small classical ensemble, nothing over the top really. No big dinner, some appetizer trays. Planning to spend around the same as before.

And we are going to Greece for 10 days or 2 weeks. Not stressed about it at all.

And yes doing prenup. He’s cool with that.

The wedding is not important, although it’s the first wedding in his family so want his parents to attend something memorable (simple but memorable).

The marriage is what’s important. Often people lose sight of that.
 

Atom Smasher

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We had an ultra-inexpensive wedding, and not for lack of cash. She is very non-materialistic and there’s not an ounce of trying to impress others in her.

Simple ceremony and reception dinner at the church. Just close friends and family. Sweet and simple.

As @BeExcellent said, the marriage is what’s important. Simple always works well. A big production is fraught with potential for stress, complications, conflicts and disappointments.
 

FlirtLife

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All of the people in my social circle that married in 2017 are still together in early 2023. The 2017 weddings all had pregnancies occur since mid-2021.

That article linked to a data-driven breakdown of factors that went into divore. The runaway winner was eloping versus large wedding (but spending more on the wedding increases the divorce rate, as mentioned earlier).

"Couples who elope are 12.5x more likely to end up divorced than couples who get married at a wedding with 200+ people."
https://randalolson.com/2014/10/10/what-makes-for-a-stable-marriage/
 
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