Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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The Wedding which leads to divorce

SW15

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Biggest fraud marriage... my girlfriends best friend. She looks plastic.... demanded her sister take diet pills for the wedding or she wouldn’t be allowed in the bridal party....cost somewhere in the neighborhood of 250k

After her wedding I was at another wedding her and her husband also attended... her husband got popped by some dude he tried to kiss.... and then got thrown out for telling a 14 year old boy he was hot........ the most bizarre sh!t I’ve ever seen... and if you look on their social media it would appear they are in heaven

"Couples who elope are 12.5x more likely to end up divorced than couples who get married at a wedding with 200+ people."
https://randalolson.com/2014/10/10/what-makes-for-a-stable-marriage/
The whole 2014 Randal Olson analysis is flawed for a lot of reasons.

1. The sample size was only marriages that began in 2008 or later. In 2014, those marriages were between 0-6 years old. A lot of marriages fail between 5-15 years into the marriage.

If we were to look at 2008-2014 started marriages in 2023, there would be a higher failure rate than looking at them through the 2014 lens.

2. The "reference points" chosen by authors made no sense in most cases. Research that has reference points near either medians or average of behavior are more sensible.

For example, in the variable "how long you were dating prior to marriage", the reference point of behavior is dating 12 months or less before marriage. That's ridiculous. Most people's wedding days are not within 12 months of a first date with a person.

3. Factors tend to conflict.

Example: More guests at wedding = lower probability of divorce while at the same time increased costs of wedding = more likelihood of divorce.

The more guests at a wedding, the more likely the cost of the wedding goes up. How do you add guests to a wedding without increasing costs?

Also, 200+ guests at a wedding is a lot. One of the weddings I skipped had a guest count in the low 100s. I thought that was a big wedding but apparently it wasn't.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Machine10033

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Simple ceremony and reception dinner at the church. Just close friends and family. Sweet and simple.
And yes doing prenup. He’s cool with that.
This would be exactly how I would do it.

I have seen a ton of divorces... I have heard the soon to be ex claim... I don’t want anything from him.... but when that paper is signed they walk away with almost everything he ever worked for. Why not get a legal document protecting each other from financial
Catastrophe?
 

SW15

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3. Factors tend to conflict.

Example: More guests at wedding = lower probability of divorce while at the same time increased costs of wedding = more likelihood of divorce.

The more guests at a wedding, the more likely the cost of the wedding goes up. How do you add guests to a wedding without increasing costs?

Also, 200+ guests at a wedding is a lot. One of the weddings I skipped had a guest count in the low 100s. I thought that was a big wedding but apparently it wasn't.
The article below is related to my earlier quote.

 

GT40

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I’ve been talking to my kids who are 19 and 23. Pass in the expensive wedding. Take the money invest it. Put it on a mortgage.
make the smart play.
 

The Duke

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I think marriages should be contracts. Like a lease. 3-5yr terms. Define the requirements. Define how assets are held/get split. If one isn't happy with the other then the lease won't get renewed.

I believe this was being considered in Mexico a few years back.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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BadBoy89

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I don’t mind an expensive expensive wedding as long as the woman pays for it. I believe a man paying for a wedding is oppressive and holds women down.

I’m a feminist.
 

SW15

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I think marriages should be contracts. Like a lease. 3-5yr terms. Define the requirements. Define how assets are held/get split. If one isn't happy with the other then the lease won't get renewed.

I believe this was being considered in Mexico a few years back.
I don't see this happening. Marriage has both religious significance (for those who practice a religion) and secular significance. You're proposing a change to the secular definition of marriage.

Both religions and the state have "Till Death Do You Part" as a part of the vows. "Till Death Do You Part" means nothing to most who take that vow now.
 

BackInTheGame78

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That article linked to a data-driven breakdown of factors that went into divore. The runaway winner was eloping versus large wedding (but spending more on the wedding increases the divorce rate, as mentioned earlier).

"Couples who elope are 12.5x more likely to end up divorced than couples who get married at a wedding with 200+ people."
https://randalolson.com/2014/10/10/what-makes-for-a-stable-marriage/
Likely because it means both families do not support them being married which will cause endless problems they can't get away from and shows they are impulsive which increases the chance they will also be impulsive when choosing to get divorced over small issues.
 

BackInTheGame78

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I don’t mind an expensive expensive wedding as long as the woman pays for it. I believe a man paying for a wedding is oppressive and holds women down.

I’m a feminist.
So basically you want your wife to waste a bunch of money that could have been used after you were married for things like buying a house, paying off vehicles or investing?

How does that make sense? You are basically saying you are cool with her flushing money that would be half yours otherwise down the toilet.
 

BadBoy89

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So basically you want your wife to waste a bunch of money that could have been used after you were married for things like buying a house, paying off vehicles or investing?

How does that make sense? You are basically saying you are cool with her flushing money that would be half yours otherwise down the toilet.
I’m a high quality male and deserve the best. It’s my one special day where all eyes are on me and I can make my single guy friends jealous I will not alone.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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BackInTheGame78

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I’m a high quality male and deserve the best. It’s my one special day where all eyes are on me and I can make my single guy friends jealous I will not alone.
If that's your view on finances you are more like financially illeterate and will be broke before too long.
 

FlirtLife

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Both religions and the state have "Till Death Do You Part" as a part of the vows. "Till Death Do You Part" means nothing to most who take that vow now.
Modern interpretation: "Til Dearth Do You Part", And "for richer. Period."
 

SW15

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This is what happens in a divorce. Divorce is so expensive.

 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Solomon

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One of the best marriages I’ve seen is my old boss.... his now wife said I don’t want your sh!t.... and if we split I want mine.... they got a pre nup... 1200 bucks at the time... got the marriage license 40 dollars and had it at the court house 120 bucks.... 1360.

Biggest fraud marriage... my girlfriends best friend. She looks plastic.... demanded her sister take diet pills for the wedding or she wouldn’t be allowed in the bridal party....cost somewhere in the neighborhood of 250k

After her wedding I was at another wedding her and her husband also attended... her husband got popped by some dude he tried to kiss.... and then got thrown out for telling a 14 year old boy he was hot........ the most bizarre sh!t I’ve ever seen... and if you look on their social media it would appear they are in heaven
The husband is a downlow fairy? bwhaahhahahahaahha
This is another thread in itself how many women are knowingly marrying fairymen? thanks for making me laugh
 

FlexpertHamilton

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Formal, extravagent weddings used to be only for royalty or social elite. Then the middle and even lower class felt it necessary to emulate this despite not being able to afford it. Also, the "white" was used to symbolize purity, a mockery now, seeing these tatted *****s with 40 bodies walking down the aisles, what a joke.

Women don't get excited about marriages, they get excited about weddings. They are little girls in adult bodies.
 
M

member162951

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That included the ceremony at the Bellagio, my dress, my shoes (Manolo Blanchik)...
Thanks for sharing @BeExcellent that info added a lot of value to the discussion! :rofl:

P.S. I hope you know I'm totally teasing ya, I can't seem to help it sometimes with you, all in good fun, please know that. You truly are a valuable contributor, I mean that.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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