Ive used one "your eyes sparkle like glass windows and i can see right through; and i see brown cuz you full of sh!t to the top of your head" lol I have never used the dirt flower one, thats pretty good too. lol
Me: Yikes
Girl: What's wrong?
Me: I'm having a tricky time with HW, think you can tutor me?
Girl: Depends, what class?
Me: Anatomy
Girl: Oh, that's easy
Me: Ehhh, not when you have to read out of the book. I'm more of a hands on guy, think you can teach that way?
Girl: Yeah *smirks*
I was at the terrasse of a cafe with a girl (let's call her "A") and a male "friend" who joined us after he saw me (and her ..). A is good looking and dressed sexy and light as it was a sunny day (skirt, heels, small clivage).
She is seating in front of me and he is to the right of me (her left ..). Small square table, we are close to each other.
The friend is a bit pushy and I realise quickly he is selling himself (at my expense! he is putting his hand in front of me at the 1 time I am trying to speak).
Then, behind me comes in a good looking chick (B). He is checking B out as in to prominently show A he is into beautiful women. She plays the game and check her out also (I learned later she is bi.. so she was actually really checking her out) and finally turns to me and says:
A: "Sorry (my name), you are in the wrong seat" (because I can't look behind me)
Me: "On the contrary, I have the best seat, I am seating in front of you *her name)"
The look on both their faces was priceless. The friend laughed spontaneously as in to say he was bowing to the sheer power of the strike. She didn't know what to say but acknowledged the compliment.
Few mn later, the "friend" left us. I stayed with A for the rest of the day. Close Kiss (*100)
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I was hanging with some German international students who were meeting up with some Brazilian chicks. They kept talking about a girl who everyone was trying to get with but failing miserably. We meet up, I ignore her the entire night. Finally we end up on a rooftop bar, so she's basically freezing (it was like 30 degrees out) sitting next to me. I take off my coat and put it on her legs. She goes what's that for? I said, you looked cold. Without missing a beat she jumped on my lap and started making out with me.
After that, in the winter I try to wear a couple layers of really warm clothes and have a coat with me hanging off my arm. (You can't wear a second coat or its very obvious, and also a pain in the ass). Inevitably there will be a chick in line shivering, so I'll semi-loudly say to my friends "I don't know why but I'm not really cold" and then after a minute or so offer the coat to the girl. Always a positive reaction and I think it comes off as more gentlemanly than white knighting.
Girl: "I maintain the house while my flat mates trash it. It's kind of a struggle, last time they had a party they left glitter over everything and I had to clean it up."
Me: "So you're basically the glue holding everything together?"
Girl: "Yeah, I guess."
Me: "Interesting. I've always been a practical kind of guy, I don't like glitter much but there's tons of fun stuff I can do with some decent glue."
We had sex there and then. Okay, no we didn't. It's not the best line. But I got some cuddles and I'll admit I was kind of proud I came up with it totally cold out of the blue
"Watching you perform takes my breath away."
"Me in specific?" "YES. Oh my god... I got really attracted to you..."
"I'm not surprised. I play the 'sexy' part well."
Right after the last performance of the musical I was just in.
The coolest thing I’ve said was this. A woman told me another woman was interested in me. I told her I wasn’t interested because she was a co-worker and I have a rule I don’t date women at work. So I told her thank you but I’m emotionally unavailable but when my action figure comes out I’ll send out to her for free. Vibrator not included.
