The smoothest thing you ever said to a woman!

[Epic Days]

I told her that the only thing I’m thinking about is how exquisite it would be to have her cvmming in my mouth before I fukked her senseless.

 

[2Rocky]

When asked what my idea of a good first date was I didn't mess around talking about what we were going to do, I instead replied:
" a good first date flows with conversation and creates a level of sexual tension that makes you eager to meet again soon." Then she immediately asked me to meet her for coffee in 10 minutes...I totally missed her signal about how her 3 kids were in school until 2 and her apartment was a few blocks away (at 11:30 am).

 

[2Rocky]

"that's ok . I don't want to be your boyfriend..."

...."I wanna be your MAN friend"

 

[Gentleman]

First time I hung out with this girl at her place. We were on her couch talking, and having a good time/connection. I was trying to be very suave, and only making jokes if they were the appropriate amount of funny and not goofy. I felt a vibe that the conversation was at it's peak, I wanted to make my move but was not sure the best approach as there was some space between us on the couch and she was leaning away from me and I could not move in too easily for the kiss (it would have been un-natural). During the conversation she said something about she likes to do things on the fly and is not much of a planner. So I said:
"oh you're spontaneous.. one of those people that tries to live like its her last day on earth type"
naturally she agreed with me. Then I said:
"well when you kiss me tonight, you better kiss me like it's your last kiss ever"
I stayed silent poker face for her reaction. The ball was in her court. Her eyes opened a bit but she did not move. That's when I called her over to me. She immediately put her glass down and sat up and scooted over to me on the couch. We made out passionately for some time. I pulled her leg over to straddle me and we made out for some more. Then with her on top of me I scooted to the edge of the couch and lifted her up, taking her into her room. 'Twas a great night gents.

 

[Billtx49]

Push the edge,
I’ll bet you don’t come with references do you?
If I didn’t know better I’d think you were following me…
Try to not keep me out late tonight…

 

[RickTheToad]

Nice rack!

 

[lost_blackbird]

"Goodbye."

 

[mrgoodstuff]

You can give me some head and then some pvssy, leave $100 on the nightstand.

 

[9-3enthusiast]

Not so much said, but did...
A woman at my place spotted my guitars and asked... "play something I'll know..."
So I played Jefferson Starship's 'Jane' (Her name was Jane btw) - During the intro bit she started tapping her knee in time with where the drums come in (so.. she obv knew the song....)
Just got through the power chord section at the beginning... she came over and slapped the lips on me...
10 mins later we were upstairs

 

[Mike32ct]

I'm not "smooth" per se. Maybe funny? See below.

1. Bachelorette party going on at the club. Bride-to-be chick was wearing a large plastic p e nis on her head. My opener was, "Are you gonna dance, or are you gonna stand there like a dikhead?" She laughed hysterically and bought me a drink.

2. Before getting a BJ from a professor lady I met in Vegas, I said, "Can you put your glasses on first?" She said, "You're so bad. This is MY class" and then she put the glasses on before getting down to business.

 

[Jcooper]

“Wow, I bet your lips will taste like sweet Milk Chocolate”

 

[TheCharmingGuy]

Once this cute girl came up to me in a bar... she leaned her head on my shoulder and said “give me attention.” I gently eased her head off me and said “maybe if you’re good.” She stared at me in shock for a few seconds and then didn’t leave my side for the rest of the night

 

[Willie Naylor]

Went to a friend of a friend's wedding a few weeks ago.

While the bride was walking down the aisle, I leaned over and asked what she was doing later.

 

[Scars]

I have/had a reputation as a "player".
A female friend of mine introduced me to another female saying "This is Scars, he's probably gonna try to fvck you tonight." (She said it sarcastically/jokingly but I also think it was a little bitter because I kind of friend-zoned her)

This caught me off guard but my instinct was to reach out my hand and shake hers and say "Hi, I'm Scars and I'm probably gonna try to fvck you tonight." After I said this, the girl was glued to me. She followed me around the rest of the night and seemed to only want to talk to me.

Long story short, we ended up having sex. This was really early into my game/pick-up days and it was honestly like an out of body experience. After I said it I was kind of shocked. But I must had said it confidently because she was all about it.

 

[Jair213]

It was Valentines Day and my High School had a couple of kids who ran a little business to deliver Valentine's roses. Naturally, I chose to have one delivered to a girl I had my eye on for quite a while and had already asked her out once but was politely told "No, let's keep it at friends".

But hey I'm a persistent budding Don Juaner and one "No" doesn't throw me off the girl. So these kids they went up and delivered the rose, the card attached to the rose said, "For the message, please call..."

So that night she called, she knew it was me (because she had my number already) and she laughed and said, "Thanks for the rose but I'm waiting to hear the message" so I told her to walk over to the nearest mirror.

When she got there I told her to "Hold the rose up to her face and look in the mirror" so she did and then I said the following words as smoothly and as sexily as I could "That's right, girl. You show the rose what the meaning of 'true beauty' really is" and guys, she melted into a stunned silence and her very next words were "What are you doing tomorrow night?"

$wEeT!

great execution

 

[Hamurabimbi]

“You have wide hips. Good for bearing children.”

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Singing along to whatever's on the radio, but changing the lyric to tease her instead.

That's not "saying" anything though tbh

 

[Borknagar]

You're adorable, Who are you and what makes you awesome? Her "my name is such and such, and blah blah blah" then we make out and a few hours later she was naked on my bed.

 

[Mike32ct]

This was more of an "accidentally" smooth. I just threw this out there to be funny, but it worked better than I thought.

Maybe 2006...

Was at a bar and started chatting with this chick. She said something kind of dismissive and/or sassy. Not sure what it was.

I replied with, "OMG, you are so sleeping on the couch tonight."

She replies with, "Well...I guess it depends if I end up back at your place."

(It worked TOO well. I froze in shock lol. Probably could have continued and pulled.)

 

[Pandora]

Walmart key cutter machine. The girl working it was this super cute latina with a nice body. I was nervous af but I had to shoot my shot. I was like 23.

Me: " can i get three keys cut"

Her: " okay which ones"

Me: " two for my house and the key to your heart"

She blushed and smiled. Even my hating azz cousin who was with me gave me props for that one. I didnt end up getting her number. She said she had a boyfriend.